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Babies on the Brain
RachelG83
member
Ok I have a friend (IF related & longish) Help please.
RachelG83
member
I've been hesitating to bring this up because I have no idea where she's lurking. She found out about my IF by seeing a comment I made on the 999 Reasons to Laugh at IF blog and has been asking me questions and telling me her story. I'm really worried about her and might DD this later but please help me figure out what to tell her. I don't know what's wrong w/me not being able to remember all of this crap - I think I'm just stunned that she's going through it and is making some not-so-great decisions.
I went to college with this girl. We were pretty close while we were there. She's about to be 25 and has been TTC since April. She told me she's had a past of cysts on her ovaries before. She's seeing an OB who is a "family friend" (red flag for me right there) and since she's a "family friend" she's willing to "help" her with IF stuff faster than other OBs would be (again with the side eye).
The OB started her on metformin but I don't see this girl as having a lot of the tell tale signs/symptoms of PCOS and she's certainly not diabetic. She told me that the met makes her totally sick, has no appetite, her hair's falling out like crazy and her skin has gotten bad since being on it. I asked her WHY her doctor put her on it. Her OB is going to put her on clomid and told her that "clomid has a better success rate when used with metformin".
She told me she's not ovulating and her chart looked pretty rough. Her dr had her on Provera to start her period before starting clomid. OB is supposedly monitoring before giving her the clomid.
First of all I feel like she's hitting the IF treatment a little soon and I feel like she's falling into the "I really want to be pregnant and I really like my doctor" trap and I'm worried about her.
Thoughts? What would you tell her?
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Re: Ok I have a friend (IF related & longish) Help please.
I would just tell her that IF treatments are risky and she really shouldn't be doing them without proper testing. If she's charting correctly and not ovulating, she can get in for said testing sooner so I wouldn't say anything to her about her timeline.
Her H needs to have a SA and she needs bloodwork, an ultrasound, and an HSG at the very least before starting clomid.
And I don't see anything wrong with the met. I am not IR but I am taking it. If it makes her sick she needs to talk to her doctor about it, though.
A few things,
has her dh had a SA?
has she had a hsg to see if her tubes are clear?
or Day 3 testing?
Those are things I can think of off the top of my head!
I went through a kind of similar thing with my sister. You are doing better than me. I blew up at her and we didn't talk for a few days.
After the dust settled with my sister, I just tried to educate her a little more. It was kind of casual but I was a bit forceful too. She spent too much time with google, I think.
I hope the unnecessary meds don't do more harm than good to your friend.
FET: Success! Beta at 14dp5dt: 2427 TWINS!!
I can't offer too much advice here, but I will say that I don't have many of the tell tale symptoms of PCOS and I'm not diabetic (good glucose results), but my insulin levels were high, so my doctor is discussing starting Met with me next cycle. Could that be a possibility?
It would be weird to me, personally, to see a "family friend" and having them all up in my vag, but to each their own.
Honestly, I probably wouldn't say much to her about it. Some doctors have different ways of approaching things, and it's hard when it's your own doctor telling you one thing and you hear another person who has heard it another way. Maybe if you said anything it would be to suggest seeing another doctor and getting a second opinion since she's clearly not having success with the regiment her current doctor has her on, and she's been so sick.
Good luck. You're a good friend.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I can understand your concern but think there isn't much you can do or say.
If you have a dx infertility issue (not sure if she does) then there honestly is no need to put in the traditional 12 months. I have had lots of friends go on Clomid for PCOS and other dx IF issues before the 12 month mark with much success.
Unfortunately, even if her doctor is a quack, nothing you say will be able to overcome the fact that he has an MD behind his name and that he is a family friend. There is trust and knowledge there that would be hard to overcome. And the fact is, you probably don't know everything. SHE might not even understand everything (I know for me, learning my IF issues was quite the experience and I did a TON of reading and research on the side to get a clear picture of my situation).
Kudos to you for your concern, but I would be supportive of her in a way that isn't trying to debate her doctor. Unless you speak directly to that doctor and know that he is intentionally going against standard of care then you honestly don't have much leverage.
I would totally say something to her about it.
I would ask if she'd done the testing beforehand and tell her flat out that clomid is not candy. Especially with metformin. I had one cycle with clomid after a few months on met and had a ridiculous amount of follies. Had a few more been mature we would have certainly tanked that cycle.
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
She's been asking me about it and about my experience so I'm telling her about exactly what I went through and how many doctors I have seen just handing out clomid like it's candy as mentioned above.
I told her I had a similar situation w/an OB that I really liked but he wasn't listening to me and wouldn't hear what I had to say so I finally left. I suggested getting a second opinion just to see how it goes.
I don't know if she's been Dx with an IF issue yet or if it's just her own self diagnosis based on her charts.
She's been asking me a lot of questions so I'm trying to answer the best I can but I know I'm forgetting stuff - that's why I asked
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Do you know when she went off bcp?
I would have zero issue telling her that impatience does not an infertile make.
Way I see it is, I can be a biitch up front and hope that they take the advice/warning/what have you, or I can sit back and hope that nothing bad happens and if it did I can then be all "oh yea well I had a feeling something like that could happen but didn't want to say anything."
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
As I said, doctors have many ways of approaching it. While you (and others) may think monitoring Clomid at 50mg is extremely important (and I'm not saying it isn't), my doctor didn't feel it necessary to monitor on 50mg. However, she felt it very important once increasing the dose to 100 to begin monitoring and I've had 3 ultrasounds now in one cycle. You may think my doctor is an idiot, but I trust her expertise and longstanding doctor/patient relationship I've had with her for 10 years. It is what it is.
All I'm saying is, while it does sound like many things aren't adding up with OP's friend and her doctor, and she may very well have a quack doctor situation that she should run away from, sometimes even two doctors within the same practice will tell you a different way to go about things.
ITA.
I feel like she's got blinders on. She just messaged me back on FB. I'm just stunned.
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I could see that argument working if the issue at hand was something like ways to treat a blister.
But when it comes to the risk of HOM or hyperstimming? Yea, I'd go ahead and drop that "10 year relationship" for someone who was a little bit more cautious.
Monitoring not important with "just" 50 mg of clomid? Monkeys fly out my ass at night.
"It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
"Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
FTW
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I think your best bet is to stress how extremely important it is for her to be the No. 1 expert on her body and learn all she can. Doctors work in teams for a reason, and one should never put all their health eggs into one basket.
I agree with that too - idk what the OB situation is there (how many are in the practice or whatever) that's why I keep recommending she get a second opinion before jumping in head first.
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More info coming in: She went off BCP in April and is starting her 6th cycle - she says she's only ovulated once.
No HSG, no CD3 testing.
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1) Is she temping properly? IE: after 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep and at the same time every morning and without drinking anything first?
2) Does she realize it could take her body a year to regulate after coming off BCP?
3) This one almost sounds like a lost cause. Which is sad because she's the reason people who have legitimate problems can't get help.
And it's really sad to me because she seems so intelligent and this doesn't seem like her.
I'll check on the other stuff. She's using FF but that doesn't mean she's doing it right.
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