DH is not into the sexy time :/

Mokosa · November 2010

So, I see all the other posts of ladies who complain bout their hubbies wanting sex and then not being in the mood buuut my with me its vice versa.

I miss not having sex cuz he's worried i'll get hurt or he'll hurt the baby (even though I've told him its perfectly safe). It's frustrating! I mean I'm pregnant but that doesn't mean I don't wanna have sex.

Any suggestions? or is anyone in the same boat?

watermellens · November 2010

Eh, I'm kind of in the same boat, but not just during pregnancy. I feel like DH has a lower sex drive to begin with so if we go a long time without having any, it's always ME that's worried that's worried about it...I feel like we're not "normal" or something.

Try doing everything but sex? Or find other ways to feel close to him. Good luck!

HappyMommy28 · November 2010

It's normal. DH doesn't like sex while pregnant. However, it's strictly business at this point and he does not really get a choice. It sucks not getting any but remind him that it could be 6 weeks after delivery before you have sex again.

mrschahbar · November 2010

maryellen21:

Eh, I'm kind of in the same boat, but not just during pregnancy. I feel like DH has a lower sex drive to begin with so if we go a long time without having any, it's always ME that's worried that's worried about it...I feel like we're not "normal" or something.

Try doing everything but sex? Or find other ways to feel close to him. Good luck!

That's not just you. My DH and I are the same way. I guess it's not that he doesn't want to normally, he's just not really concerned about it. We could go a while without it and he'd be fine. So I always initiate things.

And being pregnant just makes it worse. Especially now that I'm at the end... as soon as the doctor said that he touched the baby's head DH is completely freaked out at the idea of having sex. Confused

shaw · November 2010

Gosh we have only done it a few times through this entire pregnancy! It was due to a lot of different reasons!? Things will get back to normal eventually!!

ertoye · November 2010

Mine isn't really into sex either. He has that "third person in the room" mentality because he was kissing me the other day and the baby started to kick and he could feel the baby kicking HIM. He said, "see! he doesn't like it. He's kicking me telling me to leave you alone!" It really squicks him out.

jkaplan84 · November 2010

My husband also thinks it will hurt the baby or me. I try to tell him it's actually a good thing to do at this point (we only have a week until the due date).

bookworm10 · November 2010

I totally could have written this! DH feels like its not right for me to be having sex... hard time seeing me like a sexual person while I am pregnant! WTF!

I have ALWAYS had a higher sex drive than him so for him to say we just are not going to have sex it seems to be a bit easier. Frustrates the heck out of me though. We do talk about it and we try to find other ways of being intimate like snuggling and making out but i seriously miss sex!

We went to the dr yesterday and get told im 2 and 1/2cm dilated and my cervix is "thinning nicely" (whatever that means). So I tell DH that sex will help me progress in a few weeks if my body kinds stalls where it is. (DH thought that if im 2.5 now, ill have the baby in like a day... had to explain I could be this way for a while) So when I mention the sex thing his eyes bugged out of his head and he was like... but your dilated... i could touch the baby! Confused seriously?!?!?

So after that I have officially given up all hope of sex! I know It will get back to normal soon...

naenay797 · November 2010

I'm sorry all you ladies are having these problems. Mine is just the opposite. My DH woke me up at 4:30 this morning to have sex. Me being pregnant has had absolutely no effect on his sex drive.

BabyS2008 · November 2010

mrschahbar:
maryellen21:

Eh, I'm kind of in the same boat, but not just during pregnancy. I feel like DH has a lower sex drive to begin with so if we go a long time without having any, it's always ME that's worried that's worried about it...I feel like we're not "normal" or something.

Try doing everything but sex? Or find other ways to feel close to him. Good luck!

That's not just you. My DH and I are the same way. I guess it's not that he doesn't want to normally, he's just not really concerned about it. We could go a while without it and he'd be fine. So I always initiate things.

