Sleeping issues (sensitive topic in post)

Gummybear · November 2010

I was wondering if anyone else had sleeping issues? My Dr. gave me Ambien after the loss, and I used them all, and was doing well for a while. But lately, I have been having trouble sleeping again. I take a lot of Benedryl now, which I feel is a bad habit.

I just hate laying in my bed. My mind starts racing. I start thinking about things -- one thing I never mentioned on the big TTCAL board because it's just so personal and terrible is that in August my cousin was killed. He got out of his car on I95 and was hit by an 18 wheeler. We grew up down the street from each other. I cannot stand thinking about it, and my poor aunt and uncle, and when I am alone and quiet I think about those last moments and how horrific it must have been. I can't stop thinking about it or his parents and sisters nd how terrible it is for them, then I get hysterical, and then I race to TTCAL, and I am up until 3 AM.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I need to "talk" about it or if I should get more Ambien. Anyone have any advice?

VeilSdeGTO · November 2010

I am sorry you've had to keep this inside for so long. I would probably stay away from getting more ambien. Maybe talking about it will help.

It is always difficult to deal with loss. If you decide to talk to someone and they think medication is the way to go, that's fine. However, I would try other means first. ((hugs))

DoingItRight · November 2010

{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} I hope that you can figure out a way to sleep. I think that talking with someone might be a good way to start.

AutumnLeavesFall · November 2010

It's tramatic stress that is bothing you. I do the same thing.

I'm very sorry about your cousin, it's a horrible accident. When I use to volenterr for the fire department in my town ( about 12 yrs ago) my first call was a drunk driver who was ejected from his soft top jeep and hit by an 18 wheeler. It was horrific to see, and like you (even though you didn't see it) my mind raced, what if this person did this, or if they were 10 minuets later that, or if they had not been drinking would it even have happened. Than it went on to their family and friends.

I mostly lay in bed now and let my mind race about $$ and if I pay this off or that off how much we can put away for savings, and than I start stressing that our life is horrible because I didn't put $100 extra away a month.

I started going to counseling. And it's helped alot.

I think the ambian will help, but it will also mask the problem that something is itching to get out, and until you do it's just going to build and build.

((HUGS)) I'm always around to listen if you want to chat.

HugginAngel · November 2010

I definately think that talking with someone would help more than more Ambien at this moment. Getting it off your mind and grieving through it will help you then go for the ambien to help the sleep part. But the ambien will just be a mask of the things bothering you until you deal with the pain/loss

Gummybear · November 2010

Thanks everyone.

I think I am going to need to talk about it. I appreciate all your advice.

Autumn I am sorry you saw that too. It's horrific. My cousin wasn't drunk or anything but he was depressed. I'll leave it at that. From everyhting I read it was instant. I sure hope so for his sake

suntoto · November 2010

Can you try melatonin? It is supposed to help with egg quality and make you sleepy. Take the 3 one. I think there is a 5 one, but that is too much.

Gummybear · November 2010

Sunoto I have used Melatonin in the past and liked it. I have read conflicting information of how it affects O though, which is why I stopped. I would love to be able to take it during TTC though I need to Google!

*off to read more*

jillcanada · November 2010

I'm so sorry that this happened, Gummy. I wouldn't be able to sleep either. I think Suntoto's suggestion to use Melatonin is great. I've used it in the past. And yes, talking to someone, or even writing about it in a journal to just get it down before you go to bed, or when you wake up.

suntoto · November 2010

Here you go...

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20100915/Hormone-melatonin-improves-egg-quality-in-IVF.aspx

Pixiestx · November 2010

I'm so sorry about your cousin. I think it's good that you recognized that ambien isn't really a long term solution.

Gummybear · November 2010

suntoto:

Here you go...

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20100915/Hormone-melatonin-improves-egg-quality-in-IVF.aspx

Thank you! Everything Ihad been reading was old and kind of wishy-washy.

I will happily add Melatonin to the mix, I have some in my cabinet. I also added Wheatgrass this cycle but I am crashing and burning today anyway.

hbkises · November 2010

DoingItRight:
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} I hope that you can figure out a way to sleep. I think that talking with someone might be a good way to start.

