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Working Moms
DINK2010
member
Day Care
DINK2010
member
in Working Moms
You guys have all been so helpful!
So in our quest to get comfortable with the idea of a LO in our lives, I'd love to know how and why WM chose their day care/in home day care/nanny situation - and how do you find these places?
I am in Southern California and love the idea of a nanny, since we both work so many hours, but doing it legally (which we would want to do) seems extremely expensive - but then again the nearest day care is $1000 a month for infants.
I *think* that if we can answer this question, the birth control pills could quickly be in the trash 
Thanks for your help!
xoxox
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Day Care
This is such a personal question, so you will get a million different opinions. None are wrong. It's just how you feel as a mom.
Personally, we went with a larger center. I love that there is complete control over who is in and out of the building. I love that she has a huge indoor as well as outdoor play area. I love that she has multiple teachers keeping an eye on her as well as each other, so if something is wrong they can brainstorm on ways to correct the problem. I love that I don't have to worry about back up care if the provider is ill as they provide back up teachers. I love that her schedule is completely predictable with a calendar for the month with special activities (ex: Thanksgiving party, traveling zoo, touch a truck, etc) as well as a weekly newsletter with what is happening every day.
As far as finding it, ask around with other moms. Church, playgrounds, co-workers, etc all have childcare opinions. A personal recommendations are the best in my mind. I wanted something near my home and don't know any nearby moms, so I looked up the places online that were within a couple miles of my home and called them to ask for rates. I visited the places in my range and knew from those visits the two that might work for my family.
Remember that child care costs aren't forever. Soon they will be in school and the cost is reduced to after school programs. And you will be amazed how much you can save from your current budget when you become a parent.
met DH 1995 ~ married DH 2006 ~ completed our family 2008
Life is good!
You are awesome - this post alone is more useful information than I could ever ask for. Thank you!!! Bring on the millions of opinions!
The daycare situation you described sounds so wonderful! Thank you for the advice on how to find places like that.
Also made me lol re: savings from current budget. So true.
I also chose a large daycare center, for many of the reasons the PP mentioned. I live in TN, the state has a rating system for daycares. DH looked up all the ones with the highest rating that accepted 6-week-old infants. We both had numerous acquaintances recommend the center we eventually chose. DS has been going there for over a year now. We are so happy with the care. I am starting a new job soon, and we would easily be able to afford a nanny on my new salary. But after discussing it, we decided that the daycare center is still going to work out better for us and for DS.
I live in an even more expensive area of the country- NYC metro area. The cost of my daycare is $1300/month. This is the standard rate for out where I live- closer to the city it reaches $2000. My co-workers for the most part use daycare, nannnies, and in home situations. I explored all three when we found out I was prego. My pregnacy was a suprise so we were really caught in a situation when we realized how expensive it was going to be on top of my unpaid maternity leave. But, I say my prayers everyday that I took 3 days off this spring and visited 5 daycare centers, in home situations, as well as explored a nanny. I even entertained with paying my next door neighbor who is a SAHM looking for extra $. What I found not knowing anything- is that I loved the idea of daycare center. I didn't know anything about anything but yet this felt right and I feel in love with my daycare right away. I know no one who uses it and my MIL insisted that this one place was the best. BTW- the best was closed by the state when I was prego! Not so great.
My daycare is a unique situation. It is at a federal court house for the employees. It has a federal securty guard at the front door. A guard also walks with the children when they take walks. In the baby room, you have to wear the foot scrubs (so crawling kids don't get what is on the bottom of your shoes). Each kid has their own crib, swing, cubbie. Each child has their own diaper supply area. A federal cleaning crew cleans the building each night. Even better, I believe the employees get federal benefits so they stay longer. My daugther's teacher is young but has been there 4 years. She has a bachalors. The other teacher is more grandmomish. She has been there 5 years. My daycare is seperate building with an outdoor area wrapped around 3 sides. I can go on and on about it. It is the same price as other daycares but it is the little things that sold me I had never thought about.
Here is one thing that sold me about daycare center. They are open consistently. Yes, u pay for when you don't need- example if you go on vacation. But, you pay to know your child can attend everyday. I would really struggle with an inhome provider if she got sick or her kids did and she couldn't take my daughter that day or the next. Daycare also has hours of operation which can work or not work for your family.
A nanny works for some people- but it is pricey. My concern is more about privacy. My sister is actually a nanny in IL and loves it. The family loves her. But, my luck I would end up with someone that I had issues with. I didn't want people coming in and out of my house and my daughter's life. I wanted stability.
Sorry, so long. This was a really interesting time for me - trying to figure what was best for my daugther and us. But, I am so glad I did my homework and love my daycare.
I have a nanny. I have three children, and day care (which is over 2000/month for an infant) would just be too much for three.
Prior to my twins, I had my son in daycare. I liked it a lot.
Advantages of a nanny:
Cheaper, for me
I don't have to get everyone up and out of the house
She'll do laundry and cleaning
I don't have to worry about what happens if one of the kids gets sick.
She can take him to doc appointments, etc.
If she gets sick, I have back-up day care through my work, so I don't have to worry about that.
She's a teacher, so my 3 year old has practically a private teacher.
She takes him to playgroups/activities/classes, so he gets his socialization that way.
The one-on-one is fantastic....she's very aware of all needs/changes/milestones, and can catch things multiple caregivers may miss.
The trick in getting a nanny is getting a GOOD one, not one that will just stay home all day. My nanny takes all three kids out, teaches my son the same sorts of things they learn in day care, takes them to classes/story times, etc.
It can be hard to find a good one, but when you find out, they become part of your family. Which is really nice.
