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December 2010 Moms
MrsRonBurgundy
member
Screw Your "Shoes Off" Policy - Vent
MrsRonBurgundy
member
My BIL and SIL insist people take their shoes off in their home. I get it in the snow/rain, but all year. Now that I am 9 months pregnant I find this realllly annoying. Sometimes it's really hard to get my shoes back on, sometimes it's hard to get them off. You ladies know.
When I've tried to hint they are so obtuse "Oh we'll get you a chair." The other day I go "I don't think I can get my shoes back on" and she goes "Oh I'll loan you some clogs" JEEEZUS.
How pregnant do I have to be to be exempt from this draconian shoe law? 10 months?
I want to buy those surgical booties to make a point.
Am I being ridiculous and I should just suck it up? Their House - their rules? I just think it's sooo unwelcoming and rude.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Screw Your "Shoes Off" Policy - Vent
Flame away, but I have ALWAYS hated a shoes off policy in people's homes. How important are your carpets and floors that they cannot be cleaned ever? Obviously, if I was all muddy, I would offer to take them off, but general dirt? Puh-lease.
We have a "do what you like" policy in our house. Come in with your shoes on, take em off, I don't care. I have a vacuum and mop for a reason.
We are shoes-off people, too. I get annoyed when people don't take them off - especially when it's rainy/wet/snowy/etc.
However, I'm not really going to say to someone "Please take your shoes off" if it's not messy outside. I just couldn't bring myself to say it!
I'm not picky when it's nice out, but if it's messy out, I'm definitely going to be hinting HARD that you take off your shoes, guilty!
This
Me: 32 DH: 32
BFP #1: 4/1/2010 DS born: 12/3/10
TTC #2 since 5/2014
BFP # 2 : 6/16/14 EDD: 2/25/15 Missed Miscarriage discovered 7/10/14 D&C 7/17/14 Pathology results normal
BFP #3: 10/21/14 EDD: 7/6/15 11/24/14: Saw heartbeat!
TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animals in the snow
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We have a shoes-off policy so we have a comfy bench in the entry if people want to sit down.
I've never asked actually had to ask anyone to take their shoes off though, they either ask me or just do it on their own. Theres been a few exceptions but it was nice out so no big deal that they kept their shoes on .
We have really light carpet and it stains SO easily. I wish we could afford to have them replaced, or get deep cleaned all the time but we can't so we try not to make the situation worse.
I get wanting to keep your floors clean. They have hardwood throughout just like we do. It sweeps right up. No carpeting.
Sometimes at our place, someone walks all the way in and into the nursery and onto my new light beige rug for the nursery and I am silently cringing, but I just can't be that person who tells people to take them off.
And I just don't see why I can't get some consideration for being really pregnant. SIL had a baby 6 months ago, the fact that she is not cooler about this annoys me. Also their baby is not crawling yet, so it's not like the baby's going to get into the dirty floors. Frankly they are too anal to let the baby crawl or be on the floor. It's a bit much.
I am trying not to make a thing about it, but I seriously do not feel like going over there sometimes b/c of it.
I've gotta say...slip ons. They're a life-saver right now.
We're a shoes-off house, I do think that if you're at someone else's house you've kind of got to go by whatever their wishes are. I've never really been around people who didn't at least offer to take their shoes off at the door. That being said - I wouldn't demand a 9 months pregnant chick take her shoes off if it's obvious that they were hard to get on or off in the first place.
Shoes off policies don't bother me, I'm used to it. BUT, I think it's kind of lame when it's all hardwood and no carpeting. Like you said, it sweeps/mops right up. Obviously if it's yucky out that's a different story.
I totally understand your issues, I have problems getting shoes on these days too. Like lulu said though, slip-ons are the way to go. I bought a couple pairs of ballet flats and am slightly ashamed to admit that I'm still rocking my flip flops.
