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my baby is so attached!

willowcormarwillowcormar member
in Attachment Parenting
Everyone is telling me that Amy is spoiled because she wants to be held all the time and cries when you put her down or walk away.  But I do put her down and let her see that it's ok to sit alone and that I am always there for her. Is there anything I can do to help her figure out that if I put her down she is still ok? I don't think I have spoiled her. I don't think you can, but i do wear her a lot around the house. Any insight?
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Re: my baby is so attached!

  • someflower6someflower6 member
    not really... i think in general, babies like to be held. it's great that you're meeting that need.
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  • WildcatPrincessWildcatPrincess member
    At that age DD still wanted to be held all the time.  She'd go on the play mat, but only if I was right next to her, and she only looked at me not the toys.  Don't worry, nowadays DD cares more for her toys than me, lol.  This morning she has been on the floor in front of me the past hour and has only looked at me twice.  They grow into independent play, until then I'd keep her close!
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  • TabithaGoinsTabithaGoins

    You can't "spoil" a baby, it's an old concept and one that they have found is completely incorrect.  The article I'm linking talks about the study at John Hopkins that spoiled the spoiling theory.

    Your little one has only been in this world 3 months, she wants that comfort, hearing your heartbeat, walking with your steps, hearing your voice, all the things she found comfort in the womb with. Here's two links from Dr. Sears.  The first one is about "spoiling"..the other is about the benefits of bw'ing

    My favorite quote from the article about spoiling

    "Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs"

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T100200.asp

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051100.asp#T051103

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  • p&rmetzp&rmetz
    My daughter is a little older than yours and was the same way up until two weeks ago and now she loves chilling on her own. Give it time. She'll get there when she's ready.
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  • Starfish113Starfish113 member

    At 3 months, I could NEVER put DD down. She also hated to be worn at that age, so I carried her all the time. She is now much more independent and loves to roll on the floor and play. I'd keep holding her at this point, she'll gain independence over the next few months :)

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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member
    imageTabithaGoins:

    You can't "spoil" a baby, it's an old concept and one that they have found is completely incorrect.  The article I'm linking talks about the study at John Hopkins that spoiled the spoiling theory.

    Your little one has only been in this world 3 months, she wants that comfort, hearing your heartbeat, walking with your steps, hearing your voice, all the things she found comfort in the womb with. Here's two links from Dr. Sears.  The first one is about "spoiling"..the other is about the benefits of bw'ing

    My favorite quote from the article about spoiling

    "Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs"

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T100200.asp

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051100.asp#T051103

    I love that first link! I saved it to share down the road if needed.

    imageimageimage

    image
    More Green For Less Green

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  • MomOf2LittlesMomOf2Littles

    I think that it's okay!!  She'll grow out of that in a minute!!  :) 

    But you can put her down on the floor and then lay beside her or hover over her and talk and sing.  I did this with both of my babies.  They liked to get smothered with kisses and let me move their arms and legs to songs like itsy bitsy spider and wheels on the bus.  

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  • MomOf2LittlesMomOf2Littles
    imageTabithaGoins:
    My favorite quote from the article about spoiling

    "Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs"

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T100200.asp

    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051100.asp#T051103

     

    This is sooooo true...so soak it up while you can!!  My dd is sooooo independent now...and most would say I "spoiled" her much of her life.  For Heaven's sake, I nursed her to sleep EVERY night for 13 months!   Now she won't let me hold her much anymore and forget about kissing and hugging and snuggling.  It lasts about two seconds....with much complaining from her.  :)   

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  • AzaleaMAzaleaM
    She's only 3 months!  I held my babies nonstop, and my DS in particular practically lived in the mei tai.  I can say that they are both wonderfully independent and secure.  I firmly believe that there is NO such thing as holding a baby too much.
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