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Blended Families
spinoff of chores: laundry
I have a question for those of you who have their dc do their own laundry. Why do you do this? I'm not judging you I'm just curious because it doesn't make sens to me. It seems like the loads would be smaller so you are spending more money and energy to get everything done. I have pondered having ss do his own laundry, but I just have him help with all of it instead. This way he is responsible for getting his stuff to the laundry basket. If he misses when the laundry is sorted and washed (same time each week) then his consequence is the fact that his shirt will have to wait until next week.
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Re: spinoff of chores: laundry
My kids aren't old enough for this but I remember doing laundry as a kid.
I think a lot of that was my mom not really being there cause she always had two jobs. So it wasn't so much a "chore" it ws more thought of a way to help mom out. When I lived with my dad it was kinda the same. We both did laundry. If he was doing a load he'd grab my stuff and vice versa.
I started having SS wash his own laundry when he couldn't seem to wipe correctly, then just let him kept going.
Sorry but if a 10 yr old can't wipe his ass right then he can sniff his own damn underwear as he's putting it in the wash. The same goes when my kids get older.
First, we DO NOT save on loads. He fills a full basket on his own
Second, doing his own laundry was the consequence for NOT bringing it out to me when asked. He is 13 and old enough to be responsible enough to collect, basket and bring his clothes to the machines. If he cannot be bothered to do that, I cannot be bothered to wash them.
Third AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, my goal as a parent is to teach my children self-sufficiency. Cleaning up after themselves, cooking more than a can of soup, and doing their own laundry are just part of the adult responsibilities that they will need when they move out.
Your SS is 16. He will be 18 and on his own in 2 years. While he may have the rudimentary skills down, are the habitual? Will he automatically wash them every week because he learned that habit when he was younger?
BTW - my DH taught my SD how to do these things as well as how to change a tire, mow the lawn, and do other home improvement tasks too.
Our kids are going to be prepared to live on their own.
A guy I work with used to go to college out of state (he lived in FL) and would drive home on the holidays and his mother would wash his clothes.
Now this man is a very successful, intelligent, and educated man. Why in the name of GOD and all that is holy would his mother STILL do this, and why in the name of GOD would he allow her to do this.
Enough said.
I think it depends on the child. I could handle doing my laundry, regularly when I went to college despite only doing it at home when my mom asked because there was a full load. I also handled knowing when to change my sheets, dust, cook, etc. even if I didn't do them all the time at home. And I could check oil, mow lawn, etc.
My brother though, grew up in the same house and is completely different. He did do his laundry at college, but when he was out of stuff to wear, and always had full loads to bring home on breaks (he was only a few hours away). My dad has to change his oil (or take it in for him) and do almost all tasks that I was taught to do on my own. And my brother is now in graduate school living with my grandparents (within blocks of said school) and even though my mom said he was to do his own laundry my grandma is always grabbign it. His lack of responsibility drives my DH crazy. I just don't get how we came from the same people, grew up in the same place, and came out so different.
Before I met SD at the age of 16, she was already doing hers at the age of nine. And her mom's, brother's, step-dad's too. When we all moved in together, I asked her if she was okay doing her own and she was all for it. Preferred it.
I also grew up in a farm family. At a young age - probably 9 or 10, all of us kids were helping out in some fashion around the house. My sister and I did household chores. Laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. included. We turned out fine.
Personally I think it teaches kids to be responsible and I know I attribute my chores as a kid to my work ethic. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty and do my part to help. I know it's one of the reasons I advanced in my career as I have.
I guess I don't get how it is more responsible to do only his laundry or to do the whole family's laundry. If he needs something washed he is welcome to wash it as long as there is enough laundry to complete a full load. He needs to check both laundry hampers and get all of our stuff in together. I don't leave his laundry out of our loads so why shouldn't he wash ours too?
As far as will it be habitual for him in college. Only time will tell. He'll probably run out of stuff and wash it just like I did when I was in school.
I am teaching him to cook, his dad is showing him how to do other things when they come up
I put this in my comment on the other post, but ours entirely had to do with hygiene. My DD's chore is laundry, so she was already doing hers, the towels, and sometimes mine and dh's, along with the other kids. BUT - we kept having problems with SD peeing on her stuff, and she has encopresis (poops in her underwear), so her cleaning up her own mess is part of the therapy for that (aside from the fact that its really gross for DD or me to have to deal with them). My SS's got the same treatment when we kept having problems with them not wiping, and SS(8) peeing his pants and then throwing it in his pile of laundry, so everything ended up pee smelling.
It doesn't really change the # of loads for us, because they all have full loads anyway (and they only do laundry every 2 weeks or so). Plus, all of their clothing has to be washed on the sanitary cycle, while the rest of our laundry is fine on a "normal" cycle.