Anyone else feel like they can't be excited?

bananatiff · November 2010

This is a sad feeling, but I am a biologist. I've also watched women in my life have early miscarriages...

...so is anyone else feeling like they can't talk about their pregnancy too much or get too excited for fear that it will all just go away? My DH and I were so excited after our BFP, but we have been hush hush around each other. He has been taking great care of me with 24/7 m/s and I have all positive, normal symptoms. No spotting, odd cramping or anything to worry about. But I don't want to look at baby stuff or subscribe to anything!

Our first doc appointment is next Wednesday, and I'm wondering if this worry will end if we have a good appointment? I wish I was less pessimistic, but this was our first effort for a baby, and this feels too good to be true!

Can't wait to get over this hump... : /

mdluv21 · November 2010

After everything is has taken for us to get to this point I def. feel that way. I hoping after my u/s next week I will start to feel less terrified but right now I am mostly just scare shiitless.

I don't even want to put a ticker because I think it will jinx me.

damabo80 · November 2010

yes. This is my third pregnancy in 2010.

I don't know if I'll ever feel "safe" again.

LnR70707 · November 2010

Yes, I keep telling myself I will feel better after a certain point but it hasn't happened yet. First it was my 2nd beta, then after the first u/s, after we see a HB...I'm still wreck, hopefully I'll feel better after seeing a HB a second time tomorrow.

soon2bmommaof2 · November 2010

I'm the same way.. I'd say I'm excited but in the back of my mind I have negative thoughts, even though I have no valid reason to worry.

I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son and during my pregnancy with him, kept telling myself "after the next appt I'll feel better.." and really I can say I didn't get truly "I'm having a baby!!!" excited till about 5 months along. I'm really trying to relax and take it one day at a time this time around.

MrsVictoriaB · November 2010

yes I feel like that now and with DS. Until I hit 12 weeks and everything checks out ok, I am just too nervous to assume I will have a healthy live baby in 9 months

duhdaisy86 · November 2010

feel the same way!.....I am having a ton of Uterine cramps (never had with DS) so I am constantly going to the bathroom...and talking to the baby and telling it to please stay, you have to stay..

We were overjoyed with our pregnancy in Late August early sept and it just got taken away...so we are much more cautious with this lo!

curlyhairedboys · November 2010

Yes. This is my 3rd. I m/c my 1st pg over 5 yrs ago and even though I've had 2 successful pg's since, I'm still nervous. No lists, no tickers. Just a small blurb at the bottom of my sig saying I'm due early July.

I don't even have an appt until I'm almost 10 weeks. All signs still point to the fact that I'm pg, but symptoms are very slight - except the bloat After my 1st appt, I'm planning on relaxing a little and enjoying myself.

Mrs.Leah.Maria · November 2010

We were FH with DS and BFP#2, getting pregnant the first tries both times. My pregnancy with DS was beautiful and with BFP#2, I never had a good feeling. I also felt like there was no way it could go as smoothly as before. I don't think it was a self fulfilling prophecy, there was just a major difference in my naviety with DS that wasn't true with BFP#2.

With LO now I never speak of the future to DH, while DH does talk to LO. We both speak to DS about the LO and I guess that's our compromise. Scary as it is, miscarriages happen and I've been on the low side of the statistics once already. I can't shake the reality and I don't know when I'll feel safe.

ltsfiance · November 2010

I feel the same way and it's really hard. I sometimes feel like this is too good to be true. But, I just remind myself to keep staying as positive as possible and take it day by day. My best friend has a m/c and has since gone on to have a beautiful little boy and a little girl who will be here in 3 weeks and she said she just told herself everyday "I am pregnant today" and that helped her a lot.

bananatiff · November 2010

You girls are amazing. I was very teary reading all of these responses. I feel like because we all feel similar, that we're in this together and we'll all be ok.

Things happen, but it's good to have support and know others are in the same boat!

I'm hoping we will all soon be blessed with peace of mind and can breathe some sighs of relief...

jj4ever04 · November 2010

i would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. It took a lot to get to this point and I'm so afraid it will all just go away. I talk to the baby and pray that everything will stick but I'm nervous.

