NBR- Why are there so many mean and judgmental posters?

Happy2bmommie · November 2010

I don't mean to sound mean and judgmental, but I really hate how many posters on here are mean and judgmental when it comes to others' posts. First of all, what the hell? And secondly, aren't we all here for the same reason? We're all pregnant and we're all seeking advice, companionship, some understanding? I remember one of my first posts on here, someone just lit into me about a possible path i was contemplating to take. If someone's post offends you so much, don't bother comment on it. This is the time to think that if you have nothing nice to say, it's better to not say anything at all. I'm sorry if I sound preachy, but I just finished reading a story that i believed was sad. YES, if I wanted to, I could dissect it and analyze it and find fault with its posters' decisions, but the truth is, the poster is telling us the story because she wants someone to listen. Don't attack people's choices unless it is to throw their baby off the balcony. How much they spent, took off from work, ate, cried isn't really up for you to judge. You are however welcome to offer sympathy, companionship or advice. But please, stop trolling people's posts and attacking how much they spent on a coming home outfit, or what brand they figured was better for their baby. There are-sadly-much more important and grave issues in this world, that it's hardly worth it to waste your breath and time online attacking someone's hair color choice. Peace.

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....

Someone get the popcorn!

*In before the Mean Girls references start!

Hyfagal · November 2010

I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.

You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

spursgirl10 · November 2010

Great. Now I want popcorn and I'm out. Crying

Happy2bmommie · November 2010

Hyfagal:
I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.
You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?

CheyenneShaw · November 2010

Happy2bMommie:
Don't attack people's choices unless it is to throw their baby off the balcony.

Wait... We aren't supposed to do that? I thought if they had a parachute it'd be okay.

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

spursgirl10:
Great. Now I want popcorn and I'm out.

I bring you popcorn AND a drink!

KelleyBelly11 · November 2010

Haha! :-)

Because not everyone in the world is nice and there's no way people are going to change just because they are on thebump.

I've thought this many times and I have learned to ignore what needs to be ignored.

Good Luck and don't let people ruin thebump for you.

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

Happy2bMommie:
There are-sadly-much more important and grave issues in this world, that it's hardly worth it to waste your breath and time online attacking someone's hair color choice. Peace.

Happy2bMommie:

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?

You sound like a moron. When has ANYONE ever cared what hair color someone uses or what shoes they buy?

NO ONE CARES!!! You're making no sense with this random sunshine-bear crap.

WannaBeCrunchyMama · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
spursgirl10:
Great. Now I want popcorn and I'm out.
I bring you popcorn AND a drink!

It better have some alcohol in it.

CheyenneShaw · November 2010

Happy2bMommie:
Hyfagal:
I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.
You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?

Practice what you preach....

spursgirl10 · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
spursgirl10:

Great. Now I want popcorn and I'm out.

I bring you popcorn AND a drink!

LOL. A can of coke please!

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

This should have been posted during prime time. We could have had so much more fun.

Happy2bmommie · November 2010

KelleyBelly11:
Haha! :-)
Because not everyone in the world is nice and there's no way people are going to change just because they are on thebump.
I've thought this many times and I have learned to ignore what needs to be ignored.
Good Luck and don't let people ruin thebump for you.

Thanks, this is actually not about me. I don't care if people are mean to me, they know crap about me, so their judgement means nothing. But I was reading the vent post from the lady that had a disappointing shower due to her mom's actions and was appalled at how horrible some people were.

HailsLyrics · November 2010

Happy2bMommie:
Hyfagal:

I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.

You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?

I'm a lurker from the 6 - 9 board. I used to think like you - and still do, but this will never change. TB forums are very, very catty... especially on 3rd Tri! Hell, I'm probably going to be tore-a-new-one just for posting "where I don't belong!" If some people can't see past a $ sign in a vent then I think of it as their problem. No point in losing sleep over it, although some posts can be quite crazy with how snarky ladies can be. To sum this up: the drama will continue through the forums. Some find it entertaining, some find it annoying, and some absolutely hate it. But it's not going to leave.

Hyfagal · November 2010

Happy2bMommie:
Hyfagal:

I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.

You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?

OMG stop attacking me! I'm just trying to help you out by pointing out the obvious.

