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3rd Trimester
mrsdchastain
member
Naming MY baby
mrsdchastain
member
I saw an earlier post and thought about this.
When my husband and I were thinking about names, we had A LOT of unwanted feedback and ideas for names. My SIL would say she didn't like names and then when she told me the name she had picked out if she ever had a little girl (she isn't preggo) and I said I didn't like it, she flipped out and got mad. And I asked her well how did she think she was making me feel and she got even more mad. Plus one of our friends had a daughter in March and they named her Elizabeth, I have loved the name we picked since I was 9. And I actually had another friend (not even the same couple) tell me she thought that I was stealing their name and I should change it. How can someone say you stole the name Elizabeth? It's not like it's this original name, it's classic!
So I was just curious, why do people think that they have the right to name your baby? My MIL always mentioned it and we honestly tried to avoid talking about to others because we felt it wasn't their decision and we didn't really want their oppinions. And the name we had picked out for a boy (which we still plan on using if we ever have a boy), was bashed by my MIL until I explained it was after my father (he passed away from colon cancer in July).
I just don't get it....
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Re: Naming MY baby
I completely know what you mean. My FIL asked what we were thinking of naming the baby, and when we told him, he said "You know she's going to have to live with that name." Well..yeah she will. Then we told him one of our other options, and he said - OH! that's beautiful and feminine- you should name her that! Then he told us what middle name we should give the baby, and started calling the baby by the name and middle name that *he* liked.
From that point on, when ppl ask what we're naming the baby, I just say - don't know.
Ive been told "Riley" is a dog's name. Hmm, last I checked it has Irish heritage and Im pretty sure people have been naming boys and girls "Riley" long before hand:/ I know its a popular name too but we feel in love with it and cannot let it go. So Riley Ann is going to be her name and Warren Everett shall be his (if we have another little boy) Im sorry people are so selfish and think that we NEED their inputs on making a lifetime decsion for our child. (unless they deciced to rename later in life)
Just for laughs my childhood dog who's still around is named Bonnie Lou. My MIL is also named Bonnie Lou.
My MIL decided she didn't like the name we picked for a girl because she couldn't give her a cool nickname, so she picked out a really stupid nickname and would constantly call the baby by it. I was so relieved when we found out it was a boy and we wouldn't have to listen to her go on about it.
We then didn't tell anyone the sex nor any possible names we might use. Saves unwanted opinions and all that cr@p. It will be too late for their input when Jamie is born and we reveal his name. He will be officially named 'James' because its a name he can grow with, but Jamie as a nickname that we will probably use more.
This is why I don't tell anyone what names we're thinking of. First I don't want to debate it or justify it to anyone. Second I don't want to hear that you knew some slut with that name 30 years ago (or any other negative connection). It doesn't matter to me. I love her name, I've loved her name for a long time, and if you don't then you can suck it.
(The 'you' is usually my mother, but includes anyone else who feels the need to suggest names because we're not sharing.)
AMEN! We have been told by so many people that they had a dog/cat/rat/bird/ect with the name Cooper. We have also had the family members who think Cooper-Pooper is the "greatest" nickname ever.
Cooper James hold a huge amount of significance to my DH and I. Next time around we will just keep the name to ourselves.
I'm sorry people think they can name YOUR child. I find this VERY annoying, especially because it seems like some people feel entitled to such a privilege. IMO if they want to name a baby, they should have one of their own. My DH and I struggled to get pregnant with LO and I feel that after all we went through, only WE have a say in what we want to name her and how we want to raise her.
I developed a dislike for my SIL shortly after we announced our pregnancy because she thought it was ok for her to try to name my child every time we saw her. It's not very often because she is a holiday only relative, but then she started texting DH. She started throwing out some (IMO hideous names). I constantly had to tell her that it was OUR baby and that only WE (DH and I) would have a say in his/her name. This didn't stop her AND her husband from texting name suggestions (none of which I liked).
Once we found out we were having a girl, it took my husband and I a long time to agree on a name (neither one of us gave any suggestions the other hated, but we just couldn't agree on "the one") so when we finally came to a decision, we agreed to keep it a secret. Eventually SIL got the hint and stopped sharing her suggestions (that and her step daughter was pregnant too so she probably started giving HER suggestions). My daughter will be born on Monday and that is when we will share her name with everyone.
My rule of thumb is that if you don't want your name choice to be debated, don't discuss it with anyone except DH. It is your child, and the two of you choose the name. If someone asks mention that you two are still discussing and it will be revealed after the child's birth. Some people just need to put their two cents in when they have an opinion about something and that will never change.
We did tell everyone our name, but I kinda knew everyone would like it so I didn't mind. The only 'non-positive' response was from DH grandmom, and it wasn't even that bad. She basically said 'good luck getting her to spell it because it is so long.' (7 letter first and middle name and 9 letter last name). She did like the name overall though.
