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the "preemie look"

angelynn8411angelynn8411
in Preemies

so i was casually talking to a friend about how i don't think people think my preemie is as cute as my first daughter. With my first people carried on and on about her, and my second, they don't say as much which is weird in my opinion because they look so much alike.

Her response was that she still had the "preemie look" which is hard for people because they're not used to seeing early babies. She said she didn't mean to offend me, just offer an explanation.

The thing is, I don't see it. I think she looks like a NB. Secondly, how in the heck am I supposed to take that comment?

Mom to 2 beautiful girls, 3 yrs and 22 months old. My 2nd was born at 32 weeks due to Rhogam failure/severe complications from Rh disease and is our miracle. She has bilateral auditory neuropathy and a cochlear implant, activated 4/5/2012 at 19 months. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Re: the "preemie look"

  • Kate621Kate621 member

    Someone made a similiar comment to me once. My ds has a flat head. For weeks he was only able to lay on his stomach because that was the only way he could keep his sats up. I was hurt. At that point I just wanted my kid to live. I didn't care what he looked like. People who have the nerve to make comments are clearly insensitive. Both of your daughters are beautiful! And healthy! Thats all that matters.

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  • shugs-n-sweetsshugs-n-sweets
    I've gotten some hurtful comments too.  Like the PP, my LO has a slightly flattened head and people always like to mention it.
    image. Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • victoriadays23victoriadays23

    You are right, i had my preemie @ 28wks 3 days gest. She was 2lbs 11oz and i thank God everyday she is here, and don't care what people think of her and long as she has our love she will be fine.PREEMIES ARE TRULY BLESSINGS FROM GOD!

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  • thomas2013thomas2013 member
    When I frist had my son there was a picture board up in the NICU waiting room, everyone kept asking me why there where so many pics of my son in the waiting room. I was confused. I went into the waiting room and saw the pics all of the babies pretty much looked the same; I even thought one was my son. I have heard over and over the preemie look. I don't think you should be offened about it becuase our children are still devoloping and coming into their own. At the time I was a little offended but I understand more now. My son is now almost 3 and has no traces of the "preemie look" anymore. They just need time.
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  • Leigh71Leigh71

    I'm a NICU nurse.... and a preemie mom.... and I find the comment rude.  People, well some people, have no social skills and no fliter on their mouths. 

    As a PP said.... I too, was just grateful my daughters were fighting and surviving each day.  The first 11 days.... my DD was very critical.  

    And..... your 2 girls are Beautiful!  And.... I have no idea which of your babies she is saying has a "preemie" look.... they look exactly alike and they are darling.

    TTC for 12 years. m/c 2009. BFP on New Year's 2010. Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • ArvadaBrideArvadaBride

    Your daughter's are beautiful.

    My doctor always called "the preemie look" toaster head.  Just weird and don't call my sweet girl that.  She is normal and will fill out in time.

    People need to think before they speak.  I'm sorry it was hurtful.

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  • Northof54Northof54 member

    First let me say your DD's are both beautiful :)

     

    But I have to say I do know what she means.  I also think she maybe shouldn't have said it..... but if she's a good friend she probably thought you were just casually talking... and of course didn't mean to offend.

    My GGG were born at 33.6 and one of them got quite sick (I had a placenta abruption).  She spent 27 days in the NICU, was pale, her head shaved, was the smallest and had IV's sticking out of her everywhere. 

    Because she was a triplet and the other two were off to the races growing, you could CLEARLY see the "preemie look" with her.

    Today they are 2 and she is stunning.  Just beautiful.  She had a rough start -- that's a fact. 

    *hugs*

    Dee
    DS - 40W6D - Oct 2004
    DS - 41W4D - March 2007
    GGG - 33W6D - July 2008
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  • DeutscherDeutscher

    I think she looks adorable! I have gotten several comments about my son too. Are they supposed to be some transparent monster that has a bar code because they weren't "fully baked"?

    The fact is, we have beautiful children who have fought tremendous battles and we should be proud of how strong and beautiful they are!

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  • morganoremorganore
    I hate when people make these comments before thinking that they could actually hurt your feelings....your DDs are absolutely adorable and look sooo alike! I've learned to just nod and walk away when comments like this are made. 
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  • brighteyes888brighteyes888
    I totally agree! I had mine at 34 weeks and remember being so scared and amazed once she came and so grateful she was with us and healthy. Who cares what people say!!!
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