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marriage issues, g tubes or chromosome stories?

Dani816 Dani816
in Preemies

we've got a little bit of everything going on right now. . .

1) mia is three months old and has had chronic eating issues since birth. we finally discovered that she was aspirating formula. now, she seems to have been left with a bit of a feeding aversion (she'll do an ounce or so and then just shut down or get upset). so the doctors had us place a g tube. (she just had the surgery two days ago).

2)  as part of this whole diagnosis, the doctors discovered that mia has a deletion on her 3rd chromosome. this explains her eating issues and why she was only 3 pounds 11 ounces at birth (at 37 weeks), but we're not sure what else it could mean (if anything). it's not a syndrome, and the doctors have literally never seen another deletion like hers.

3) throughout this whole time and hospital stays, my husband has totally dropped out of the picture. he has a history of depression, and he stopped taking his meds, stopped eating and sleeping, crashed our car (he was fine) and just generally became "paralyzed." every night, while i sleep in the hospital with mia, he sleeps at his parents (where his mom can wait on him hand and foot). i'm really working on holding it together and not hating him right now for being so useless in this difficult time.

anyway, i'm just wondering if any of you mamas have any experience with any of these three items. any advice? 

thanks, everyone! and i hope all of your little ones are doing great and growing well.

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Re: marriage issues, g tubes or chromosome stories?

  • ArvadaBrideArvadaBride

    How are you holding up?  You are going thru an amazing amount of stress and I"m sorry that your husband is not around much.  I can't imagine not having my husbands support. 

    I have no advice but want to give you my support.  You're doing an amazing job and I hope your LO is on the mend soon.

    Stay strong!

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  • lexismom1008lexismom1008 member
    I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Stay strong mama! T & P are with you and your LO.
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  • brighteyes888brighteyes888
    I would just focus on your beautiful baby right now, she needs you the most. You are blessed to have her and I'm hopeful she will pull through. There is nothing you can do about your husband at this time. You can only worry about your baby and it is up to him to snap out of it when he is ready to cope and deal.
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  • beyogabeyoga member

    I know you're in mama bear mode with her being so sick.  Sending T & P's to both of you.  Focus on your daughter and yourself.  Everything else can be worked out later.

    If you have a gift shop in the hospital, see if you can buy yourself a journal.  If not ask a friend/family member to get one for you.  Or even just a plain notebook.  This will give you a safe place to vent.

    As silly as it seems make sure you take a break every few hours even if its just out of the NICU and around the hospital.

    My thoughts are with you. 

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  • witt0198witt0198

    Well, I've had a husband with severe mental illness, a preemie, and he had to have a g-tube. Oh, and unrelated to the illness (snow storm), our car was totaled while DH was driving and DS was 1 1/2 months old and still in NICU.

     If you want to email me, I'm at witt0198@umn.edu

     

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  • lemen99lemen99 member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Lots of prayers to your LO and your family. I hope that you and your husband can get the help you need to make your marriage healthier again!
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