just need to vent

DS is only a week old, and I'm extremely exhausted, so I don't know if what I'm feeling is related to that or if I'm headed for ppd again.  I had it really bad with DD, and it lasted 10 months.  I keep thinking I messed up my family having another kid, I yell at DD all day long (it seems) for her acting up, and I'm having a hard time connecting with DS.  He cries all night, and I'm completely overwhelmed.  I feel like I was at a pretty good place before DS got here, and now I feel all gloomy and just like a huge weight is on my shoulders.  I feel like there is nothing to look forward to.  On top of it all, my DH has had some health issues pop up this past week, so he has been in and out of the hospital and when he's home, he's in pain or sick.  So basically, I've been taking care of both kids pretty much alone.  I don't have any family close, and my closest friend is over an hour away. 

I'm planning on calling my doctor Monday cuz I can't go through this again like I did with DD.  I waited too long to get help with her, and I was a mess.  I just had to get this out, to people that actually know what it feels like to go through it.  Thanks for reading.