Yeah, some days I wear slip-ons, but I'm still working and some days I'm rocking a pair of boots and once those suckers are off they are not going back on. So like y'day we went there for dinner after work and I was just dreading it. I made one passive aggressive comment to my SIL about it once. When we moved into our new place (hardwood like hers) she goes "are you going to be the kind of people who make people take their shoes off" and I go "no we are going to be the kind of people who clean our floors and don't worry about it."
Yeah, it's cultural for MH too. You just don't wear shoes in an Indian house.
My aunt has a shoes off policy at her house... very annoying, and yes, unwelcoming. But if I know I'm going over there, I wear my ballet flats. Or flip flops, depending on the weather. Last Christmas I just wore my new slippers.
My parents just got white carpet put in, so that is one of their new rules, too. I don't mind it too much there, because I know they just put a LOT of money into fixing up their house for the first time since they've moved in, and I'm happy they're splurging, so I'm not going to fight it.
A lot of people (not sure if this is your BIL and SIL or not) have shoes off policies so you're not tracking in outside germs all over their carpets if they have young kids. I see it both ways. I don't typically complain about it one way or the other. Everyone does stuff differently, and I just plan ahead and wear the right kind of shoes to their houses so I can slip them off if need be.
Same here, my husband is Vietnamese so its SOP for his whole family. But I refuse to walk around shoeless in his parents house. It's so filthy I might as well be walking around NYC barefoot.
And btw, can I just say, if it's cultural I would not complain. In this case it's not. I think I'm more just whining b/c I'm all pregnant and it's a pain. And if I'm going from my house to their house I plan what shoes, but if I'm going straight after work or it's not prearranged I can't plan my footwear.
Also I see my 70 year old in-laws at their house in their holey socks and I just think, "Dear Lord, this is so disrespectful to demand that your elderly parents take off their shoes." At some point it's ridiculous.
Oh yes you will! Your floors will be all pretty and shiny and brand new and you'll want to keep them that way.
Dirty shoes scratch the he!! out of wood floors.
We're a shoes-off house too... it's a cultural thing for DH and I. Though I think I might make the exception for a 8-9 months pregnant friend
Unfortunately, it's their house = their rules.
I have SUCH trouble getting shoes on and off that I'm now wearing slip-on ballet flats or even flip flops (and it's cold here!) all the time. I even have trouble putting on my tall Uggs! So I say slip-ons all the way.
This is how I feel too, even though I don't ask people to take off their shoes. Even though it secretly annoys me. It's easier for them to just take off the shoes then for me to have to vacuum/sweep/mop for 1/2 hour. And I have hardwood. Dirt/dust/etc. shows up very well on hardwood. My husband disagrees with me though. We have many arguments about HIM taking off his shoes.
This.
Our house is hardwood, but I always thought it was jus common to remove your shoes at the door. I wouldn't ever make someone or even ask them to, but I would be surprised if they didn't, unless they just had to use the bathroom, I would still expect them to ask if it is ok, and I wouldn't care. I think it's rude not to and expect someone to clean up after you because you don't feel like it. Being 9 months pregnant is an exception, but it is also kind of your responsibility to find slip ons so you can follow normal social rules.
I have been to more than one house where the hostess actually provided new white socks for people to wear in their house in place of shoes and/or barefeet.
Weird. And we've never been back to either home.
I'd make an exception for you if the weather is decent. Well, I guess I don't have a no shoes policy in the first place!
But yeah, if they feel so strongly they should put you in a chair and then put your shoes back on for you like one would do with a kid. Maybe give you a foot massage while they're at it. Not clogs, but your shoes. And they should ask you if you are comfortable enough barefoot. Personally my back hurts a lot. I'm not sure having zero support that goes along with no shoes would be very good for me. They should be sensitive of that too.
If you think that the number of germs on shoes is a problem, you should probably require people to wear sanitized mittens when they come into your home, too. And/or never let guests touch anything with their hands that the baby might touch. Shoes really aren't as bad as other aspects of your guests....
this is me, I really don't see the point of shoes off when I have dogs that are in and outside all day. I just steam and sweep. Way easier that way.
Dx MTHFR (C677T & A1298C, Compound Heterozygous)