when did you/will you tell?
LauraLynneC
member
At what point are you spreading the news? And in what order? Does it matter in your family?
I'm 12 weeks on Christmas day and have all sorts of fun ideas in mind. There's a few people I might tell earlier - both of my BFF probably (one has a toddler who may be growing out of a potential hand me down crib!).
I have to tread lightly in my family who knows first etc - long story but basically they're all crazy. I'm also worried that my freshly married cousin will announce a pregnancy around the same time and I feel like I'd be taking some of the wind out of their sails (this would be their first if they get pregnant soon - the plan was wedding then a 2 month honeymoon with the very public notice that they are TTC ASAP).
My DH's family is going to be downers about the news. I already know it - my MIL told me I was "effing stupid" to even consider pregnancy. Ya. Thanks.
But I'm bursting at the seams waiting to tell people - nervous on one hand, dropping hints on the other. And while it seems completely obvious to me that I'm about to barf at any moment, nobody seems to have caught on.
We'll see if I can hold out until the holidays.
What's YOUR plan (or when did you tell?)
LauraLynne
Re: when did you/will you tell?
We told our mothers the day after we got the BFP. I also told my BFF that day (she's also pregnant and a few weeks ahead of me and we were TTC buddies as well). By the next week we had told our fathers and it took about two weeks to tell all of DH's sisters. I told my sisters, a cousin and a close uncle the week after I found out because I was visiting them across the country and wanted to tell them in person. If I wasn't going to see them I would have waited to tell the cousin and uncle. These were all people we felt would be supportive of us no matter what happened.
After that we waited until we saw the heartbeat at the 8 week ultrasound to tell a few more extended family, a couple of close cousins and an aunt. I told my supervisor (who just got off of maternity leave) and a couple other close co-workers as well.
I'll be almost 14 weeks at Thanksgiving, so we'll go public with the rest of the family and close friends then (probably via email since everyone is super spread out). I'm also planning to tell work, as it's getting harder to hide the bump. I might wait until my 16-week OB appointment to come out on Facebook.
So, in sum, we're doing a slow roll-out of the news. I don't think there will be much drama about who finds out when in our family, but then, most of the crucial people already know.
photo by Scott Metzger
kikijbird ~ Erica (aka Kiki) & Paul ~ 24 April 2010
The JBirds Bio ~ Updated 03.02.10 - Invites!
With my DD I didn't tell anyone in 18 weeks! I had a lot of bleeding and wanted to wait until after my amnio (which I had late because of the bleeding). It wasn't too hard to hide because it was winter so I wore lots of baggy sweaters, blazers open, etc. With this pregnancy I'll be 11 and 1/2 weeks at Thanksgiving but will probably have to wait until after Christmas to tell everyone because I want to wait until after my amnio. I may do a CVS instead...not sure yet. But I'm only 10 weeks and I swear I'm already showing...my stomach has definately popped out....so I don't know how long I'll be able to hide it. Oh well, people may have to just think I've chunked out.
With my first, we told our families at Christmas even though I was only 8 weeks. I'd had a viability ultrasound at 6 weeks. I didn't tell most of my friends until I hit the 2nd tri. And didn't tell work until after the 2nd part of my sequential screen in the 2nd tri.
With this one, we told our families at 12 weeks when we had both families together for a birthday celebration. I told friends and work around 14-15 weeks.
Have fun telling everyone. I wouldn't worry about stealing any thunder away from your cousin. This is your time to get some attention!
We had to tell my dad when I was about 10 weeks along because he came to town for a visit and I didn't want to lie about why my husband and I were both at my doctor's appointment. We told my mother-in-law the night before and my sister found out that evening. So only immediate family knew before the end of the first trimester. I told my boss at about 13-14 weeks because I wanted to avoid her hearing about it from someone else first. We told our friends individually over the course of many weeks as we talked to them. I felt really tentative about telling people before we had good test results back. If my dad hadn't come to visit I probably would have kept it quiet until we had our amnio results back. We've never said anything about the baby on Facebook so there are a bunch of people who will be very surprised when we put up a picture of our new addition in December.
We told my Mom just before Halloween and it was fun! She had 3 pumpkins and they were ready to be cut. My DD was saying Mommy pumpkin, Daddy pumpkin and a (her name) pumpkin. I asked my Mom if the pumpkins represented my family and she said yeah huh... I responded with you better get one more baby pumpkin. You should have seen her face it was priceless.
I told my sister, niece, brothers and swore them to keep it quiet and they have been awesome not telling a soul and not publishing it on facebook. I guess it's going to come out sooner since no one can keep it quiet this long, lol.
The ILs were all told together because MIL loves to spoil the moment. Since DHs family is small we made sure they were all together when we told with DD and now with this lil one making it fair all knew at the same time.
We've been rolling out the news very gradually. At this point (14 weeks) there are still many members of my family who do not know (they will find out at Christmas) and we haven't told any friends/coworkers. I'm holding off on notifying HR until at least January. DH's family was notified recently because we're spending Thanksgiving with most of them and didn't want the added excitement (yes we're weird) of a live announcement.
I expect everyone to be excited and happy. That's not an issue. But I also expect a lot of unsolicited advice, opinions, and demands so we're putting that off as long as possible.
I've told my BFF and that's it so far. We plan to tell everyone else at 12 weeks.