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Birthday party guests - opinions

SurfinbrideSurfinbride
in School-Aged Children

I can't decide what to do this year. Help! 

My daughter will be 9. She wants a small slumber party with her best friends from school. However, other friends know her birthday is coming up. Should I have a separate party to include them?

In preschool, the rule was invite all or none. We invited everyone. In kindergarten, the only rule was that we mailed invitations rather than distribute them to the class. That brought about all-girl parties for 2 years. Last year, my daughter had a swimming and slumber party. She only wanted her very best friends. I was worried that there would be hurt feelings, but it worked out well. This year, she wants the same party... with the same friends... but, her best friend will be out of town.

I'm struggling to figure out what to do, because no plan seems perfect.

Ideas? Opinions?

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Newlyweds since 2007
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Re: Birthday party guests - opinions

  • ValAndRyanValAndRyan
    If your daughter only wants certain friends for a slumber party, I would mail the invitations to them and not worry about having another party. As they get older, these kind of parties start to happen. Just make sure to tell your dd not to talk about the party around the other girls.
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    If it was me, I would let my DD make me be the bad guy.  If one of her friends asks why they're not invited, she should tell her that her mom only allowed her to invite X friends to her slumber party.  I think most kids understand that slumber parties have to be limited.  But, if you can handle a few more kids, I would try to get her to invite them too.  Maybe explain to her how she would feel if she was left out.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • littlemermaidlittlemermaid member
    Your daughter is a year younger than my oldest.  Most of the kids have smaller parties but kids, as you know can't keep secrets like this, so of course those not invited do get hurt feelings.  I would keep it either real simple, slumber party with just her best friend(so 1 or 2 people over) or make it where she can invite all the girls.  At her age the boys aren't going to care if their invited, it's the girls that care.
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    It is perfectly acceptable for later elementary school kids to have a small party with only best friends.  Mail the invites to kids' homes rather than having your DD hand them out in the classroom.

    School your daughter in keeping the birthday plans discreet.  My DD kind of screwed up this year and talked at school about her party before the invites went out.  It caused some angst among the outer-circle friends about whether they'd be invited or not.  DD learned a valuable lesson about being more discreet. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • SurfinbrideSurfinbride

    Thanks, everyone. I'm going with one party and feel much more relaxed.

     

    image
    Newlyweds since 2007
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