I have started to type this post several times. My daughter is 7 weeks old and I have my PP appointment this afternoon.
I don't know if what is going on is PPD or maybe just anger or maybe just frustration, or even sleep deprevation.
I have 4 children. The newborn, a 14 month old, a 4 yr old, and a teenager. I am a SAHM. And, while my husband "helps" he is not really helpful when it is really needed. He does not get up at night, he does not follow the schedule when I am out of the house, etc.
I am getting very upset over the little things, most of the time it relates to the lack of help. And, I feel like sometimes when I leave the house - I want to take my time getting home - almost on spite. It seems like my husband just does not think about me, or things that I need.
I am even getting upset thinking about getting upset.
I leave the house with the 3 little ones all the time, and while it is hard (physically), I do it all the time, I take care of all the kids just fine, I don't want to harm myself or my children.
I was fine in the begining. But, on sat something happened that I was almost embarressed about.
I left the house on Sat to go shopping. I had to get something to wear to my daughter's baptism. I went to the stores that are not even close to us, just so I could be out of the house for a longer time.
I ran into a friend, who said, "out without the kiddies?" When I started to tell her that I just needed a break - I started bawling.
Again, i don't know if this is PPD, or maybe I am just really pissed at my husband and it is coming out as tears.
I know I really need to talk to my husband about all the things that are getting me mad - and I know that the newborn stage does get better. But, right now - I am afraid that I will lie on the PPD questionaire that I know I will be taking later.
I have so many things floating around my head - more background stuff - but it is too much to type.