Infertility

Could You Be ANY More Insensitive?

I talk to a friend of mine daily about every detail of our IF journey. She happens to be 5 months pg. She knew I was having a D&C today and she told me yesterday basically that my experience freaked her out so she made a Dr appt b/c she's been having weird pains. I sent her a bbm last night asking if everything was ok. She writes me back TODAY, the day of my D&C, saying "Everything was ok yesterday-baby is doing great and moving and kicking a ton. ??The pains are prob from muscles stretching, sometimes the baby could hit a nerve too." REALLY? Do I need to know that level of detail? She could have just said "it went fine." F HER!! My D&C went ok but I'm feeling very angry and emotional now and basically want to hide under the covers and not talk to anyone for a long time.

TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN :(
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!

 

James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!

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Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!

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Re: Could You Be ANY More Insensitive?

  • oh my god. People honeslty amaze me. I'm so sorry, Patchen ((HUGS))
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  • People really suck. How totally insensitive of her.

    I hope you are feeling okay. I slept for hours. Get some rest.

    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • wow! talk about not knowing when to keep  your mouth shut!  I'm so sorry hun. 

    ~Lauren~
    **SAIF always welcome.**
    After 2+ years, 3 losses, 3 surgeries, 2 IVFs and 1 FET our little girl is here.
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  • Wow, her response was uncalled for and absolutely insensitive. I'm sorry she said that to you ! Sad

    I'm glad the D&C went well. Please get some rest and take care of yourself.



    "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
    "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
  • I'm so sorry dear...I don't want to do this to a PG lady but for you, I will!

    ::walks up to Patchen's PG friend and throat punches her::

    I'm glad your D&C went smoothly. Take care of yourself. We're all here for you. ((HUGS)).

    TTC 12/2009
    Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
    IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
    IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
    E & C Born 10/19/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Hmm...WOW. 

    ((hugs)) 

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  • You have a right to hide under the covers. You take care of YOU! Hugs.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    History of IF and 2.5 years TTC. The day we were to start our first IUI we received a call that changed our lives forever and 10 month old Olivia joined our family. Shortly thereafter we got a surprise BFP and baby 2 is due July 5, 2012

    image
  • You are absolutely right. Some people, friends even, are so insensitive. I have one too -- sending me US pictures from this immaculate conception baby she is now PG with - informing me of her every symptom. I have shut her off for a while. I, too, have shared every single detail, emotion, everything with her.

    ::hugs::

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

  • I'm glad the D&C went okay, but wow....how insensitive of your friend.  I'm so sorry she made an already difficult day even harder.  Thinking about you today....get some rest.  ((hugs))
    image
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
  • {{big, big, hugs}}

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  • Some people can really suck!!!

    I am keeping you in my T&P.

    Michelle
    Blythe Elizabeth is here March 27,2012
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  • Ugh that is just so awful and so insensitive.  ((hugs))

    After 20 months, 5 IUIs, PCOS, Endo and IVF, our baby is here! Full IF history in blog
    ~Life After Infertility~
  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes things in my
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. Syhe
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes things i
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes things in
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes things in my face and
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing.
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  • Im sorry patchen!! I have a SIL who does the same thing. She pushes things in my face
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  • Nice. People are very much interested in themselves only. Sorry!
  • Im so sorry!!! Bump burp!!

    Im so sorry about your D&C =(  Just ignore your friend and tell her you need some time.

