What's your mom guilt?

kertybird · November 2010

Mine is that I am gone too much. I work 4 days a week (moving to 5 days after Thanksgiving and I travel around 3-4 days per month. My kids always go with one set of the inlaws, my sister or my DH and they always look so forward to it. Yet I always feel a little bit of guilt on the fact that I really love my job and I always have so much fun when I travel! I wish I could shake the guilt.

Temp374386125003286 · November 2010

Definitely work, well the fact that I love my career and would never want to give it up. I feel guilty that I love and need to work.

adri77 · November 2010

I'm a SAHM and I'm with my kids all.the.time. and it drives me CRAZY!!!! THAT is my guilt. That I crave time away from them. Our YMCA has an out and about program, thank goodness, b/c yesterday at 5pm, when I was at the end of my rope (b/c DH doesn't get home until after they are in bed, so no relief from him!!!) I dropped their little butts off for 2 hours and sat and read a magazine and at a slice of pizza. And felt guilty every minute of it.

Jodi&Joe · November 2010

I have the opportunity to live my life over (in a way) through Cam and I'm doing NOTHING to make it better for her than it was for me! Well, sans the abusive father. I yell too much, I can be mean and I'm not NEARLY as engaged as I should be!

Andrewsgal · November 2010

That as a SAHM I need a break. There is no way I could do it 24-7. I love SAH, it is a huge blessing for me, but if I did not have preschool or MDO I would honestly go back to work.

Susie2005 · November 2010

Not having as much patience as I should. Three year olds don't move quickly when you ask them to get dressed. They just don't. I should know that and not get frustrated and yell. I should expect it and just deal with is patiently. But I don't, I usually end up yelling. I try so hard to be patient and I'll do okay for five minutes and then I just get so frustrated. Especially when we are trying to get out the door to go somewhere.

melmax · November 2010

adri77:
I'm a SAHM and I'm with my kids all.the.time. and it drives me CRAZY!!!! THAT is my guilt. That I crave time away from them.

This, this and this.

Zenya · November 2010

adri77:
I'm a SAHM and I'm with my kids all.the.time. and it drives me CRAZY!!!! THAT is my guilt. That I crave time away from them. Our YMCA has an out and about program, thank goodness, b/c yesterday at 5pm, when I was at the end of my rope (b/c DH doesn't get home until after they are in bed, so no relief from him!!!) I dropped their little butts off for 2 hours and sat and read a magazine and at a slice of pizza. And felt guilty every minute of it.

I have to ask - is that something you REALLY felt guilty about or is that 'nest guilt'? (like feeling guilty for feeidng your kid organic cheezits once a year). I honely think if you can't enjoy 2 hours away from your kids then maybe you need to talk to someone? And I don't leave my kids all that much. So it's not like I'm projecting here.

Zenya · November 2010

My guilt... I let my kids watch too much TV.

goodheartedmommy · November 2010

Zenya:
adri77:
I'm a SAHM and I'm with my kids all.the.time. and it drives me CRAZY!!!! THAT is my guilt. That I crave time away from them. Our YMCA has an out and about program, thank goodness, b/c yesterday at 5pm, when I was at the end of my rope (b/c DH doesn't get home until after they are in bed, so no relief from him!!!) I dropped their little butts off for 2 hours and sat and read a magazine and at a slice of pizza. And felt guilty every minute of it.

I have to ask - is that something you REALLY felt guilty about or is that 'nest guilt'? (like feeling guilty for feeidng your kid organic cheezits once a year). I honely think if you can't enjoy 2 hours away from your kids then maybe you need to talk to someone? And I don't leave my kids all that much. So it's not like I'm projecting here.

Ditto. It's not something worth feeling guilty about.

I'm done with mom guilt. Honestly, I don't think I have anything. I'm certainly not perfect, but I've learned that guilt gets me nowhere, so I'm over it.

BubblyToes · November 2010

Ditto the tv thing. There is entirely too much Spongebob watched in this house.

I stopped feeling guilty about the whole work thing. I have a job that I love. I worked very hard to get my degree so that I can have this job. I have to have this job in order to provide a good life for my child. He has a great school that he loves, and friends that he has a great time playing with. We have plenty of time together. He's a very happy kid. I can't feel guilty about it.

adri77 · November 2010

goodheartedmommy:
Zenya:

adri77:
I'm a SAHM and I'm with my kids all.the.time. and it drives me CRAZY!!!! THAT is my guilt. That I crave time away from them. Our YMCA has an out and about program, thank goodness, b/c yesterday at 5pm, when I was at the end of my rope (b/c DH doesn't get home until after they are in bed, so no relief from him!!!) I dropped their little butts off for 2 hours and sat and read a magazine and at a slice of pizza. And felt guilty every minute of it.

I have to ask - is that something you REALLY felt guilty about or is that 'nest guilt'? (like feeling guilty for feeidng your kid organic cheezits once a year). I honely think if you can't enjoy 2 hours away from your kids then maybe you need to talk to someone? And I don't leave my kids all that much. So it's not like I'm projecting here.

Ditto. It's not something worth feeling guilty about.

I'm done with mom guilt. Honestly, I don't think I have anything. I'm certainly not perfect, but I've learned that guilt gets me nowhere, so I'm over it.