And being pregnant just makes it worse. Especially now that I'm at the end... as soon as the doctor said that he touched the baby's head DH is completely freaked out at the idea of having sex.

OMG this is us too! I always just assumed it cause we're not that 'experienced'! (We were each other's first and to be quite frank we haven't a clue what we're doing half the time lol...I guess we're doing something right since we have 2 kids lol).

Anyway, we can normally go a while without it...I guess it's good cause our relationship isn't just based on 'sex'. However, I hate feeling like I always have to initiate.

With being pregnant it's very uncomfortable for both of us. I just don't feel attractive at all and I feel like my body is not my own right now so it's just odd to try to have sex.

However, we are both definitely looking forward to 6 weeks after I give birth!!

BabyS2008 · November 2010

Sorry, double posted it.

MrsHollywood1023 · November 2010

I am soooo glad I'm not the only one going through this! My husband is the SAME way! The first and second trimester, we did it all the time. Then a few weeks ago my belly really popped out and LO started making more noticeable from the outside moves, he hasn't wanted to touch me since

It freaks him out being able to feel "his little girl" move while we are trying to have sex and is convinced she does it because she doesn't like it. Now, I'm all huge, my feet and ankles are swollen, my stomach is one giant stretch mark, I constantly smell like cocoa butter (he HATES that smell!), and I was put on antibiotics that I had a reaction to causing me to have a BM anywhere from 6 to 11 (yes...11) times a day for a week, so now I have stupid hemorrhoids. No wonder he isn't into it now but I want to feel sexy again darn it!!!!!!!

mimilynn04 · November 2010

I'm having this problem but only because everyone, including the doc, is telling him that we have to have sex. Now I have to beg for for it! I never thought that was gonna happen!

06162006bride · November 2010

Some men arent into preggos. Mine was not at all. Now that I had the baby and my milk has come in...my husband says me being a mom turns him on. I am sure yours will make up for it. I have to wait 6 weeks for my apology

)

Nurse122705 · November 2010

naenay797:
I'm sorry all you ladies are having these problems. Mine is just the opposite. My DH woke me up at 4:30 this morning to have sex. Me being pregnant has had absolutely no effect on his sex drive.

I'm in the same boat! DH sets his alarm clock early so we can have sex before he goes to work in the AM. He could care less about me being pregnant & is enjoying my bigger boobs.

Mrslovebugs · November 2010

I'm in the same boat. DH is totally freaked out by pg sex. He was fine the first half, then I would say then end of 2nd tri/beginning of 3rd he is not into it anymore. He is just totally weirded out by the fact that our daughter is in there. Doctor even told him it was okay, but he still won't touch me. It's VERY frustrating!

Mokosa · November 2010

ok it sux that we're on the same boat but it kinda makes me feel better i'm not the only one

bittersweet. good luck ladies!

Penguin81 · November 2010

naenay797:
I'm sorry all you ladies are having these problems. Mine is just the opposite. My DH woke me up at 4:30 this morning to have sex. Me being pregnant has had absolutely no effect on his sex drive.

Amen! But like other posters have said some men aren't into pregnant sex others are, at least mine is leaving me alone at 4:30am.... wait he's making me practice waking up a 2am LOL!

Things should eventually go back to pre-pregnancy drive maybe even higher when he looks at you like his sexy baby mama.

To all those beautiful mamas out there with frustrating DHs hang in there sisters and good luck!

Mama_SAS · November 2010

naenay797:
I'm sorry all you ladies are having these problems. Mine is just the opposite. My DH woke me up at 4:30 this morning to have sex. Me being pregnant has had absolutely no effect on his sex drive.

I would kill DH if he woke me up for anything except a house fire! I'm having so much trouble sleeping that if I'm actually out he has strict instructions to let me sleep.

That being said, DH's drive hasn't changed but my, um, abilities have due to all this damn pelvic pain. So actual sex has been limited but luckily there are other options.

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