((big hugs)) agreed. I usually feel better when I talk about it..you know you can always talk to us but also find someone professional to talk to...hopefully you find a way to sleep well soon.

surfergirlkona · November 2010

I am so very sorry for the loss of your cousin. Tragic and heartbreaking. Grief will manifest itself in many ways. By medicating symptoms you are only temporarily "fixing" the problem. I agree, talking to someone you trust will help you in a safe and beneficial way. Big hugs. I am so sorry.

ColindaP · November 2010

I'm so sorry. That is an awful way to be kept awake. Have you considered seeing a therapist? Maybe one trained in mind/body techniques could give you some ideas to quiet your mind and help you fall asleep.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin. That is terrible.

RunSchwartzRun · November 2010

I'm so sorry. I think everyone has given great advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you and I hope you find some relief soon. ((hugs))

babygirlpriest · November 2010

There's nothing wrong with needing a sleeping aid for a while. My doc prescribed me something after my third loss before I even asked. She just said, "Here. I can't imagine you'll not need this at some point."

But it does sound like this is becoming something you're using far more frequently than you'd like and I understand being nervous about becoming too dependant - I would, too.

Obviously I think a good therapist would help quite a bit, but if you're open to it, maybe try yoga, meditation, relaxation cds, exercises, etc... and Suntoto's melat. idea sounds wonderful!

ColindaP · November 2010

One thing about the melatonin: it is important that it was used before IVF cycles in the study. High doses of melatonin can prevent natural ovulation,so if you're TTC naturally right now,talk to your doctor about correct dosage to ot impede ovulation.

millejj1 · November 2010

I think all the other ladies hit the nail on the head. Taking things helps on the short term, but things will find a way to work their way out until you deal with them. I bounce back and forth between being able to sleep and laying up all night worrying about things. $$, kids, life, work, etc.You shouldn't be afraid to talk to someone about it, I bet it helps.

I have found that if I get it out during the day or have relaxation techniques that I do before bedtime it helps a lot. If found that yoga at night is super helpful. Good luck! Hugs!

Olive44 · November 2010

(((hugs))) I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. It is totally understandable that you wouldn't be able to sleep. I agree that talking to someone would be a good idea. And feel free to vent here anytime.

Clerk9 · November 2010

I'm SO sorry about your cousin. And I agree with pps about looking into counseling...it can be invaluable just to get things off of your chest.

In the meantime, something I do when my mind is racing in bed (which happens more often than not) is to start focusing on different parts of my body (I start with my toes & work my way up) & consciously relaxing one body part at a time. It's not a race (I usually have to remind myself of this & slow down!) & I focus on that body part until it really feels relaxed. I never make it all the way to the top before falling asleep!

I hope that you are able to find some relief soon, no matter where it comes from. My thoughts & best wishes are with you...

Gummybear · November 2010

Thanks so much guys. I can't tell you how much this helps to talk about it. It's been weighing heavily on me and I never felt safe on the big board (I have a family member who I caught lurking).

I am going to talk to my Dr. She wanted to run some tests next month anyway if I wasn't KU. I had a therapist after the loss and I like her just fine, but I feel like I need more. The loss of the baby was horrible, but a lot of other bad things have happened since too so it's more of a mish mash of emotions rather than just bereavement (which is what she did, specifically pg. loss)

csquared426 · November 2010

Oh Gummy, I'm so sorry about the loss of your cousin.

I started seeing a therapist after my 3rd loss, and she specialized in fertility therapy. I hope you can find someone you feel comfortable with.

((HUGS))

butterfly843 · November 2010

((hugs)) so sorry for the loss of your cousin. I have been having issues sleeping recently, I think I will ask my dr at my next appt about the melatonin.

pennynjon · November 2010

I know I am not part of this board, but I lurk here to see how you ladies that have moved from TTCAL are doing. I am so sorry that you are going through that. I had HORRIBLE insomnia after Ella passed for months. My doctor prescribed ambien too. I think I got dependent on it. I took it for months and couldn't sleep at all without it. I would lay in bed and relive moments over and over. It was horrible. I weaned myself down to half a pill, then a fourth, and then I finally just stopped. I think I went three or four days straight without sleeping. I never want to take it again. I am seeing a Christian counselor now. And I am sleeping much better. I think it would probably help you to talk to someone too. I really hope it gets better for you soon. ((hugs))

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