Serenity Now!!

Re: Serenity Now!!

• BeetleLinz1125 member

  November 2010

  Um wow.  Call the crazy train.  This lady needs a first class ticket.  Maybe just tell her that you or your dh's already have a brother/sister who has a child with that name and you don't want any family confusion.  That would be the most passive way around it, but I would avoid her as much as possible!

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• Gina418 member

  November 2010

  Wow, that's a little weird. She obviously has issues dealing with the loss. Have you chosen a name for your daughter? Maybe tell her that while you think Ashley is a beautiful name you and your husband will be naming your daughter (insert name here).
  

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• luvdv8 member

  November 2010

  Yuck- that's an awkward situation!

  I would simply ask her to go out for lunch one day and say mention that you're going to go with a family name, or something with more meaning to you and DH but that you would love to do something in Ashley's memory and then ask her if she has any suggestions about a special toy or something that you could get a replica of to put up in baby's nursery.

  DH's parents have friends who lost a son in his teens and so DH has always been a bit of a surrogate for him. Some people need to talk about it and share their experience with others as part of the process- your co-worker seems like that type of woman so I'm sure she'd love to help make or give you something that makes her feel like there's another tangible attachment to her daughter out in the world.
  

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• [Deleted User]

  November 2010

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• Mrs. Bella

  November 2010

  Wow, Hoochiemama!  (Non-Seinfeld fans: I'm not actually calling anyone a hoochie.)

  I think if you're not close, your best bet is to tell her (compassionately, but with as much clarity and conviction as you can) something like this:

  "Look Frieda, I'm really sorry for your loss, and I know I probably can't fully understand what you've been through, but I have to be honest.  You saying things like this makes me REALLY uncomfortable.  You really have to stop and not call my baby Ashley anymore.  While it's a beautiful name, and I'm sure you cherish the memories of your daughter, that will not be my baby's name.  I really hope you can understand where I'm coming from and stop doing that."

  Honestly if saying something along those lines doesn't stop her, you just may have to start ignoring her.
  

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