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  • I'm so sorry.  Some people just don't get it.  (((((Huge hugs)))))  This just isn't fair. :(
    After 4.5 years our miracle IVF baby is here!
    Born 7/30/13
  • I am so sorry you are having to deal with your very insensitive friend while going through this.  I hope you are able to get some rest today.   I slept a lot after mine and that seemed to help a little. 
    SAIF and PAIF Always Welcome
    07/14/97 - Stillborn twins at 22 weeks
    12/20/99 - Miscarriage #1 - 11 wks 4 days laproscopic surgery due to rupture of tube
    07/01/01 - Divorced
    05/30/09 - Re-married to a wonderful man!
    11/11/09 - Miscarriage #2 - 10 wks 3 days, D&C
    Dx: Unexplained
    07/30/10 - 10/19/10 - IUI #1 - IUI #4 clomid cd2-6 + premarin cd7-13 + HCG Trigger=BFFN's
    11/10/10 - IVF #1 Start stims ER#1 11/22, ER #2 11/24, ET 11/29=BFFN
    03/14/11 - IVF #2 start stims, ER-03/26/11, ET-03/31/11, beta 04/08/11 = BFFN
    05/16/11 - Hail Mary Cycle - Inj+TI =BFP!! 06/08/11 Beta #1 71.8, 06/10/11 Beta #2 201, U/S 6/20-1 sac. U/S 6/28 sac and hb of 118!!
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  • Gees! Some people are so insensitive. I'm sorry (((hugs)))
    Stacy
    PCOS, RPL, & Anti Cardiolipin Antibody
  • Wow... how awful! I'm sorry you had to deal with that... that's the last thing you need right now. Take good care!
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  • I'm so very sorry you are going through this.  I'm sure there's little I can say to help.  I went through a D&C a few months ago and it was very scary and emotional, but it did enable us to keep moving forward.  (We waited a while for my body to do it with no success).  I didn't want anyone but my husband and I dodged calls and such from the rest of the family.  Take some time to heal and go easy on yourself.

    Your friend is wrapped up in her world and probably doesn't mean to be rude, but damn,.... she is being rude in this case! 

     but my heart just breaks for you... no one really understands until they are in those terrible ugly shoes.  Take care of yourself!!!!

    Lovey and I married Oct 2005 He's 34; I'm 33
    TTC since October 2007 DX: MFI
    #1 & #2: Fall 2009 - 2 rounds of Clomid - BFN's
    #3: April 2010: IVF w/ ICSI - BFP but then....blighted ovum, D&C 5/26/10
    #4: 8/27/10 - FET = BFN :(
    #5: FET #2 - 10/28/10, 2 embryos... BFN
    #6: IVF w/ ICSI & AH ER 3/5/2011; 6-day trx 2 blasts 3/11 BFP!!! HB @ 6weeks but it was gone a few days later. D&C 4/8/11
    #7: IVF w/ ICSI & AH ER 8/29/11; 6 day trx 2 blasts, BFP!! (3 totsicles too) HB seen at 7 weeks, but was gone at 8.5 weeks. D&C 10/14/11 HEARTBROKEN!!
    #8 FET - 4/6/12, 1 embryo.....
    **** SAIFW ****
  • Completely insensitive! I'm sorry patchen. (((hugs)))
    DX PCOS w/IR 01/08.
    Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
     
    My IF/Everything Blog
    There's No Crying in Baseball
    ***My posts are always SAIFW**
  • /hugs
    Our Girls
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    AquinnahDori
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • People really are clueless.  I sit next to a pregnant woman due within two weeks of my EDD for my last loss and she comes in and complains every day abou ther swollen ankles and big belly.  Honestly?  The other day I actually told her that I would be happy to trade with her.  That shut her up - for about five minutes.

    Unfortunately, people just don't understand the incredible hurt and grief that come along with miscarriage, much less miscarriage plus infertility.

    Huge hugs to you and go ahead and hide from the world, there's nothing wrong with that.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

  • Ugh - people can be so insensitive! I'm with you - F her!
  • OMG, I am so sorry Patchen!  She sounds very self centered!  Big ((hugs))
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  • Wow.  That was incredibly insensitive.  I am so sorry...I would want to get under the covers, too!
    Stopped BCPs December 2008 TTC since June 2009 6 unsuccessful Clomid cycles Dx Annovulatory due to PCOS January 2010 DH-perfect 4 unsuccessful IUIs Began Lupron July 7 for first IVF IVF cancelled; overstimulation and coasting lead to huge drop in E2 New testing with an Endocrinologist...perhaps a new diagnosis... So, not PCOS but Hashimoto's Thyroiditis November 2010 After a looong break, started seeing a new RE. Gearing up for IVF 1.2. Beta 1=197!! BabyFruit Ticker image
  • Oh.Em.Gee, just when you think people couldn't get anymore insensitive and clueless. I'm sorry! HUGS
    Married '02, TTC May '05

    Dx -Ute cancer, DOR from cancer treatments, and embryo quality issues. NOV 2010 CANCER FREE
    2005-2011= 3 Rounds of Clomid, 5 IUI's, 3 IVF's- ALL BFN's
    After 7yrs TTC, 5yrs of ute cancer, and 11 failed IF treatments, we got a surprise BFP! So thankful!

    Gemma Grace born 09/30/12

    Phillipians 4:6,7

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