Indiana Babies
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Those with 2U2 or about to have 2U2...
how did you decide?? I keep going back and forth on what we should do. We got pregnant right away like we had planned so I want to do this again but our original plan was to wait till after DS turns 2 and go from there hoping to have them 3 - 3.5 years apart but so many keep telling me...oh just get the 2nd one out of the way now!! thoughts???
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Re: Those with 2U2 or about to have 2U2...
Seems to me that not every 2U2 mama 'round these parts actually decided to go down that path...
Yes, Sarah, that was aimed at you!
I think you really have to go with your gut. What are the actual reasons you'd want to "get the 2nd one out of the way now"? Is it just baby fever, and if so, can you see past that to the actual heart of the matter?
My thought was that I wanted them aged close enough together that we could get through breastfeeding/diapers/baby phases without a huge gap in between (because it's hard to go back once life becomes cushy!), and also so that we could go on vacations/trips and do activities that both kids would enjoy.
My sister and I were 3 years apart, which was fine, but we wanted ours a little closer.
I thought it would take us longer to get pregnant this time. It didn't.
We're not quite 2u2 (Andrew will be acting somewhere between 2 and 2 1/4
) but this is our reasoning.
Also, with Andrew, it took us a year to get pregnant. I thought it would be faster, not quite that fast, but I like the idea of getting the newborn stage out of the way...it's not my fav for sure.
Also, we're not sure if we want a 3rd now or not. But, if we do, we'd rather I not be older than low-30's so this way we have some extra time if we want a 3rd.
Oh, and, I LIke the idea of being a SAHM now, but then once both kids are in school, going back to work in some capacity.
Ditto Lauren, follow your gut!
I like the idea of 2U2 but I think I may regret it at the same time. Right now I'm the breadwinner and probably always will be (I should never say never) but I have a business degree and DH has a teaching degree - you get the idea so I dont think I'll ever get to be a SAHM which is fine most of the time but I think I would miss out on alot of I had 2U2 and had to still had to work fulltime.
I like the idea of getting the baby stage out of the way but if we were to get preggers now DS would still be in the crib and we dont have the money for a 2nd right now. I guess logistically it would be hard in the beginning but later on it may be awesome to be done with diapers all together.
So exhausting to think about!!!
HAHA! Yea Jeremy would always say he was expecting to go 1.2.3. Not 1 and jump to 3. :-) I can not imagine my life though with out two. It feels weird when I just have one of them with me.
Our first initial plan was to wait until the child was 2 or start TTC again. DH wanted to get started too since Jordan at the time was 6. He liked the idea of the two other siblings to be close together in age. We knocked that out in one try. So now we are not even thinking about TTC. We may wait or we may just be done. Who knows. We thought about financially too. You just have to sit down and think about it all. My sister and I are 7 years apart and even though we did not hang out much during her early years, now we are best friends.
Oops, other Sarah (sarahann)...but your case applies as well! I didn't even think of twins as 2U2 until you responded. LOL!
It was an easy decision for us to have Collin (they are 22M apart). I know that I want to go back to work once they are in school, so the sooner we are finished having kids, the sooner I can go back to work. Also, I don't want to store baby stuff forever. It takes up a lot of room!!
There are pros and cons to having them close together or further apart. But from my experience, it hasn't been very difficult to have the kids this close together. It's MUCH harder now than it was a year ago or even 6 months ago, mainly because he's mobile and not a baby anymore. The baby stage was cake compared to now. I have kids going in different directions, jealousy is a bigger issue now (all from Katie), sharing is an issue - just all things kids go through and have to learn from. Logistically it takes longer to get them ready to go out, I lose my patience more than I used to. Katie has to be told 6 or 7 times to do something like putting on her shoes, while I get Collin ready.
Obviously, the more space between kids, the more independent the older child will be. Which is nice! However, that doesn't mean they won't act incapable of doing something so they can be a 'baby' too and in their minds, get more attention.
This is going to come off as extremely judgy. Bear with me.
If money's too tight for a 2nd crib, what on earth would you do with the eleventy billion other expenses that #2 would bring?
That was just the first thing that came to mind as far as logistically speaking. Money isnt that tight that we wouldnt be able to get a 2nd crib it's just would I really want two under two ...both in cribs?!?! scary to think about!
LOL! Too many Sarahs!
I agree with Lauren. I'm looking at another crib, a stroller, and misc things we have to buy that we previously borrowed...not to mention our medical bills are out the roof. I'm not complaining, but I think this should be considered. We are fortunate to be in a position in that we are prepared for it.
Exactly....I'm for sure a planner so I would want to be positioned in a way that it wouldnt be a financial strain so maybe I just answered my own question. With DS we for sure planned it and made sure we were prepared for bills etc and i dont think we would be ready right now for a 2nd one financially... obviously if it happened we would make it work but i'm too much of a planner to have a 2nd one by chance.
We wanted them close to two years apart so they'd always have a playmate. Jason and his sister are 18 months apart, and they enjoyed that age difference. My sister and I are 8 years apart, so I basically grew up an only child until that little punk entered my life and turned things upside down.
I have students who are close in age with their siblings, and it just melts my heart they way they are the best of friends.
Also, Claire was the best baby, so we got really spoiled. Hopefully #2 isn't the exact opposite, lol.
Christie -
You know the 2nd one will be the opposite...and I hope for my sake that the 2nd one is the opposite of clark for the first 3 months.....the crying 24/7 was enough to say I will never have another baby again. I can laugh about it now but omg!!
BAHAHA That is so true Lauren.
WE didn't decided to go this route but so far it is working for us. It's hard I'm not going to lie to you. Some days it really sucks and I want to go back to life with just Evie because it now seems so easy, but I wouldn't trade Nora for the world.
Late to this party but here's my reasoning for not having 2U2 now, because after L was born I was all about it.
BFing was hard and I became a SAHM, I can't imagine trying to BF a child like L, slow to eat and always wanting to comfort nurse- taking an hour usually, plus making sure L keeps out of stuff. I have already decided that if BFing is as hard to get going with #2 as with L that I will not fight it. I felt that once I decided to SAH, that I needed to make BFing work. That is not to say that I hated BFing, but I was secretly happy that it ended when it did. When we finished that stage I was happy to have my body not be life support for someone else and wanted some time off from that function.
We need a) a bigger/better car and b) a second car. While being a one car family for more than a year has not been very difficult, but It's certainly a convenience that we miss. And when you put the three of us, our dog, and stuff for us to be gone for much more than 2-3 days in our car we are at capacity.
The thought of buying diapers for two makes me want to vomit. I used to say that I didn't want to forget about buying diapers before the next LO comes along, but again it's a freedom that I now think I'd like to enjoy for awhile before going back.
Not that I wouldn't love and cherish another child but I enjoy the one on one time I get with L, especially now that I am back to work I love being able to just focus on her in the evening. Along the same lines, paying for 2 in daycare is frightening.
On the close "buddy" argument, I am 10 months older than my next sister and 6 years older than the second. I remember playing with J and ganging up on A with her but I never thought of us as close. We didn't even share the same friends. A and I are by far closer than J and I.
We originally said we wanted our kids close in age, but I think LO#2 will be a 2012 child, maybe 2013. If we get there and haven't had #2 by then we'll revisit making #2.
couldn't agree more with this. my bro (2 years younger) and I didn't get along at all and didn't play together by choice. I played much more with my little bro (6 years younger) and once my sister came along (14 yrs younger) we are the closest. :