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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
mm&es
member
What are you going to tell LO about Santa?
mm&es
member
I'm really conflicted on this one. It seems like a sweet part of childhood to believe in Santa, but I hate the idea of lying to DD, and I really hate the idea of her realizing later on that we lied to her.
I talked to DH about it, and he thinks we should just tell her Santa exists because "thats what our parents did and we turned out fine," and because all of her friend's parents will hate us if DD tells her friends that there is no Santa. I disagree, because I remember finding out about Santa and feeling horrible, and I don't feel like I should make parenting decisions based on some other people's possible reactions.
I know DD probably won't understand much of Christmas this year, so am I worrying about this too early? I would love to just not even address Santa this year, and deal with it next year, but we are spending Christmas with the IL's this year, and they have already mentioned a few things about Santa, like how they have all of these Santa decorations so that they can explain to her who Santa is, they want BIL to come to the house dressed as Santa, and they want to put all of the presents under the tree on Christmas Eve so that DD will think Santa was there.
This does not sit well with me at all. I don't know what to tell DD about Santa, but I don't want DD to think he is a tangible person who will be keeping track of how naughty she is and bribing her with gifts, and I know for a fact I don't want IL's doing all of this.
I know they are just really excited for their first Christmas with their first grandchild, so how do I tell them tactfully that I don't want any of this, especially since its their house and their celebration?
What are you telling your LO about Santa, and Christmas in general?
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Re: What are you going to tell LO about Santa?
He lives in the North Pole with his elves, has a magical sleigh pulled by reindeer, and drops off gifts to boys and girls while you are asleep.
I have zero issue with telling her this flat out lie. Christmas was so magical for me and I cannot wait for her to feel that too.
Growing up, it was never about naughty/nice in my house. It was about the power of giving and being surprised. Santa would drop off gifts for my cousins at our house too so after playing with my toys, we'd drive all around the city dropping gifts off. This was the second to best part (#1 being receiving lol). You don't have to use it as a bargaining tool to get your LO to behave and if you do things right, you can teach them to share.
Wait, I don't understand...Santa isn't real?
Heck, even as adults, Santa still visited our house. I am perfectly happy with her continuing with Santa as long as she wants.
IMO, I see nothing wrong with Santa. It helps with kids imaginations. Also, as E gets older we plan to help her learn the meaning of Christmas by doing community service throughout the year, and giving to others. As long as you balance everything, I think it can be good.
I'm in the minority that believes Santa is a lie people tell children. I don't fault anyone whatsoever who chooses to do the Santa thing but I decided with my first child it was not for us. I personally have strong feelings about lying in general, to anyone, ever.
I explained to my children that Santa is a Christmas character, like Mickey Mouse or Kermit or any other character. I told them the Santa story as just that, a Christmas story. I also explained to them before they started school that other children do believe Santa is real and he brings them their presents and that they should never say differently and try to change what someone else believes. I have never once had my kids "out Santa" to another child. And I've never had to feel rotten once they figured out he wasn't real. So it worked for us just being honest from the beginning.
This is what we'll tell DS too. My mom has already told DS that "Santa is coming soon". I think it's a normal part of childhood and there's no way I would take that magic away from DS. Next year we'll start with the whole leave cookies & milk out for Santa to have a snack. Since DH doesn't like sweets I'll eat the cookies myself.
Totally agree. I don't think I am lying to my kids by them believing in Santa. I personally can't imagine telling them Santa wasn't real and then my kid being the jerk in preschool crushing all the other little kids excitement.
DS will get the lie with a twist- that Santa is the spirit of giving, that he loves to give to children, blah blah blah. Something like that.
I want to teach my kids to be their own little Santas and be generous and loving during the holidays, so when the bubble does get popped they still have some of the loving magic with them... like I did.
When the bubble gets popped, we wil ltalk about the real saint and what he did for children.
I can't imagine not carrying on the tradition of Santa Claus with my kids - it was such a great memory of my childhood. I LOVED that feeling of going to bed Xmas Eve, shaking with excitement, trying to stay awake to hear/see something, and waking up and LEAPING out of bed to see if he's really been there.
It's such a short time on earth that we can truly believe in such goodness; why would I deny that to my girls? We will absolutely be telling them all about Santa. I don't know anyone who was traumatized when they found out that it was just a magical fantasy spun by their parents - how weird.
You do what you're comfortable with.
This year, we're not teaching anything one way or another about Santa, just as we did last year. Next year, obviously she'll be old enough to "get it" so we're going to have to address it then.
I'm not a huge fan of Santa-it's not really about the "lying" to the kids that doesn't sit well with me, it's the general message that Christmas is about getting gifts. Before anyone jumps on me, I'm sure there are TONS of parents out there who emphasize giving around the holidays and there are tons of parents who celebrate Jesus right along with Santa in a meaningful way. That's just not what I want to do for my family-I want to minimize Santa and increase Jesus. DH and I have agreed that DD can get one gift from Santa each year, essentially so she doesn't ruin the story for other kids. Once again, this is ME and MY family.
My parents never used the idea of Santa as a way of getting my brother and I to behave. We plan to do the same with DD. We'll tell her the whole Santa story about living in the North Pole with Mrs. Claus and the elves and go through the process of writing him a letter every year and baking cookies for him and Rudolph. It was all about fun and magic for us and I want DD to experience the same thing. I just don't see it as lying to them; you're telling them a story.
I'm a grinch. I don't see the point of investing a lot in creating a whole story about Santa only to tell her he doesn't exist later. For us, Santa will just be another one of those physical signs of the season, like the ubiquitous pumpkin at Halloween, so she'll see him around town and at the mall, etc., but we're not giving presents from him or leaving cookies out for him, etc.
It's complicated enough to be raising DD bilingual, bi-cultural and between two faiths (we celebrate Hannukah & Christmas, as well as Easter & Passover) without having to throw in a whole schpiel about Santa. I figure there are enough other things I do every day to make her childhood an enjoyable one that I don't need to drive myself nuts about Santa. The "magic" of Christmas for us is about traveling to see my family and having DD get to spend time with my siblings and all of her cousins.
DH and I are not down with the lying either. We've agreed on this from the beginning. Just like the PP said, we will explain that Santa is just a character, or a symbol of the holiday.
What will be harder is when we tell our parents what we are going to tell DD. They will no doubt disapprove with our choice. But here's the deal....they are not raising the kids. They had a choice and now so do we.
Every Christmas we are going to go to a children's hospital or family homeless shelter and volunteer for 1/2 a day or so. I want to teach DD that there are less fortunate children out there and that we should be greatful for what we already have. We will give her a few gifts, but as she gets older, I want to really emphasize the excitement of GIVING.
In summary, we will teach her that Christmas is a time to spend with our families and a time to show our gratitude.
She may not get the message until she is older, but it doesn't hurt to start early.