DH doesn't want me to EBF

rider5344 · November 2010

I was planning on EBF until I went back to work when DS is about 3 months old then pumping/bottle feeding as well as breast feeding. DH wants me to pump sometimes before then so that he can feed too. I think it's really sweet that he wants to do this but i'm not sure I really want to pump until I have to. How are you and DH handling this?

AimeeL85 · November 2010

I plan to pump sometimes so that others, mainly DH of course, can help with feedings. However, I know that some women end up really hating to pump, so if that turns out to be the case I'm sure I'll just want to always feed him myself. We'll just have to see what works!

Molluskwrangler · November 2010

AimeeL85:
I plan to pump sometimes so that others, mainly DH of course, can help with feedings. However, I know that some women end up really hating to pump, so if that turns out to be the case I'm sure I'll just want to always feed him myself. We'll just have to see what works!

This exactly.

JLSmith124 · November 2010

I am planning on pumping as well as BF so that DH can help with some of the overnight feedings.

Firedancer1013 · November 2010

As soon as LO begins to maintain a decent schedule of feeding and I see he is taking well and gaining weight, we plan on starting to pump and having DH and my parents bottle feed in addition to BF, to prepare LO for someone else doing it at daycare. I really don't want that added stress when I do go back to work of baby not taking anything because it's too new of a situation.

ReeseM · November 2010

I wouldn't worry about it too much yet. He will understand once baby is here how much work Bfing takes at first, and that you need to be the one to do it. After a few weeks, you may feel like taking a little break anyways, and thus change your mind about pumping every now and again.

dasaher · November 2010

I don't have a whole lot of time with baby after they're born, which really sucks...I will probably start pumping fairly soon after birth for a bunch of different reasons. I'm pretty sure I know what pump I want, but it's super expensive and the hospital here has pumps you can rent, so I'm going to try a couple to figure out which one works best for me. So I have to start sooner than right when I go back. In addition, I'm a stressy kind of person anyway, and the last thing I need is to try to learn how to pump RIGHT before I go back to work, so I will probably start pumping several weeks before going back to work. Not to mention what PPs have said - DH can help with feedings if I'm pumping!! Big Smile

Jenniferk08 · November 2010

If after the first month Lo is doing fine with BF I plan on pumping so that H can help with the over night feedings.

WannaBeCrunchyMama · November 2010

I plan to start pumping part time at about 5 ish weeks (whenever we have established good breastfeeding habits). I want DH to be able to feed LO as well as have the ability to leave LO with my mom or something if needed.

There is nothing wrong with LO getting a bottle of BM from his dad. A great opportunity for them to bond, since mom's been hoggin all the feeding time till then

erbear · November 2010

I think that's a perfectly reasonable request.

A couple of things to consider:

1. feeding a baby is bonding and there's no reason your husband shouldn't be involved in that

2. it's a pain in the ass to be the only one who can feed the baby

3.if you want your baby to take a bottle, you should start pumping and giving a bottle around 3-4 weeks or you risk bottle rejection

4. if you're going back to work, you'll need to start pumping early anyway to build up a stash.

DH gave Kate a bottle every night as part of her bedtime routine starting around a month. He still puts her to bed every night. It's kind of their thing, and he'll do the same with this one. I don't see the problem with your DH's request.

MnM7608 · November 2010

I'll pump after a couple of weeks...it's nice to let DH or other people feed the baby, especially if you want to get out of the house for more than a few hours. With DH, I put away the pump at 9 months; I was so done with it, but I guess I'm ready to break it out again!

tarkimushroom · November 2010

JLSmith124:
I am planning on pumping as well as BF so that DH can help with some of the overnight feedings.