On a normal day, no, but I freaked out quite a bit on my kids yesterday, and the way things were left b/w us leading up to my time away, that is what I felt guilty about. I felt guilty about feeling like I shoved them into the room and then ran away. But thanks for questioning me and making me feel weird about my feelings. We are all different and you don't know the full extent of my circumstances.

goodheartedmommy · November 2010

You realize that you said nothing about that, though, and you made it sound like mommy martyrdom? It's not my fault that you didn't share the info. You made it sound like "OMG, I left them for 2 hours and I feel sooooooo guilty. I'm a horrible mother!" I think we're trying to tell you it's okay to get away, even after freaking out. Apologize and figure out a way to avoid the situation in the future. Guilt will get you nowhere, you have to be proactive to improve things.

Zenya · November 2010

adri77:

On a normal day, no, but I freaked out quite a bit on my kids yesterday, and the way things were left b/w us leading up to my time away, that is what I felt guilty about. I felt guilty about feeling like I shoved them into the room and then ran away. But thanks for questioning me and making me feel weird about my feelings. We are all different and you don't know the full extent of my circumstances.

All information that totally changes your OP. Saying you felt guilty for every.single.moment of the rare two hours that you left your kids is completely different to what actually happened. I don't see getting pissy with me for asking a question., seriously.

Kapalua · November 2010

ask me at any time of the day and I probably feel guilty about something...but I'm trying to let it all go.

adri77 · November 2010

Zenya:
adri77:

On a normal day, no, but I freaked out quite a bit on my kids yesterday, and the way things were left b/w us leading up to my time away, that is what I felt guilty about. I felt guilty about feeling like I shoved them into the room and then ran away. But thanks for questioning me and making me feel weird about my feelings. We are all different and you don't know the full extent of my circumstances.

All information that totally changes your OP. Saying you felt guilty for every.single.moment of the rare two hours that you left your kids is completely different to what actually happened. I don't see getting pissy with me for asking a question., seriously.

Ok, whatever, sorry! someone asked what we felt guilty about, and my day yesterday was what i felt guilty about. Didn't have time to add that info initially and didn't think I'd get jumped all over for answering a simple question. Simmer down ladies! I'm over it, not pissy, hope everyone else is the same b/c I enjoy these boards to get other mom perspectives and helpful info, not for arguing. Have a good weekend!

Jamaica_Bride · November 2010

I have mom guilt about everything- work, yelling, engaging enough, being tired all the time, no time for myself, not enough focus on my marriage and the fact that I am a highly educated, intelligent woamn and I cannot find a balance.

I need to learn to let it go. For serious.

DandR · November 2010

I'm catholic....I can't do ANYTHING without feeling guilty about it...its just the nature of being catholic.

Sooo....I'm about to feed my kids pancakes and bacon (haven't had bacon in FOREVER..just sounded good)....yep, I am starting to feel guilty about it.

While I"m making breakfast, they will be watching TV....yep, I'll feel guilty about TV time.

Then I'm going shopping by myself...yep, I'll feel guilty about it. Not just the mom part, but the money part too. LOL

AviatorJJ · November 2010

i feel guilty that my son will probably be an only child. i love my siblings and i wish i could have another baby.

mamarazzi · November 2010

I feel guilty that I'm not more patient. And that I yell. I wish I could be one of those moms that calmly asks her child to do something 15 times and still keeps her cool, but I'm not her. I ask nicely twice and then I'm DONE. I hate having to repeat myself over and over.

I'm hoping that my crankiness of late is a result of being terribly stressed about money since we're struggling a bit right now and being pregnant and hormonal. I hope I don't just suck this much at life in general.

JennJim2006 · November 2010

Susie2005:
Not having as much patience as I should. Three year olds don't move quickly when you ask them to get dressed. They just don't. I should know that and not get frustrated and yell. I should expect it and just deal with is patiently. But I don't, I usually end up yelling. I try so hard to be patient and I'll do okay for five minutes and then I just get so frustrated. Especially when we are trying to get out the door to go somewhere.

This is me, too. I feel that I need to be more patient and not snap so easily. I try really hard not to yell but snapping all the time isn't any better.

Stellasmom · November 2010

That I have so little patience, and on days where my patience is gone by 9 a.m. I want to cry thinking about spending the rest of the day with him.

shopgirl78 · November 2010

Mostly work, yelling and not engaging enough...and what time I do have its spent cleaning, cooking, etc. Although, I swear I have some family that would say I never clean which is far from the truth!

I feel like my kids have too long of days sometimes (work related). I work flex but this past month it's been FT. The boys are in daycare all day and DD goes to school then an aftercare program. Some days when she is sleeping in and (of course only on school days) I have to wake her up. I feel awful. I did get a SPED certificate and am looking to move from working with adults to children. It's actually better pay, benefits and summers off! Of course I finished after school started but positions don't open as often. I am one for one on getting an interview but was left without the job : (

Generally, I don't like to play a lot with my kids. I will talk to them while they play but I don't sit down and play. I love doing things with them especially when other friends are involved. The mommies all chat while the kids entertain themselves. Love it! Nathan not the kind of kid to sit and look at colors, numbers, etc. I feel like he is behind on that stuff because we don't work on it. He'd rather be outside, playing all or tormenting his brother and sister. We are busy on the weekends until January! Our lives are just busy...

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