Schedules for NICU visiting

caitdana · November 2010

Hi. I had my girls yesterday and I am already worried about if I am spending enough time with them and what I need to do on Monday when I get discharged. They were born at 27 weeks and so more than likely we will have 13 weeks of NICU. What kind of schedule do/did you keep? How often and for how long?

Bippy798 · November 2010

Only you can say whether you are spending enough time or not. It varies widely from person to person what they can handle. The NICU is very stressful. I could only manage about 3 hours total a day the first two weeks DS was in the NICU. Then I went back to work full time until he came home at 9 weeks old so I could only go in the evenings and we usually spent between 1 and 2 hours with him. There were a couple of times I spent almost the whole day there but it exhausted me. Congrats on your babies and I hope their NICU stay is short and uneventful.

lexismom1008 · November 2010

We lived far away from the hospital, so I spent my whole day and evening there. I left home at 7:30 am, fed him at 9:00 and 12:00, and came home around 2:00 pm to take a nap. DH got home around 3:30 pm and we would go back down at 4:30 to feed him at 6:00. We usually got home around 8:30 pm every night. DS was only there for 3 weeks. I can't imagine being at the hospital all day long for more than a couple of weeks. I think I would have had to cut back on my time there if he had stayed longer. It was exhausting, but totally worth it!! Congrats on your LOs.

njdcgirl · November 2010

Congrats on the birth of your LOs. I hope their NICU stay is uneventful.

I agree with pp's that this is really a personal decision, and there is no right or wrong answer. I'm still in the NICU journey - for the past 20 weeks. My son was 23w5d, and had a setback that bought him another 3 weeks or so right around his due date (hopefully coming home before Thanksgiving). It's exhausting, but I have been there everyday. I live about 30 minutes away, and have been lucky not to have to return to work yet. I usually go for 3-4 hours during the day and then back in the evening with my husband for another 1.5 - 2 hours. I try to skip a night or two each week just to give myself a break.

Honestly, I think I'm there more than most parents, and I learned very quickly that marathon days (8 -12 hours) were just not for me. I probably stay longer now that he is older and I can hold and feed him. In the beginning, I'd literally just sit by his bedside.

Good luck to you - it may take awhile to figure out a routine that is good for you, but you will.

Leigh71 · November 2010

My girls were in the NICU for 5 weeks. There was a pull-out bed/couch in their room, a recliner, and a tv. I was there daily. (most of the day). As they got closer to coming home, I roomed in/showered there. I agree with all the other posts.... it is what is good for you.

My husband was not comfortable at the hospital for any long periods of time... he found it stressful. I was stressed if I was at home, away from the girls...so, I would say that I was more relaxed at the hospital.

njdcgirl · November 2010

Leigh71:

My girls were in the NICU for 5 weeks. There was a pull-out bed/couch in their room, a recliner, and a tv. I was there daily. (most of the day). As they got closer to coming home, I roomed in/showered there. I agree with all the other posts.... it is what is good for you.

This would make a big difference for me. My hospital doesn't have private rooms, and we are literally in the middle of a room with 15 other babies. On a good day we get an uncomfortable rocker to sit on, other days just a rolling chair. When I want to pump, go to the bathroom, or eat something I need to leave the NICU. I would probably stay longer if I had the setup you did!

Bippy798 · November 2010

njdcgirl:
Leigh71:

My girls were in the NICU for 5 weeks. There was a pull-out bed/couch in their room, a recliner, and a tv. I was there daily. (most of the day). As they got closer to coming home, I roomed in/showered there. I agree with all the other posts.... it is what is good for you.

This would make a big difference for me. My hospital doesn't have private rooms, and we are literally in the middle of a room with 15 other babies. On a good day we get an uncomfortable rocker to sit on, other days just a rolling chair. When I want to pump, go to the bathroom, or eat something I need to leave the NICU. I would probably stay longer if I had the setup you did!

