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Parenting after 35
mtnrider
member
How did your mother demonstrate mommy fail?
mtnrider
member
With some of the things our mothers did to us, it's a wonder we ever survived! Apparently my mom left me in a pack n play far too long; one day when I was an older infant my mom's friend came over and asked whether I was crawling yet. My mom had no clue as she had never let me loose! So she took me out of the PnP and I crawled all over the house! (After hearing that story, I refused to ever use my PnP as a containment method for Simon.)
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Re: How did your mother demonstrate mommy fail?
Hm. I love my mom, and I think she rules, but she has had her moments...
She has narcolepsy, so this isn't really fair to call her on, but...
When I was about 2, and my mom was asleep (narcolepsy!) I took off all my clothes and ran out to play in the snow. An older sister found me in a snowdrift eating snow, no one knows how long I was out there.
When I was a baby: she fed me raw, sweetened oatmeal as a "treat." She didn't know that babies can't digest whole raw oats
As a toddler she led me sit in the back seat without a car seat.
As an older little kid she left me in the family Jeep while she ran into the post office. It was in neutral and I let the hand brake go. Mom came running out of the PO as I rolled down a (small) hill.
As a tween/teen, don't even get me started.
I adore my mom, but the 70's weren't a safety heyday.
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Whoa, Pepper! You were naked in the snow? Your mom must have felt awful (re: narcolepsy) about that.
Honestly my mom has forgotten most of my childhood. She basically says I was a good baby and if my brother had been born first, he'd have been any only child.
Though I do remember sitting in the back of the car without a car seat. But I don't think they advised them in the 70s after a certain age. My mom always made me wear a seat belt, though.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
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Once my mom and aunt lost me in the mall. After all the times they told me, "come on or we'll leave you", I was terrified they would go home without me. So I went to the car to wait for them, since I knew they couldn't leave without the car and I assumed they would know I would know where it was and at least check there. Made sense to me. Anyway, they had everyone looking for me in the mall looking for me INSIDE the mall. I thought I was prefectly clever, turns out I was " a bad, bad girl" and was punished..LOL Oh well, got to love the 70s.
And I never say that (threaten to leave them) to my kids.
Also, before every performance, after I practiced, prepared, and talked myself into my "good place" where I wasn't nervous, my mom would say right before I would go onstage..." Are you nervous????" Ummm, well I wasn't but NOW I am. I begged her not to say that to me, but she coudln't resist. I think she was living vicariously and what was terror she found "exciting"...
Even worse was, on my son's first performance when he was little, I did the same thing to him... Asked him if he was nervous because he looked so calm and I couldn't resist like I was programmed ( I know *dumbass*), OMG, then his little face fell and a look of abject terror crossed his face and I mentally reached out to take those words back and of course, couldn't. I spent the next 10 minutes telling him he was prepared and he would be great! Yeah, right... I never, ever, ever, ever did that again. Total mommy fail.
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My mom used to smoke with us in the car with her. So much so that, at night, I would ask her to twirl her cigarette so I could see how pretty it looked in the dark. Yeah. Like everyone else said - it was the seventies.
This wasn't my parents but my aunt/uncle. They were heavy drinkers and used to ask my cousin and me to bring them refills of wine. We played "waitress" and loved it. I remember because I figured it would be more effecient to fill the glass all the way up, rather than half way like it normally was. I still remember my Uncle LHFAO as I carefully brought him that glass of wine. Again, made perfect sense to me.
While we had a blast and thought it was great, in retrospect, it probably wasn't the best way to "entertain the kids".
My mother was never really all that interested in being a mom. More interested in going shopping and doing what she wanted. Rarely attended any events I was invovled in. Hated cooking, so she would pour a bowl of cereal for us. Hated housework, so unfortunately, I did get that from her. Just overall a not-so-great role model. And she's still pretty disinterested in anything that doesn't benefit her.
Sigh.
I'm sure there are some but I honestly don't know what they are. My mother is actually pretty great (I know how lucky I am). She breastfed me back when it wasn't the thing to do and my parents even had a carseat (early 70's). They had to special order it because you couldn't find them in stores back then.
I think the worst thing she did was instill bad eating habits. She is a traditional southern woman and cooks that way.
Yes the 70s and their lack of safety concerns. Hmm let's see.
1. No seat belt
2. She smoked around me and my brother until she quit when I was ten
3. Oh this is priceless, if my brother and I were fighting she would threaten to drive us to the abandoned house in our town and leave us there!!!
4. She let me eat the most unhealthy foods. There is a photograph of me eating a spoonful of sugar with a stack of oreo cookies next to it.
5. She would do the typical 60s-70s housewife thing, sitting at the kitchen counter in her house coat smoking, drinking coffee, and talking on the phone with her friends. If she wanted me to be quiet or to bring her something she would snap her fingers at me. I hated that.
Wow that sounds horrible but I know she loved/loves me.
First of all, I couldn't have asked for better parents. My brother, sister and I were very much loved and had a very happy childhood....although:
No seat belts or car seats. I fell out of a car when I was 4..luckily it was just in the driveway, but I guess there were no child safety locks on the doors back then either. However details are blurry when I ask how it happened
My parents did smoke in the car, in the house without any thought. I was infatuated with cigarettes. Even our babysitter smoked around us. My sister and I used to pretend we were smoking, no surprise that both of us a former smokers.