TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

Can we all agree on something?

Being here sucks, no matter how long we have been here or how much TTC time we have served.  It isn't a competition.  It shouldn't matter who has been here the longest or the shortest amount of time.  ALL of our experiences suck and we have put in a lot of time trying to achieve our dream to only get heartbreaking results. 

I have seen things on here and on the regular TTCAL board.  Phishing for a BFP at 5 DPO and then calling it a CP will not give you street cred, just like saying you have been on here trying for XXX amount of years before TTCAL and then XXX amount of years after TTCAL so you should have better street cred then anyone else on here.  WTF!!???  We have all had the universe kick the crap out of us and have done a lot of time for it, so lets just leave it at that, ok?

I will never understand why people have to compete in stupid pain games like that.  

Forever buddy to Angelica; Natural Miscarriage Jan. 2008 @ 11 weeks; 2 years of BFFN's; DX: Unexplained IF (RE thinks IF is due to tubal issues); IUI #1 & 2= BFFN; IUI#3 = BFP, resulted in Cornual ectopic pregnancy; IUI #4 - 6 =BFFN; Our next endeavor... IVF. 1 grade AA embryo transferred on 4-23-2011 and 5 frosties. BFP Abby born 1/5/2012

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Re: Can we all agree on something?

  • Yes

    I totally agree

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  • agreed
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  • Yes 100% agree.  We're here to support each other, not compete with each other.
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    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
  • I totally agree.  Being here sucks!!!  At least there are some awesome people to be here with.
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  • And this post tells me that I should skip going back and catching up on older posts.  I don't even want to know.
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  • Agreed.
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  • agreed..I'm sorry my post started up another competition..I was just really cranky and b!tching about still being here..
  • I agree and I apologize if my comment started something.  I didn't think that kind of one-upping was appropriate and that is why I have never asked the question.  I didn't want it to turn into that, and I thought it was understood that we all agreed.  Again, I am sorry if I caused pain, that was truly not my intention.
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  • imagehbkises:
    agreed..I'm sorry my post started up another competition..I was just really cranky and b!tching about still being here..

    I know it wasn't intentional, but any time something like that is brought up, it can divide the board.  I understand the feelings, believe me.  It unintentionally shines the spotlight on those of us who have unfortunately been TTC since the dark ages - which is what no one wants- believe me!  Many of the people I joined the board with are on #2 and on PgAL.  It sucks-all round sucks-and I wouldn't wish this heartache on my worst enemy.  I know no one wants to be here and I know the feeling of watching all your friends leave (it has happened to me more than once, and will probably continue to happen and there is nothing I can do about it).  It's hard.  But there are many people who are STILL here.  Being an "oldie" isn't easy- just like getting older isn't easy. 

    Forever buddy to Angelica; Natural Miscarriage Jan. 2008 @ 11 weeks; 2 years of BFFN's; DX: Unexplained IF (RE thinks IF is due to tubal issues); IUI #1 & 2= BFFN; IUI#3 = BFP, resulted in Cornual ectopic pregnancy; IUI #4 - 6 =BFFN; Our next endeavor... IVF. 1 grade AA embryo transferred on 4-23-2011 and 5 frosties. BFP Abby born 1/5/2012

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  • imagesuntoto:

    imagehbkises:
    agreed..I'm sorry my post started up another competition..I was just really cranky and b!tching about still being here..

    I know it wasn't intentional, but any time something like that is brought up, it can divide the board.  I understand the feelings, believe me.  It unintentionally shines the spotlight on those of us who have unfortunately been TTC since the dark ages - which is what no one wants- believe me!  Many of the people I joined the board with are on #2 and on PgAL.  It sucks-all round sucks-and I wouldn't wish this heartache on my worst enemy.  I know no one wants to be here and I know the feeling of watching all your friends leave (it has happened to me more than once, and will probably continue to happen and there is nothing I can do about it).  It's hard.  But there are many people who are STILL here.  Being an "oldie" isn't easy- just like getting older isn't easy. 

    Smile thanks for understanding. 
  • Laura, I don't really think anyone was competing for the title of "longest TTCAL member".  If you're referring to yesterdays post, I took the poster as saying that she's been here too long and when I responded, I responded with sarcasm expressing that I knew exactly how she felt.  I truly don't believe that ANYONE read the post and thought, "Yes, I'm going to win this one". 

    As God as my witness, I can't believe that anyone would actually read yesterday's post and consider it a time for competition.  There is nothing to be won, no position to be taken, there is just pain.  An inexpressible amount of pain. 

    Yes, I agree, it sucks being here. 

    Thank you TTCAL and IF board. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

    Miscarried December of 2008, Ectopic Pregnancy November of 2009

    IVF #1 = BFN | IVF #2 = BFP: 9dp5dt (399), 14dp5dt (2489)

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  • No. In no way do I agree. I bet I can piss further than you, so therefore I win!
    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • I feel bad.
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  • imagelunatwo:
    I feel bad.

    ::hugs:: No one should feel bad.  You didn't do anything!

    I hate those posts (and I know the OP didn't mean it that way, so I'm not flaming you :)) for two reasons - they make those ladies who have been around a while feel worse for still being here, and they make those ladies who haven't been around as long feel bad too, like they should feel less deserving or less in pain.  No one wins from "competing" and it's not a competition.  We're all in pain, it sucks for all of us :(

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  • imageeminbmore:

    imagelunatwo:
    I feel bad.

    ::hugs:: No one should feel bad.  You didn't do anything!

    I hate those posts (and I know the OP didn't mean it that way, so I'm not flaming you :)) for two reasons - they make those ladies who have been around a while feel worse for still being here, and they make those ladies who haven't been around as long feel bad too, like they should feel less deserving or less in pain.  No one wins from "competing" and it's not a competition.  We're all in pain, it sucks for all of us :(

    Beautifully stated, Emily.  This is why that post bothered me.  It wasn't intentional, which I know, but it makes everyone feel bad.  

    Luna, I love you.  I want the best for you!  

    Forever buddy to Angelica; Natural Miscarriage Jan. 2008 @ 11 weeks; 2 years of BFFN's; DX: Unexplained IF (RE thinks IF is due to tubal issues); IUI #1 & 2= BFFN; IUI#3 = BFP, resulted in Cornual ectopic pregnancy; IUI #4 - 6 =BFFN; Our next endeavor... IVF. 1 grade AA embryo transferred on 4-23-2011 and 5 frosties. BFP Abby born 1/5/2012

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  • I agree, hope I didn't hurt anyone with my answer to that thread. I never thought of it as a competition was more of a vent for me. This is the only place I feel I can vent and I'm understood. None of my irl friends or family understand.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

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    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

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  • 100% agree with you
  • I totally agree with you Suntoto.
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