January 2011 Moms

Really Awful Story (sad)

I just got a call from my MIL... DH's best friend and his wife were pregnant and due in 3 weeks and she had been having a lot of issues with pre-e and other complications.  I guess she went into the hospital yesterday for an infection, was given antibiotics and they never hooked her up to the fetal monitor.  She went back in this afternoon because she was getting worse and when they went to look for the baby's heartbeat, they found the baby was already gone - and they think the baby has been gone for a few days.  I am in shock and disbelief, and I don't know how to break the news to DH... he is going to be absolutely devistated. 

I don't know what to say to them, I don't know how to even approach them.  I can't even imagine going through that at this point.  I guess they're going to have her deliver the baby later tonight.  Does anyone have any advice on how to approach them or what I should say to them?

Can I ask for some t&p's for DH's friend and his wife?  I'm sure they really need it right now.  Thanks girls, and sorry for the sad story. 

Re: Really Awful Story (sad)

  • I can't even imagine what they must be going through.  I would make them a dinner with a card and just drop it by their house (freeze it so if they don't find it right away its ok) or something like that.  That way, they can approach you when they need you or feel like they can.  Maybe send flowers if a meal isn't your thing?  Something that says "we are here for you" without putting it in their face that you are still pregnant with a healthy baby.
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  • I really dont know what to so or advice, just feel like crying :( just horrible.
  • I had a friend who also lost her baby late in pregnancy and now that I'm actually pregnant, I just can't imagine how devastating that would be. So, so sorry for your friends.

    I have no idea how the approach the situation but my heart just breaks to hear stories like this and I hope they find comfort in their families and friends.

  • I wish I could drop something by their house - they live 2 hours away and I can't drive :(  I'll definitely send flowers though.  My heart is breaking for them. 
  • imagewmramsel:
    I can't even imagine what they must be going through.  I would make them a dinner with a card and just drop it by their house (freeze it so if they don't find it right away its ok) or something like that.  That way, they can approach you when they need you or feel like they can.  Maybe send flowers if a meal isn't your thing?  Something that says "we are here for you" without putting it in their face that you are still pregnant with a healthy baby.

    I was thinking this same thing.  That would be awful.  Unimaginable.  T&P's for them. 

  • I could not imagine going through that and I do not know anyone who has ever went through this either. I am so sorry to hear about this and I am sending my Ts&Ps.
  • Very sad I am sending healing thoughts for all of you!  Maybe instead of flowers you could send a donation to the march of dimes in their name (or the baby's name if they had one picked out) I know if it were me I would want to hear from my friends so maybe dh should call his friend tonight or tomorrow since they are so close.
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  • I would just do what you're planning to do. And I'd keep sending emails or cards every once in a while, too. Sometimes it seems like people deluge you right when something awful happens, and then they disappear because they don't know what to do next. I'd just keep the contact going so they know that you are there for them, and that you are praying for their comfort. That is just so incredibly sad.
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