MIL has a friend over while babysitting DD...

mopsie · November 2010

MIL watches DD at our house on Wednesdays (she has 2 big dogs at her house who are too aggressive and I'm not comfortable letting her bring DD there yet). I just called to check in to see how DD's doing (she's been a little sick lately) and I heard a voice in the background. Turns out MIL's friend is hanging out at our house with MIL. I know it's not like MIL is gonna neglect DD, but I still sorta wish she'd let me know someone would be coming over.

kaylakaylakayla · November 2010

This immensely bothers me.
Not so much that there's another person there who could be holding/touching the baby without my knowledge - but that someone was invited to MY house without my knowledge.

Someone hasn't learned boundaries..

Wilwarin · November 2010

That would not be OK with me.

emsrdh03 · November 2010

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

Shandie_725 · November 2010

That'd bother me.....if MIL had asked prior to arriving, I'd be ok. But no knowledge until after the friend's there would make me uneasy.

Shandie_725 · November 2010

emsrdh03:
Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

lilmom3 · November 2010

emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

This

emsrdh03 · November 2010

MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

It's my MIL.....not like she'd bring over an ax murderer or child molester. Though I have a better, more trusting relationship with my MIL than most of the women on these boards seem to so maybe that's why.

If it was your mom would you care so much?

mbear511 · November 2010

emsrdh03:
Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

My biggest reason for not being upset with it is because DH and I are very close with his parent's friends. Many of them have been friends for 30+ years and have been to our house many times. If it was stranger to DH or I, it would be a different story.

Shandie_725 · November 2010

emsrdh03:
MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

It's my MIL.....not like she'd bring over an ax murderer or child molester. Though I have a better, more trusting relationship with my MIL than most of the women on these boards seem to so maybe that's why.

If it was your mom would you care so much?

Yes, if my mom brought someone over without my knowledge/permission beforehand, it'd bother me. Same with my friends bringing their friends when we've held Game or Movie Nights.

Shandie_725 · November 2010

emsrdh03:
MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

It's my MIL.....not like she'd bring over an ax murderer or child molester. Though I have a better, more trusting relationship with my MIL than most of the women on these boards seem to so maybe that's why.

If it was your mom would you care so much?

Yes, if my mom brought someone over without my knowledge/permission beforehand, it'd bother me. Same with my friends bringing their friends when we've held Game or Movie Nights.

ValAndRyan · November 2010

It would only be common courtesy to just let you know or ask if it was ok so yes, that part would bother me.

kategw · November 2010

emsrdh03:
MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

It's my MIL.....not like she'd bring over an ax murderer or child molester. Though I have a better, more trusting relationship with my MIL than most of the women on these boards seem to so maybe that's why.

If it was your mom would you care so much?

All of this. Wouldn't bother me one bit.

Bride2bMO · November 2010

I'd be annoyed. Not mad, but annoyed. And not enough to say anything. Except to DH, he would hear all about it.

With a new visitor coming I would want to have the house a little more perfect-looking, that's all.

emsrdh03 · November 2010

MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:
MarcnShaun:
emsrdh03:

Guess I'm in the minority here....cause I don't see the big deal.

it wouldn't bother you to have someone brought to your house without your knowledge?

It's my MIL.....not like she'd bring over an ax murderer or child molester. Though I have a better, more trusting relationship with my MIL than most of the women on these boards seem to so maybe that's why.

If it was your mom would you care so much?

Yes, if my mom brought someone over without my knowledge/permission beforehand, it'd bother me. Same with my friends bringing their friends when we've held Game or Movie Nights.

I guess I don't see the comparison. I'd be little irked if someone brought extra guests to a party I was hosting...not because they brought stangers to my house, but because I wouldn't feel prepared as a hostess to accomodate more people. I'd get over if though...the more the merrier. But in this situation...I'm not even there, I'm not hosting a gathering of any sorts...and I would trust the person watching my child wouldn't bring anyone into my home that was going to do any harm. It was one person...not like she's throwing a kegger while her grandchild is crying in the other room.

doremi29 · November 2010

I guess if I trust my MIL enough to watch my DS, then I trust she will make responsible decisions about who's around him as well. I probably wouldn't worry too much about it.

mopsie · November 2010

I'm not mad, just a little irritated. I usually clean my house anyway the night before MIL comes over (no dishes in the sink, all the garbage thrown out, laundry done, etc.), but still, I wish I'd at least had a heads up. I wouldn't tell her no, but I just like knowing who's over at my house, regardless of whether DD is here. And FWIW, I'm not a big fan of the guest anyway. She criticized me for having a baby shower (since it's "against" Jewish tradition), and I'm still pissed about it.

Haven1 · November 2010

I'd be annoyed because my house is a cluttered mess right now. My family knows how we roll, but I woudlnt' want to make that first impression on someone new. I want a head's up just to pick the burp rags off the floor.

KRISTA555 · November 2010

The only thing that would kind of irk me would be that she invited someone over to your house.

If this were at her house, I wouldn't care.

clarku2000 · November 2010

I'd be annoyed. It's your house, not hers. She should have asked you if you minded if she had a friend come over. If she was babysitting at her house, it would be a different story.

My BIL has the same issues with not knowing boundaries--about a year ago he brought someone to our house to work on his van because my DH (his brother) has a lot of tools. Then left him there to work on it. I locked all the doors before I left for work that morning, but BIL managed to open the door to our house so the guy could get in to use our bathroom, and help himself to whatever food or drinks he wanted in our fridge. Hello?! He left some stranger alone at our house with access to all our personal belongings--BIL was not allowed back at our house for a very long time.

Ruby_Soho · November 2010

emsrdh03:
It was one person...not like she's throwing a kegger while her grandchild is crying in the other room.

WIN!!!

Beebee09 · November 2010

My MIL did this but asked first. I honestly don't think I'd care even if she didn't...I trust her, but I can see how it's a little rude not to let you know.

rlscheck · November 2010

I guess it doesn't bother me either. If I had full trust in my MIL with no other big problems to begin with, I would trust her judgement if she had someone over. Especially if it's not every time either.

Jaimie01 · November 2010

Wouldn't bother me at all.. I trust my MIL and her judgment completely..

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