When I had DD's name picked out everyone thought the middle name I picked was ridiculous. Allison Jade.... and my then boyfriends mom wanted me to name her Allison Catherine so she could call her Ally Cat... REALLY? Those nasty little creatures that crawl in and out of dumpsters eating trash and rats? Or the street hookers? LOL People are stupid!
With this LO we haven't made a final decision so it has been easier to tell everyone that then hear all of their input.
I hate that people always want a say. I work at a middle school and all the children want to try to name the baby along with all the teachers and everyone else that speaks to me and DH. I think that opinions are like a-holes and everyone has and when you are trying to name your baby everyone becomes an a-hole.
This is why we refuse to tell anyone our name! I can tell you guys because I don't know you and I told a stranger who asked at the store one day.
It's hard to keep a secret for this long, but worth not hearing the comments and "advice". It bugs my MIL in so much that we played "name the baby" at my baby shower...she had everyone write down their prefered names for our baby! It's a good thing I love her!
Oh, and I agree, you can't "steal" Elizabeth! It's not an unusual name that they "thought up" on their own. It's one my favorites by the way, good choice!
I'm right there with ya hun! I too have had sisters, cousins, etc who aren't preggo "claiming names", and when we started telling people names we were thinking we got all of this criticism. MY baby- not yours! So now we have finalized a name and we aren't telling a soul. Everyone is trying to guess and complaining that they don't know what it is, but I don't give a damn. lol. And just because I can tell everyone on here, her name is Aubrie Lynn.
Find a name, and Keep it a secret!
Aubrie Lynn is very cute.
DH and I are trying to do something with my middle name (Ryan) and his middle name (Lynn). We are stuck between two name choices and are not telling anyone because I will get really mad if I decide to name my daughter Ryan (with a more girly spelling) and someone says something. lol
Exactly this!! We haven't told anyone our names, nor do we plan to until she's born!
Ooooh I wanted to name my daughter Ryenne so bad! But then she turned out to be a he and he turned out to be a Colson : )
Yeah, I love Ryan Lynn as a name for a girl. The other name is a combination of Ryan and Lynn, Rylynn. But I like other spellings for the name. DH really likes this spelling Rhlynn but I think it may need an "i" or "y" after the h....but I could just be crazy.
Unfortunately it'll never change. You're always going to get those people who think that their opinion matters.
When people ask me if we're telling the names we picked I always say "Of course, we don't care what anyone else thinks so we have no problem sharing". That totally puts a cork in an opinions they might have, lol.
My FIL did not talk to us for several weeks because we did not ask him what we should name the baby. Tough sh!t dude.
We recently decided to change our boys name and are not telling anyone. I don't want opinions this late in the game. My mom and sister have been giving me a lot of grief over the change because they liked the first name, but I keep telling them that this is our baby to name.
Oh, and as far as stupid nicknames go, I may just square up on FIL if he insists on a dumb @ss one - like Booger Butt.
I like that people have an opinion!
i want people to like the name, and I want my closest relatives to have some input! (I really don't want to name my baby after my mothers' slutty highschool nemesis or the same name as some person who hurt the family.....(just made up examples, but...)
on the other hand my MIL was suggesting middle names so that we could nn her "addie" and i cringed......yeah it would be after someone but we would just look like fools in a sea of "maddie" and "addy" screams on the playground.
So far everyone has loved LO's name (except someone in a birthing class...but she doesn't even count....she was the girl in class slapping her husband, cried during the visualizations seminar, who at 27 weeks hasn't heard of RLP, and pulled up her shirt and asked if she would get bigger....then squealed like a 6 year old and clapped "yay" )
We got the same thing from people. My SIL told me infront of everyone that she didnt like the name we picked, we picked Evelyn Joyce after my grandma. So I told her that I didnt like her kids names infront of everyone. My nephews are 1&3 & I really dont care for the names she picked but I never said that to her ill now.Her face got so red & of course she was a b*tch to me about what I said for a few weeks, but it made me feel so good to say what I said & no one in the DH fam has said anything to us about the name we picked since.
My mom told me to say this if someone being rude for whatever reason about you pregnancy "Well since yor being rude then Im going to ask you when are you going to lose 20lbs". She said she did that when she was prego with me & the lady about died!
My inlaws keep trying to get us to name the baby after my fil. Dh also has his name as his middle name. My fil is a crabby old jerk. I'm not naming my baby after him. I'm also due on my fils birthday and I'm really hoping they don't share a birthday...isn't that silly!
I keep telling them I'm not naming him Robert! My bil even piped in and I told him to shut it. He has 2 sons and neither one of them are named Robert, so I told him if he liked the name so much he could name his next kid Robert.
Sorry. Didn't mean to go on my own little tangent there. They are just really annoying me!