My DH and I said good-bye to our DD Emily on October 18. She was born still at 20 weeks because of triploidy. We are certainly grieving and getting help(bereavement group, counseling) and I know that this is not something that you ever get over. That being said, I have such a strong urge to try again after first AF(doc said o.k.) which technically should be coming in the next 2 weeks. It's not as though I think that I can "re-do" anything or replace my Emily- I really feel very clear minded about this. Does this sound crazy or way too soon? As sure as I feel about this, the last thing I want to do is make a "bad decision" right now. TIA for any thoughts or insight
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Re: Please tell me if I'm crazy
Doesn't sound crazy to me at all! I think you're ready for a baby and although you will still be grieving Emily, you can also move forward with creating the rest of your family.
Im so sorry for your loss. I don;t think it's too soon to try again. I was extremely depressed about my loss (and still am), but at the same time I wanted AF to show up so we could start trying.
Some people are afraid to start trying again, but others arent. Everyone has different feelings and handle their losses differently.
GL to you! ((hugs))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so sorry for your loss. I dont think you're crazy. I'm in the same boat as you are. I loss my pregnancy on Oct. 29, and I really want to try again very soon. I dont think that you are trying to replace your little Emily, I just think that you really want to be a mother, and you will not stop until you have your baby in your arms. We all feel like that.
I am so sorry for your loss. And no, I don't think you are crazy. As long as you and DH are emotionally ready to try again, and that you two have taken the time you need to grieve your precious Emily. There will always be a part of you and DH that will grieve for your LO, but there is a different type of grieving, I feel, that occurs immediately following a miscarriage/pregnancy loss. Good luck trying on your next cycle!
PS: Where abouts are you from on LI? DH and I are originally from Suffolk County. We moved to PA about 5 years ago. PA is definitely NOT the same as LI, and we miss it very much.
Exactly this!! I am so sorry for your loss
I don't think you sound crazy, but I do think you need to allow yourself enough time to grieve though. I know you said you went to counseling and all, but seriously one month just doesn't seem like enough time to me. I lost my baby before I even saw a heartbeat and I still needed time to get myself back to a healthy emotional place.
Truth be told, everyone is different and if you feel inclined to then you will and should.
I grew up in West Islip (also south shore), moved to Islip my 9th grade year, and then finish High School in Rocky Point (north shore, by Port Jefferson). We miss LI, and tried to move back 2 years ago, but after being here for then, 3 years, it was too much to move back. It's very expensive to live there, and for what we would pay for a house here is WAY less than what we would pay for a house there - and we'd have more house and property here.. We still get down to LI almost once a month. DH's BF lives there, and my entire family is still there. It's definitely a different world here, that's for sure! And I do miss it very much.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I don't think you are crazy, you can't help the way you feel.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
This. I am so very sorry you lost your little one!
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
Homestudy 7/19/2011
IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frosties
Welcome to the board and I am so sorry for the loss of your Emily. I don't think you are crazy at all. It wasn't just your baby that died, but so did your dreams and hopes that she brought. There is nothing wrong or crazy with you wanting to fulfill those dreams.
We have a TTCAL blog if you would like to check it out when you have a chance. The link is in the bottom of my siggy.