Upset and lonely Dh vent long

sparklesbrooks · November 2010

Lately, anytime I ask dh to rub or massage my aching body parts it leads to be big argument. Either he complains that its not a good time for him or he half*ss does it for 3 mins and then stops. Then if I ask him to keep going or rub a little more in this spot, all of a sudden I'm b*itching. For instance today he wanted some loving but I really wasn't feeling it since we just ate but we proceeded. Afterwards, I ask him to rub my legs cuz they were sore. He then tells me no because we need to get dressed. I got irritated and rolled over. Then all of a sudden he wants to "cuddle" and tries to get me to lay on my back so he can lay on me. When I say no its not comfortable and refuse then I'm being b*itchy again. So now he's giving me the silent treatment saying he's tired of my crap. I'm so upset and feel so alone... Sorry its so long ladies but I needed to vent...

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kpmd1 · November 2010

Does he ever want to have sex again? Does he ever want to have more kids? If the answer to either of those is yes, then he needs to quit whining and help you out!

pawcall · November 2010

I'm sorry you have to deal with his crap. Some men (my husband included) don't seem to handle pregnancy well and morph into insensitive asshats. Hopefully for your husband its a passing thing

Feel free to vent anytime you need to...

girllennon · November 2010

Sorry your DH is behaving like a moody teenager. He really needs to wake up and realize 1) you're pregnant and 2) it's not all about him. Strap on 25 lbs worth or crap to his belly and see how he likes walking around with all the joys of back pain, aching joints and swelling.

I don't meant to be snarky, but your DH is being an A$$.

racheldaigle46 · November 2010

Ugh! Men!! They hae NO idea what kind of stress this baby puts on our bodies!! If our DH's were the ones carrying a LO, THEY would be the ones b*itching and complaining all the time!

sandylou · November 2010

I'm sorry you DH is being insensitive! Maybe the two of you can sit down together and you can tell him how you feel.

nkubon · November 2010

You are not alone. My DH has been just like this. It sucks, hurts and you feel all alone - I understand. I don't have much advice for you because I feel the same way - but what I've been doing is talking to my friends and family more and more and taking time for myself, bubble baths, etc. I hope things get better!

stbmittleman · November 2010

Parts of that sound like my husband. He hates giving massages and foot rubs and it took me a few years, but I finally figured out it's because he hates getting them and doesn't see why I like them and (while pregnant) need them. We've come to an agreement though that if I want or need a massage and he's not willing to give it to me, I'll go pay a massage therapist to do it. I also went out and bought a foot massager and he knew he wasn't allowed to say anything about the purchase because he won't do it. I'm sorry your husband is being a jerk. The silent treatment is really not necessary and childish. I'm with some of the ladies here, just talk to him about how you feel.

beautifulsin90 · November 2010

kpmd1:
Does he ever want to have sex again? Does he ever want to have more kids? If the answer to either of those is yes, then he needs to quit whining and help you out!

My thoughts exactly. What does he think you are a pillow? Not only are you carrying his child but he thinks you want his butt on you to. Wow I am so sorry if my DH ever acted like that him and his hand would be good friends for a long time!!!

Don't feel bad about your vent being long you can vent anytime you want that is what we are here for is support and someone to listen.

greenroses · November 2010

racheldaigle46:
If our DH's were the ones carrying a LO, THEY would be the ones b*itching and complaining all the time!

this is SO true. i cannot imagine what it would be like if men got pregnant. oh my goodness, the whining ...

vivere_ridere_amore · November 2010

ugh...I don't think my DH would have gotten any had he been acting like that. I don't think men realize exactly what being pregnant is like. My husband is very understanding and very protective but he always say how woman make comments about men not being able to do what we do and how the world would not be repopulated if men had to do it are crazy comments. He says "we could do it, it's not that bad, your just being dramatic." I really wish men could get pregnant and realize just half of how hard this is. I just laugh and tell him too bad when he complains about not getting sex anymore. lol. and he still rubbs or pops my back for me and is constantly asking if I am ok. My husband is sincerely smart enough to know not to piss me off though. lol. still men are just a whole different kind of creature and having their wives pregnant for some reason turns them into irrational little boys.

sparklesbrooks · November 2010

Thanks for listening ladies. We kind of talked through things but when I tried to tell him how I felt he just didn't understand. And today all he has done was try and have sex. I told him I'm not inthe mood and might not be for a while. I've just come to realize that he just doesn't understand what it's like and will never get it. Hopefully after little one is here things wil go back to normal.