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

Don't worry. I think we found the root of her problems.

Happy2bMommie:
Sorry, need to vent. I'm lonely and annoying.

Hey, those are her words not mine, in another post of hers.

mrsdchastain · November 2010

I've only had a good experience here so far but I do know when you put yourself out there in a public forum like this people feel obligated to judge based on the fact they can hide behind a computer screen. And in a forum where people's hormones are all out of whack they might feel more inclined to say what they feel as a way to vent. You have to learn to get a tougher skin about it. Sorry but this is a way for people to express their feelings and views on what others post freely. I hope whoever it was didn't put a bad taste in your mouth.

Happy2bmommie · November 2010

Hyfagal:
Happy2bMommie:
Hyfagal:

I see you're new here. It's the way of the Bump/Nest/Knot These posts don't go over well.
You have to have a tough skin to post on any internet forum where people do not feel obligated to kiss your ass if they don't agree with what you post.

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?
OMG stop attacking me! I'm just trying to help you out by pointing out the obvious.

I'm sorry you felt I was attacking you. I didn't even use the word you in there. I wasn't talking about you personally, just people in general.

Happy2bmommie · November 2010

mrsdchastain:
I've only had a good experience here so far but I do know when you put yourself out there in a public forum like this people feel obligated to judge based on the fact they can hide behind a computer screen. And in a forum where people's hormones are all out of whack they might feel more inclined to say what they feel as a way to vent. You have to learn to get a tougher skin about it. Sorry but this is a way for people to express their feelings and views on what others post freely. I hope whoever it was didn't put a bad taste in your mouth.

Agreed. The thing is, it's not about me personally. It just really angered me that I felt a previous poster just wanted some understanding, and people were spending the time attacking her. I don't like standing by and seeing people attack people, even if it's online. Either way, husband is home, so I'm calling it a night.

Bredins wife · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
This should have been posted during prime time. We could have had so much more fun.

Ha. When I opened this I thought, "ugh, I was about to go to bed..." Now I'm reconsidering...

mjlewis101 · November 2010

So, aside from...wasting your breath... people will flame the hell out of you. Apparently because we can't act like hormonal douche bags in real life...we do it here and make excuses for it.

Stick to the month boards if you want actual "advice" and less hormonal rants.

Mallyboomer · November 2010

Meh, stick around a little longer and the snark gets pretty refreshing... I learned pretty quickly (newb though I am) that the month boards are a great source of information and back-pats, but don't exactly deliver in the variety/entertainment department like 2nd and 3rd Tri. Braxton-Hicks reports and questions about registering get a little monotonous after a while.

I do think the "Worst Shower Gift Ever" girl got a little more late-in-the-week crankiness doled out than she probably deserved, though.

amylynchild · November 2010

I do think people are really mean on here sometimes. That's probably how they are in real life too. Sucks to be them.

But you are trying to be nice, so I'm betting that you try to be nice in real life too. So be happy that you are you... and not them.

I don't mind reading this post, because it makes me feel better that there are people who genuinely care about other people - even if they can't see them face to face.

rider5344 · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
Happy2bMommie:
There are-sadly-much more important and grave issues in this world, that it's hardly worth it to waste your breath and time online attacking someone's hair color choice. Peace.

Happy2bMommie:

No one has to agree with what I or anyone else posts. I think people should just keep their mouths shut and move on. It says so much about a person who spends their time attacking someone else they know crap about. I read many things I don't agree with, I move on. I think one should intervene when the issue might harm the poster, their babies, etc. If it's a matter of what pair of shoes they should buy, who freaking cares?
You sound like a moron. When has ANYONE ever cared what hair color someone uses or what shoes they buy?
NO ONE CARES!!! You're making no sense with this random sunshine-bear crap.

You clearly didn't read the post a few down on the board.

Molluskwrangler · November 2010

I do love the posts that involve an OP speaking out for those who were flamed, even though nothing was said to them. The mental image I get of the OP is this:

"Never fear m'lady, I will save you from the flames of those terrible witches".

bisabelm · November 2010

Heavens to betsey ya'll are just a bunch of mean spirited hussies. I sure feel bad for your husbands and kids! I thought we were all here for support. Did I miss anything else? Is TheBump Justice Leaque holding open enrollment this week or something?

