Christmas

ColindaP · November 2010

Can suck a _cock this year. DH is happy, he asked me if we're doing Christmas lights this year. I said "Ehh. Whatever. I don't care." He's happy to get out of it.

Last year at the end of November, we had just come back from South America, our "we keep putting off this expensive trip, but it'll be the ultimate retail therapy after mc #3" trip. I was about to have an HSG done, and then was referred to the RE. We had our first appt with him at the beginning on December, and things seemed hopeful. We decided Christmas would be another great distraction like our trip was, and we went whole hog on lights and a real (and enormous) tree. I did my baking extravaganza, spent way too much time decorating the cutest.cakeballs.ever. We were all about finding cheer.

This year, fvck it. Fvck it all. We were harshly snapped back to reality last year around New Year's, so I'm just not going to bother trying to use the holiday season to lift my spirits again. Fvck Christmas. Fvck 2010. And 2009. Anger, misery and depression are where it's at.

I ate pizza for dinner. I really should not be this Debbie Downer tonight.

Gummybear · November 2010

I'm sorry Colinda. We've had a terrible year as well, and I can't wait for it to be over. It sucks when you look back at how optimistic you were only to have more crushing news and defeats constantly tearing you down.

I really hope that the new year brings only good things for you.

VeilSdeGTO · November 2010

I'm sorry, sweetie. The holidays are a downer for us too, two years in a row now. I keep thinking next year will be better, but probably not.

I hear alcohol helps. ((hugs))

KristysRedBarn · November 2010

We official started trying again in April. I was SURE we would have an announcement to make this Christmas. I mean, yeah, we've been trying for 5 years, but this was going to be different, right? I was delusional. I'm feeling rather anti-Christmas myself. Hugs.

jillcanada · November 2010

Ugh, it's been a hard year indeed. Do what you need to do to get through the holidays. Let's hope 2011 is a better year for everyone. Hugs.

grr_aargh · November 2010

I'd say you're allowed. I suspect you're just looking to put the nails in the coffin of this year and NOBODY should blame you.

I'm sorry.

Leave the cheer to the cheery. You, have some eggnog. With rum.

Ashley858 · November 2010

I'm sorry. It is completely understandable thought. I agree with grr Eggnog with rum!

hbkises · November 2010

I could honestly care less about the holidays. Eff it all. I'd love to skip the whole damn season this year. Wow, could I be more Grinch-like?

colinda, i'm so sorry. I pray that next year is full of wonderful things for you!

AppleRidge · November 2010

Cheery or not, Christmassy or not, I hope the end of this year means the end of the epic shitstorm that has sat overhead for so long.

My Christmas cards this year contain the first line from this excerpt of Ulysses. Pretty fitting for the years we've had, and the years to come.

...Come, my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

surfergirlkona · November 2010

I hope the end of 2010 brings closure to such shitastic days. I don't blame you one bit, fvck the holidays and everyones insincere joy. Love you

millejj1 · November 2010

I'm so sorry.

Olive44 · November 2010

I'm sorry, hon. I'm dreading the holidays as well. I wish we could just fast forward right through them.

CashewsMommy · November 2010

I totally agree. I could care less if the holidays come at all. Here's to 2011 being better for all of us!

Court1 · November 2010

I'm sorry. And I feel your pain. I'd like to fast forward through the holidays.

EntropicEpona · November 2010

Yup. Christmas can suck a nut this year.

Usually, I go all out. Big, fancy tree, plenty of lush decorations, lots of cheer. This year? Nothing. I'm not doing it. I've spent so much time taking care of everyone else at Christmas, making sure they're all happy and comfortable and well taken care of, and I just cannot do it this year. I don't care what anyone thinks. This year *I* need to be taken care of.

So, Christmas is cancelled at the Livingston's. Dissenters can choke on a fvcking candy cane.

mdm2137 · November 2010

I'm sorry Colinda. I wish we could all get together and celebrate non-Christmas. We could get drunk and eat cakeballs.

hoping&waiting · November 2010

(((Hugs))). I really hope 2011 treats you better.

babes12 · November 2010

i'm sorry. I wish it wasn't like this. (((hugs)))

dondraandluis · November 2010

I can totally relate to that feeling. I'm sorry you are having a rough time (((HUGS)))

butterfly843 · November 2010

((hugs)) I would love to skip ahead to 2011. Last year we completely skipped christmas, didn't decorate or anything. This year I'm going in the opposite direction and decorating like crazy and we are hosting a christmas party like we used to always host. But if I could just change the calendar to January, it would be so much easier because I feel like I'm forcing myself into the holiday spirit and wishes it could be like when I loved christmas.

cutebride73 · November 2010

Yeah, 2010 pretty much sucked the big one for me too. Seriously, the end of 2009 I was stressed that we hadn't conceived yet (last December was 6 months TTC), but I was hopeful that we would get something good in the New Year. Now 3 losses later and I am facing IVF in the New Year. Me and my old eggs just haven't cut it on our own. I am still holding on to our holiday traditions though - it's all I feel like I have at this point. It's just nothing like I thought it would be.

michrocc · November 2010

Colinda, I am right there with you on this whole Christmas thing. Sadly, I remember how we all proclaimed 2010 to be our year...and it's so not.

triple_sevens · November 2010

Jeez, 2009 and 2010 have really sucked ***, haven't they?

I'm still going to do the tree-trimming and holiday baking routine because it will make me a little happy rather than wrist-slittingly miserable, so there's that. But I get you. As always.

ColindaP · November 2010

triple_sevens:
Jeez, 2009 and 2010 have really sucked ***, haven't they?
I'm still going to do the tree-trimming and holiday baking routine because it will make me a little happy rather than wrist-slittingly miserable, so there's that. But I get you. As always.

I love you.

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