For us, a daycare center is the best. Our main issues of using a nanny are privacy and trust. Regardless if the nanny is highly recommended, I just can't trust leaving my LO at home with someone. We just feel like, you just never know what the nanny is doing at your house while you're gone. The idea of one-on-one or the nanny being able to tend to your LO right away sounds good. But, how do you know that she's not letting your LO CIO? Plus, everyone gets a bad day. How would I know that she doesn't get rough with or snap at my LO?
So, yeah, we don't like the idea of a nanny.
Our daycare center is really good. Although the ratio is 1:4, when babies are crying at the same time, teachers from other classes or the admin ladies will step in to help out by rocking each baby, feeding if it's feeding time, or take them for a walk. So nobody is left to cry if the teacher is busy with one baby.
I love my child care. She goes to a child development lab on a college campus. In addition to being a daycare for those on the college campus, it serves as an observation facility for college students majoring in early education. The teachers all have Master's degrees (because they need to be more educated than the students). They have a low ratio of 7 babies and 4 teachers, they track infants developmental progress giving me reports and conferences frequently. They do not allow babies younger than 3 months, which I loved about the center. They also have two way mirrors, which allows the education college students to be watching into the classroom. So the teachers are never not-accounted for and the teachers have to always be modeling proper care and teaching, for the students who may or may not be observing. We chose this set up for the high level of accountability the teachers have.
You should Check your local college campus many have this set up too. I started researching when is was 2 months pregnant and was on wait lists at 5 months pregnant.
No good child care center would do any of these things. Rumors like this kill me and are mostly unfounded. Yes there are bad centers out there, but there are also neglectful nannies and in-home providers.
Yes, sometimes babies cry, but usually the other 3 babies in their care are happy so that sad baby can be tended to. The crying baby always gets top priority. They also had floating assistants, so if the room needed more help, the floater would come in. If all 4 babies are upset, then the caregiver isn't doing a good job.
And they don't bottle prop. If I ever walked in and saw that, I would have pulled my LO immediately. There are 3 rocking chairs where each baby was lovingly rocked and fed. As they got older and could hold their own bottle, they sat in a circle and watched each other eat, learning from each other.
Yes, they are exposed to more illness, but your LO will be exposed to illness anytime they are with other kids. Unless you plan on home schooling and keeping your child in a bubble, there are going to be lots of germs in your LO's life. A good center has a process in place to help reduce the spread of disease, like washing toys after they are used and wiping down surfaces multiple times a day. Although the colds get old, they produce a healthy immune system.
Don't let the crappy place you worked for set the standard of what a good center is like.
met DH 1995 ~ married DH 2006 ~ completed our family 2008
Life is good!
So helpful. Thank you so much. And thank you for the suggestions on where to look for day care centers - I would have never thought to look into the federal buildings or the local colleges. Brilliant.
I see how a nanny makes more sense for multiple kids at home where day care makes sense for just one LO.
Prices are about the same here! Awful!! This was not too long at all, this is all such great information! (actually from everyone). And seeing how everyone has "made it work" while working really gets me excited to move forward with the next step
I just happened to check back on this post and I was shocked at your response to my post. I have to respond to a few things even though this post in one month old. Even if no one reads this I have to get it off my chest.
What I stated in my post is fact based on 10 years of full time experience interning/interviewing/working at several daycare centers both large and small. It was not a fleeting experience with one crappy center. What I wrote is not an unfounded "rumor". I have experience at what many would consider, from an outsiders perspective, GREAT centers and also at some less than great centers.TEN years, 40 hours a week, I have seen it all.
I would not presume to tell YOU what it is really like in your chosen profession so please don't tell me you know more about what daycare is really like because you toured a few places and you see it at drop off and pickup times. PLEASE! I urge you to spend a FULL week at your child's center and then we can chat about what it is really like- not just what it appears to be during 10 minutes that you see it per day.
4 babies crying at one time is not a poor refection on a caregiver and it happens everyday. Bottle propping happens EVERY DAY, Of course not during drop off and pick up times! Babies are sometimes given the wrong breast milk, babies that cry a lot are dreaded by the staff. Babies are all on different schedules so the caregiver is CONSTANTLY running around changing this one, warming up a bottle for another, trying to get to the one who is crying and probably holding another on her hip. There is little interaction other than basic needs being met.
For the record I am not saying that daycares are the devil. I am saying that based on my education and experience I do not think that daycare is is appropriate for infants at the ratio 1:4. Older toddlers and preschools are a different story though:)
But if for whatever reason you need to tell yourself that what YOU wrote is the reality then so be it.
It shocks and saddens me how many people stick their heads in the sand bout this issue.
You stop by several times a day unannounced? That is nice, but just so you know, things are often different when a parent is there.
If your center has an infant ratio of 1 adult to 4 infants then what I wrote is 100% happening. It does't matter if the center is old and a little shabby or if it is shiny new. It comes down to numbers and 1 adult caring for 4 infants in absurd! Have YOU ever cared for that many infants at one time?
If your center has a lower ratio then that is a different story. When I say a lower ratio I am NOT talking about a director popping in the infant room for 20 minutes while a mom in in the room to make it APPEAR like there is a lower ratio.
Think about it from a financial standpoint...the center has to make money and if there is a lower ratio than 1:4 then the center would make NO money. All of the tuition would have to go for the staff salary. I assure you that is never going to happen! They cram as many babies in there allowed by law ( and sometimes 1 more at times throughout the day) so they can make a profit.
The staff is probably loving and caring and doing the best they can and I am not saying that the staff is at fault.
I didn't just read a few books about child development and a few articles in a parent's magazine I studied Early Childhood Education for 4 years at a college and have over 400 professional development hours. I haven't popped in for a couple of hours here and there, I have worked in the field for a decade and talked to dozens of colleagues about their experiences at the centers where they have worked.
Good luck!