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gender anxiety

slamsterslamster
in 2nd Trimester
Does anyone else out there have gender anxiety?  I am pregnant with #2 (we have an amazing three year old boy) and I am hoping for a girl this time.  It is starting to stress me out.  We found out the gender our first time around, but I have decided not to find out this time because I think just having a beautiful baby in my arms is the best way to find out.  Is anyone else going through this and what are you doing to cope?
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Re: gender anxiety

  • klibby707klibby707 member
    I feel that I kind of have a preference, but then I think of how many people who want kids but can't have kids or how I just want a healthy baby.  I quickly get over it.  So, that helps...just thinking how lucky and blessed I am.
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  • elisbuelisbu member
    I used to want a girl, then someone gave me a box full of newborn boy clothes, they were so cute!! that then I wanted a boy. Now I don't care!
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  • penguin-kissespenguin-kisses

    I wouldn't go so far as to say I suffered any level of anxiety over what sex my baby was going to be. I hoped for a girl but wasn't terribly broken up about finding out I'm having another son and I'm really excited about it.

    Honestly, how I dealt with it? I was told my baby might have Down's Syndrome and then had to wait 6 weeks for the amnio results to find out if he was going to be healthy. When they gave me the good news that he was, they then told me I was having a boy and any disappointment I could ever have felt for not having a girl didn't even have a chance to surface. Puts things in perspective a bit.

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  • slamsterslamster
    Thanks for sharing your story, Penguin.  It really puts things in perspective.  I think that is why I don't want to find out ahead of time.  I guess I feel like we decided to have another baby...not to have a girl.  I know that what I truly want is to gaze into my healthy baby's eyes and hold my baby in my arms.
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  • armandos_girlarmandos_girl member

    I had some gender anxiety with my first, just because I wasn't sure what I'd do with a boy.  I guess I was kind of the opposite of you, I decided to find out the sex because I had gender anxiety.  I wanted to have that time to prepare myself and warm up to the idea of having a boy.  I didn't want to take the chance that the first moments with my baby might be clouded with disappointment or negative emotions.

    This time around, it's completely different.  I adore being a mom to a boy and I'd love it if baby#2 is a boy (we find out tomorrow!)  I'll also be excited if it is a girl as well.

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  • rowanthefrogrowanthefrog member

    After everything we went through to get successfully pg this time, I'm just grateful that there is still a baby in my belly.

    I won't lie, there was a part of me hoping for a girl, and I was nervous I might be disappointed if I found out it was a boy, but when I found out that we are having another son, I was just happy that he's there and not disappointed in the slightest.


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  • vtkgirl77vtkgirl77
    I actually try not to think about sex of the baby because I don't want to envision things either way. I know I will be thrilled with whatever God gives me so I am trying not to let my mind get set on thinking or wanting one or the other. With that being said, I will definitely be finding out the sex at my 20 week US. I feel like it helps me bond more once I find out the sex so that I can start planning, buying clothes, and imagining them as my little boy or little girl.
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  • slamsterslamster
    These are some very interesting perspectives.  Thank you for sharing.  My plan of waiting to find out until the baby is born is based on the thought that the overwhelming joy of holding my baby in my arms will totally overshadow any gender disappointment.  But every now and then I think, well, maybe I'll wait until week 39 and then call the doctor and find out.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see how much will power I have.  DH really wants to know!
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