I hope that feeling leaves after 12 weeks or at least subsides by next week once we have our U/S. I think once I see a heart that will make me feel better

Firefly9 · November 2010

It's an incredibly scary thought. No one wants a miscarriage, obviously, and it's sad it's something we have to worry about. But, ladies, we are pregnant today, we are pregnant NOW, and that's what matters!

kimmiekp · November 2010

I totally know what you are feeling! So does my guy. We have been through 4 miscarriages so this time we were more the cautious. In fact, I didn't even bother to take a pregnancy test until 4 days after my missed period. I KNEW I was pregnant, but I thought, we'll see if I stay that way this week, then I will make an appointment and we'll see if I stay that way until my appointment. I carried on as if nothing was going on, but took precautions. I told him not to tell anyone (because he's the first to tell his mom EVERYTHING). I shouldn't chastise because I told my mom after I got a positive at the doctor's office but it's my mom... she gave birth to ME... He was good about holding out telling his mom this time until after I had the positive at the doctor's office and then we didn't talk about it much. And he pretty much said, I'll get excited once I see a heartbeat... (I can't blame him because I was feeling the same way). So we went to the first ultrasound yesterday and... yippie.. heartbeat. That DID make a difference. A HUGE difference. We have both accepted I am pregnant and remain hopeful that this is our take home baby. But the only other person I've told is my sister. I haven't told my Dad, I haven't told my brothers, I haven't told any of my friends, nothing. I'm still very guarded.

It's frustrating because you want to go crazy and enjoy it. But then you're afraid to jinx yourself. The first time out I got a baby book and started writing in it right away (thankfully in pencil). The second time I took notes right away but not in the book. The third time I didn't take ANY notes... The fourth time I wasn't pregnant long enough really to take any notes. The fifth pregnancy? I am taking notes. I'm blogging. I've got a little website on here (which was for myself until yesterday I sent the link to my mom and sister). I started looking at nursery stuff (before I even had the ultrasound) and have even looked at names. I realized through all of this - you cannot jinx yourself. No matter how many people you tell or don't tell, no matter how many things you buy or write or look at online, this will not CAUSE a miscarriage and if there is going to be an early miscarriage there is nothing you can do to prevent it. But of course telling everyone you know right now means having to explain if something goes wrong so it's only natural to be a little hush hush. I'm not sure when I'm going to spill the beans. I might do it after my next ultrasound. I might wait until I move into my second trimester. But all the other stuff??? I'm enjoying it! Because, you know what? No matter what, if you miscarry you'll be disappointed, but if you don't miscarry, then you've wasted all this time worrying about it instead of doing what us preggies should be doing... looking at all this cute as hell baby stuff and making note of every little detail so we can look back on it fondly!

cherylanddoug · November 2010

Yes, I feel the same way. I lost a baby and I can't help but worry about this one. It seems unreal to me right now.

maymaymia · November 2010

I totally understand. I have had 3 m/c so I don't think I will ever feel safe or count on having a baby in my arms in nine months.

PrincessDi80 · November 2010

After my loss in June i am petrified that things won't go well this time. I just keep trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy each day.

mrs.conananan · November 2010

L&R70707:
Yes, I keep telling myself I will feel better after a certain point but it hasn't happened yet. First it was my 2nd beta, then after the first u/s, after we see a HB...I'm still wreck, hopefully I'll feel better after seeing a HB a second time tomorrow.

This exactly. I need to see that HB!

MrsO_53 · November 2010

I feel the same way. In my job I see a lot of miscarriages, and I am really scared. It's our first pregnancy, and as much as I love my job, I think it's making it harder for me now. I'm like you guys, I keep thinking after I go to the Dr. I'll feel better, after I hear the heart beat I'll feel better... I just hope I really do.

bananatiff · November 2010

You are an amazing inspiration! ::hugs:: for what you've been through, and I really hope this is your take home LO too

You really deserve it!

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