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January 2011 Moms
Advice needed about my mom / day ....
my parents, hubby and i are all REALLY close...honestly my hubby and dad are best friends and so are my mom and i
my mom is SO excited about her 1st grandchild and i feel like she is going WAY over board on the spending
i had registered for the $500 newco glider and ottoman at BRU (just for fun...knowing i wouldn't get it) but i got to my shower this weekend and my parents had bought us a $1000.00 glider/rocker/swiveler from la-Z-boy...of course it's absoutely amazing but honestly it's too much money for me to even wrap my head around...it makes me feel guilty even though i know they want to buy all of this stuff...
well to top it off when we got home last night they had the stroller/ car seat travel system shipped to us...and she keeps talking about how they are going to buy the changing table and breast pump too
how do i let them know i appreciate everything that they are doing but that it's all really over the top and overwhelming for me without hurting their feelings?
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Re: Advice needed about my mom / day ....
There really isn't much you can do with this...My MIL is the same way as this is her first grandchild. All you can do is keep telling them that they really don't have to do this and tell them how appreciative you are but other then that...just enjoy the generosity.
I know if I ever tried to give back something my MIL gave me she would think it was b/c I didn't like it and now b/c I thought it was too much
tell them they can send it my way
lol I dont think you will hurt their feelings if you tell them "thanks mom/dad but you don?t need to buy so many things, we are good, if we feel we need something we will let you know of it in case you want to continue helping us"
I have tried in the past (before baby) to let my mother know that I don't need big ticket gifts or lots of money spent on me to make me happy. Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable! Esp. since she lives in a crummy little house and takes in renters who are always giving her greif.
But when I protest she always responds by telling me that she lives simply because she's been saving all this money for retirement, and now that she's retired, she's going to spend it on the people she loves most. I gave up arguing with her and just accept that this is how she wants to show me love. SO with baby on the way, I just figure she'll probably go crazy buying things off the registry, and I'll just smile and say "thank you" even if I think it's way too much... It's not worth arguing over anymore, at least for me.
People just love buying baby stuff. Especially grandparents.
Ive tried to tell my mom to slow down on the purchases and she just keeps telling me that she enjoys it and should just let her be, so we do.
Our solution to this was to, after the shower, take down the bulk of our registries, leaving the little things, mostly textiles, teething/feeding stuff & toys. I spreadsheeted the stuff we still needed, but I don't need my parents (who CANNOT afford this stuff!) going nuts with the big ticket items we have left to purchase.
Keep in mind though that this may backfire... after altering it, my MIL has bought us at least 2 different items that I explained to her are dangerous, and she keeps buying more ('infant positioners' and BundleMe-style bad ideas). Meh.
Write a niiiice thank you note.
I don't think there's much you can do. Unless they're broke and still spending their $$. In which case you should just tell them outright to stop.
They want to do it. It makes them happy, just go with it and enjoy it with them. My IL's do this and we just make a big deal over the stuff they buy. They love it.