EmilyGrosnong · November 2010

See there are perfect examples here as to what OP is saying. I have also asked the same question and got these snarky comments back. Don't sweat it... I just stick to pregnancyweekly.com for support. They seem to be alot more supportive and alot less judgemental. These boards seem to be more negative by far. Plus the month boards on that sight are smaller and more personal groups of women who offer alot more understanding and support. On here it can be a little like a soap opera. LOL

EmjayTheHunted · November 2010

rider5344:
You clearly didn't read the post a few down on the board.

Feel free to link.

jaysears · November 2010

I hardly ever post anymore b/c I felt attacked from one of my posts, I also was called out for being a newbie (just because I don't live and post on the bump) It makes me wonder what kind of mom's "these mean girls" end up being. I think you should teach by example and I am not sure what example some are setting for their children.

pawcall · November 2010

Honestly, people are just judgmental by nature and being fairly anonymous online gives most people the extra nudge they needed to unleash their opinions.

Just one of those things you have to keep in mind when posting on a public forum. People are completely welcome to disagree with you as vehemently as they'd like.

mishu917 · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
rider5344:
You clearly didn't read the post a few down on the board.
Feel free to link.

A poster in the "Worst shower gift ever" or something like that (a few threads down) mentioned that she paid $100 for her coming home outfit and people started focusing on the cost. I guess she just mentioned it to show how much the outfit meant to her and then the drama with her mom, but a few people were fixated on the cost of the outfit, even though the post was about her mom mainly.

jlewis121186 · November 2010

lissydee:

::looks around for violin::

here it is

grr_aargh · November 2010

bisabelm:
Heavens to betsey ya'll are just a bunch of mean spirited hussies. I sure feel bad for your husbands and kids! I thought we were all here for support. Did I miss anything else? Is TheBump Justice Leaque holding open enrollment this week or something?

:MY FAVORITE:

beautifulsin90 · November 2010

CheyenneShaw:
Happy2bMommie:
Don't attack people's choices unless it is to throw their baby off the balcony.

Wait... We aren't supposed to do that? I thought if they had a parachute it'd be okay.

LMAO

oceanbabe1492 · November 2010

I so agree with this. Not all people are judgmental some are more mature and look past things they might not agree with or like. Something I have noticed if you go to a foreign website for american women that are from else where they do not act like this at all. I was just in shock on how awful some of the people are on here. Some of us are in hospital beds from our laptop trying to pull through, some are waiting, and some are in labor as we speak. Why do we have to be nasty? Then they talk about class and tact of other women lol while sitting there trolling them. Take's a very hurt mean person to act like that if you ask me! This is why we deff need more programs in america for young girls to feel better about their inner self !!! Surprise

elfgirl11 · November 2010

people who take pride in being snarky should realize that they have no right to insinuate that nice people can't survive on the bump...If you can't take it from a "nice" person, don' t dish it. It's funny how defensive the self-professed snarky people are.

On the bump...we just say how we feel...we don't follow people around, stalk them or make posts about trolls . we use our snark in real life.

this is not a popularity contest and I'm really tired of people ganging up on posters for thinking we should not be so offensive to eachother.

I'm not talking about disagreeing, debating or flaming people; I'm saying stop commenting about rainbow farting unicorns- you are the ones obsessed with them and who have taken the time to download effing glittering moving sigs.

what is really naive and worthy of skittles pouring out of a puppys' a$$ is you guys thinking you have control over the mood of the bump.

bell0niner · November 2010

cdobry01:

Honestly, people are just judgmental by nature and being fairly anonymous online gives most people the extra nudge they needed to unleash their opinions.

This x 1000

ACindyinCanada · November 2010

EmjayTheHunted:
Don't worry. I think we found the root of her problems.
Happy2bMommie:
Sorry, need to vent. I'm lonely and annoying.

Hey, those are her words not mine, in another post of hers.

And this is where I would have to draw the line. Really -- going and finding other posts to quote????? Wow. I definitely have added another blocked poster here. No need to waste my brain on this drivel.

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NBR- Why are there so many mean and judgmental posters?

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