This exactly.

tslmom87 · November 2010

We are formula feeding. So dh and others can help with feedings and i dont have to run myself down!

cosmobella · November 2010

erbear:
I think that's a perfectly reasonable request.
A couple of things to consider:
1. feeding a baby is bonding and there's no reason your husband shouldn't be involved in that
2. it's a pain in the ass to be the only one who can feed the baby
3.if you want your baby to take a bottle, you should start pumping and giving a bottle around 3-4 weeks or you risk bottle rejection
4. if you're going back to work, you'll need to start pumping early anyway to build up a stash.
DH gave Kate a bottle every night as part of her bedtime routine starting around a month. He still puts her to bed every night. It's kind of their thing, and he'll do the same with this one. I don't see the problem with your DH's request.

This. I started pumping at 4 weeks, just once a day. I was able to build up a nice freezer stash, which was very necessary when I went back to work and DH could do some of the feedings which he was very excited about. LO had no issues taking a bottle when I went back to work and I never had to supplement with formula since I had a great freezer stash. It makes sense to start pumping around this time if you plan to EBF.

Jhawks482 · November 2010

In my experience, I think you'll find it really nice to pump every once in awhile to get a break. If you aren't going to pump at all, you are never going to get a break from your baby for 3 months. Trust me, you are going to need a break, and if you want to go to the mall or bookstore for a few hours for some "me" time, a bottle will come in handy. Pumping isn't that bad- and if you are going to pump when you go back to work, you'll need to introduce the bottle before you go back anyway, right?

stephanieroyer · November 2010

Just from experience, you might want to start pumping sooner, and letting DH feed the baby, you dont want to wait until the last minute to introduce a bottle, what if the baby wont take it at that point?

bell0niner · November 2010

In addition to having DH help with feedings, I plan to pump right away to help establish a larger supply to stockpile. I am concerned that once I go back to work and pump at work my supply will start to slowly decrease and I want LO to have BM as long as possible. I did this with DS and was able to give him BM for 9 months. GL!

BrideNamedMeg · November 2010

I pumped at first because I had to (DD was slow to gain weight so we had to supplement and I didn't want to give formula) but after she was back on track, I didn't pump for awhile. I wanted to naturally establish my supply though nursing and may have started pumping occasionally around 6 weeks, but we still rarely offered bottles.

Nursing is tough in the beginning, I always hated pumping so I wouldn't have dealt well with pumping in addition to everything else just so someone else could feed her. Nursing was easy enough once we got the hang of it. MH bonded with the baby in 100 different ways, feedings didn't have to be one of them.

NoemiJ · November 2010

I plan to pump as soon as breastfeeding is established so that DH can help with feedings and LO gets used to taking a bottle as well.

liladelphia215 · November 2010

I also plan on pumping as soon as I can start. Not only is it a bonding experience, with the way our schedule works now, DH gets home from work at 2 am, which would be the perfect time for feeding. He can feed DD before going to bed.

Mrslovebugs · November 2010

Firedancer1013:
As soon as LO begins to maintain a decent schedule of feeding and I see he is taking well and gaining weight, we plan on starting to pump and having DH and my parents bottle feed in addition to BF, to prepare LO for someone else doing it at daycare. I really don't want that added stress when I do go back to work of baby not taking anything because it's too new of a situation.

This. I plan on EBF for 4-6 weeks and then pumping some and introducing her to bottles a little bit, so DH can feed sometimes. Also, I've heard that babies will completely refuse bottles, so I wouldn't want that to happen once I go back to work and the babysitter is trying to feed her.

lady_knowledge · November 2010

We had a simliar issue with DS, however both DH & myself thought is was best for baby for me to EBF. So what worked for us was DH was there after every feeding to burp DS, and put him back to sleep. This way I had my bonding time and DH had his. We plan to do the same thing with LO.

I didn't start pumping until DS was about 4.5 months old. Good Luck!

ak1234 · November 2010

If you know you are going back to work, DO NOT wait until your LO is three months old (and the day you go back to work) to introduce him to a bottle. Pumping will not automatically mess up your supply. If you have a good supply, and your LO is latching and eating well, it won't hurt to pump.

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