DH informed me yesterday that he plans on hunting from dawn until dark on Thanksgiving, which is fine I suppose. He says to me today that if I don't want to spend the holiday alone I can just go to his mom's, that way if he changes his mind and decides to come in early he'll meet us there. Well in my opinion if he has decided he's not spending the day with us then I should be able to decide who I want to spend it with. My family all lives out of town (about 2 hrs away) so I figured I would just go home. He's giving me flack about it. What would you do?
J.W.S & M.T.L. 5-3-09
Our little man joined our family 4-5-10
Re: WWYD Re: Thanksgiving plans
I would be miffed that DH didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with the family.
If he were to blow us off that day I wouldn't care what he wanted.
If I wanted to go home, I would.
?
First of all, I wouldn't be okay with this. I wouldn't say "That's fine, I suppose..." so the question on what I would do is different from what you would do from the very beginning.
But, aside from that, if he chooses to spend Thanksgiving away from his family, I really don't think he gets a say in how you choose to spend it and who you spend it with. Thanksgiving at his mom's shouldn't be a back up plan for him in case he changes his mind about hunting. But that's just my opinion...
I'd go see my family. If he's so hell bent on you going to his mom's, then tell him he needs to be there too.
I get people being die-hard hunters, but I'm surprised he doesn't want to be there for your son's 1st Thanksgiving! Why can't he go hunting on a different day?
I would totally go see my family.
If he has made plans that is cool, but you should be able to make your own. No point sticking around on the off chance he will change his mind. My DH likes to do this too sometimes, drives me bananas! Now if I know he is going to be busy all weekend LO and I will just take off to my parents for the weekend. I am home with LO all day and by the time the weekend comes I want to spend time with other people, get some help doing things etc. He gets kinda pouty about it because then he is all alone at night, he's just going to have to learn to suck it up.
My thoughts exactly.
Just to clarify, he hunts every year on Thanksgiving, most of the men in his family do, but usually they come in around 11am. I'm not sure why he's saying out all day this year, he's commented a few times that he's not been out as much as he would like to be.
I still think that this is something that should have been discussed as a couple....especially on a holiday. We have all missed out of things we would like to do.
Buy some arsenic now and start slowly poisoning him.
DH doesn't get to skip out on family holidays but if he decided too, I certainly wouldn't even tell him where I would be.
This.
My DH would still be looking for his balls if he informed me he was going hunting on a family holiday.
I would tell him that if he gets to choose how to spend his day, so do you.
My uncle did the same thing every year, hunting on Thankgiving. I think it caused a lot of resentment.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
1. It would totally peeve me if my DH announced that he was going hunting.
2. If he made the decision alone that he was going hunting, that would make me believe I was allowed to make the decision about what I wanted to do, which would be visit my family.
3. I would want to talk to DH about making plans as a family instead of on his own in the future.