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My 10 year old DD is autistic and we're expecting
I've found only a small amount of info on helping older children cope with the birth of a new baby, and I've found info on helping young autistic children cope, but never the two together. Does anyone have any advise?
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Re: My 10 year old DD is autistic and we're expecting
I think it greatly depends on the the degree of severity of your DD's autism. How does she generally deal with change to her routine? I know this is an issue for most autistic kids. My sister was an instructional aide for a high-functioning kid with autism in 2nd and 3rd grades. One thing my sister did to help her student was to talk over any changes and to "rehearse" what things would be like once the change occurred. For instance, the student was going to be a flower girl in her older sister's wedding. My sister talked about it with her every day for a few weeks leading up to the wedding. They pretended "wedding" and talked about what might happen. As can happen with kids "on the spectrum" this led to a daily, repetitive conversation about the wedding, but my sister felt that this repetitive chatter was vital to helping prepare the girl for the big event.
Your best resource for this might be a school counselor or another trusted professional with whom you and your DD have contact. They might have either more autism-specific advice, or more "big kid" advice.
Also, a good video about the subject is Sesame Street's Three Bears And A New Baby. It's excellent, and the main character, Baby Bear, is more like an older, school-aged kid than a toddler or preschooler. It covers all aspects of the experience, from who will watch him while Mama Bear is in the hospital, to visiting the hospital and meeting the baby, to his frustration with the changes in the family after the baby comes home, to eventual acceptance of the new family dynamic. My DD is 10, and she would not consider it too babyish for her at this point.
My hospital had an "older sibling" tour and class. Would something like that be appropriate for your DD, or would that be too much for her? If the idea of a tour seems positive, but sitting through a "class" would be a problem, maybe you can arrange a private tour.
Congrats and good luck!