Ours was this way as well. No privacy whatsoever.

lexismom1008 · November 2010

Leigh71:
My girls were in the NICU for 5 weeks. There was a pull-out bed/couch in their room, a recliner, and a tv. I was there daily. (most of the day). As they got closer to coming home, I roomed in/showered there. I agree with all the other posts.... it is what is good for you.
My husband was not comfortable at the hospital for any long periods of time... he found it stressful. I was stressed if I was at home, away from the girls...so, I would say that I was more relaxed at the hospital.

Holy cow! That's awesome that they had that set up. I sat in a rocker for 6 hours a day and slept with my head in my lap on my boppy ;-).

ssg73 · November 2010

I agree with pp. It really depends on what you need. I was there every day (69 days). We lived about 20 min away but didn't go back and forth. Parking was a pain so we just valet parked when we got there and stayed put. We Would go in for her 2nd feeding of the day at about 11 am and stay until 7 or 8. We didn't have our own room and when we were in the intensive nursery we were on rolling chairs unless we were kangarooing. We had a bit more room when we moved to the less intensive nursery but still not private. There were 2 pumping rooms on the unit or you could pump bedside behind screens. It sounds like I was there all day but really we took breaks. We would be there for a feeding/caretime kangaroo if we could and then put her back in her isolette for a nap. Then we would leave the unit for a while. I prefered to pump in the communal pumping room that had a couch and a tv (and dw could come in with me and relax). Our nicu also had a outdoor patio that I would hang out in and get some fresh air. We also hung out with our family and friends alot there. Also we left the hospital every day to go out to lunch. It was a much needed break. We found a great place around the corner that we could grab a bite at the bar and sometimes a stiff drink if the day was going poorly! We would always be there for care times and as E got bigger and stronger and could be held more we hung out much more. I often napped with her in my recliner once we could get her out of her isolette ourselves.

So that is what I did but everyone is different. I would say take breaks if you are there for a long day. I also knit and read books while I was bedside. I read charlotte's web to Ella while we were in the hospital. I liked the idea of having something to do everyday and thought a chapter book would be something we could do each day for a little bit of time.

Leigh71 · November 2010

Bippy798:
njdcgirl:
Leigh71:

My girls were in the NICU for 5 weeks. There was a pull-out bed/couch in their room, a recliner, and a tv. I was there daily. (most of the day). As they got closer to coming home, I roomed in/showered there. I agree with all the other posts.... it is what is good for you.

This would make a big difference for me. My hospital doesn't have private rooms, and we are literally in the middle of a room with 15 other babies. On a good day we get an uncomfortable rocker to sit on, other days just a rolling chair. When I want to pump, go to the bathroom, or eat something I need to leave the NICU. I would probably stay longer if I had the setup you did!

Ours was this way as well. No privacy whatsoever.

The NICU was just remodeled. I called it the "Ritz Carlton" to all the nurses. It was beautiful. It was designed to be "Family Centered Care"....and the focus was on the families. I used to work NICU...and all the set ups I worked in.... we were in pods/big rooms...and had warmers and isolettes all bunched together.

I found it very loud for moms and families. (where I worked). The Nicu the girls were at.... all rooms were private. And I could draw the curtain, and pump in there on the couch/watching Tv. they even provided a hospital grade pump....and no one ever "stole" it from me. Each room had its own breast pump.

I have been on both sides of the fence... working NICU and being a Mom. I can say that I feel for the families. NICU is very stressful. I used to tell moms this: "before your baby comes home, .... I know you don't want to....but for them, do this for them.... go home and rest. You need to be on the top of your game when they are healthy enough to come home. Heal now, and rest. Visit as is comfortable for you. Call us anytime, 24 hours a day.... program our number into your phone. The more you rest, the faster you will heal and the more milk you will make for the LOs."

thomas2013 · November 2010

It all depends on what you think and when you feel you should be there. I was really lucky because I had a hospital thats NICU had family rooms. So I got to stay the whole 85 days he was there I only had to leave 2 nights. We could also call 24 hours and we were allowed to visit 24 hours a day also. So the 2 nights I had to go home I spent most of the night there anyhow. I do understand people have other kids and have to work and are not able to stay all the time.

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