Do any of you have experience with or knowledge of postpardum depression or post traumatic stress disorder after a preemie experience?
My LO is 11 months old, and he's been home from the hospital for almost 7.5 months and I feel like I should be all better, but I am really struggling. I started reading some stuff online and it seems like PPD and PTSD may fit. I don't like this me that I am right now and yet I feel so stuck. I am starting to see a counselor tomorrow but now I'm wondering if I need to see someone more specialized, like a psychiatrist, or who would even make those types of diagnoses?
Re: PPD/PTSD and Preemie Moms?
PTSD is not uncommon given everything that preemie moms go thru. I would start with the counselor and tell him/her that you think it could be PPD/PTSD. If they blow you off, find another counselor.
I think it's great you recognize this and want to get better.
Good luck and keep in touch.
I think there is a strong connection between PPD/PPA and a high risk pregnancy, traumatic birth or preemie experience. It was very apparent that I was not myself by a few weeks postpartum. Looking back I was already becoming depressed on bed rest long before the baby came I just didn't see it right away. But, it doesn't have to happen right away or be recognized right away to be PPD.
For me, I started with my OB's office. Ultimately, I saw a psychiatrist, a therapist, and attended a postpartum depression support group. I found that all of them helped in different ways. Your counselor may or may not suggest meds. If you need them, you might be sent to a psychiatrist. My OB prescribed mine and a psychiatrist later adjusted them. You might find that you need to find a therapist that specializes in ante partum mood disorders. What you experienced is different than someone who has PTSD from a car wreck for example. Finding the right person can be tough, but so worth it.
And you shouldn't be "over it" by now, no matter what anyone says. My baby was only 5 weeks early and I am still not over it. I will never forget that he was so small, that he didn't breath, that I didn't know if he would make it. My pregnancy and birth were the exact opposite of what I wanted and expected. I lost a lot. I didn't feel like my feeling were justified since so many people had babies earlier and smaller, etc. It doesn't matter. It was still traumatic to me. I had to give myself permission to have those feelings to move on from them. Your baby was really early. You lost so much. You will move forward but it might never be all better. You know? You deserve to have whatever feelings you have about your experience.
In my support group half of the women were NICU moms. It isn't a coincidence. It is a really hard thing and the longer you are there the harder I'm sure it is. The good news is that it does get better. A year later I'm off meds and happy. I will never forget, but I have moved forward. Hugs and good luck with your apointment
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
I started having a real hard time as my dd's first birthday approached. I was having panic attacks and I was really struggling. So I started seeing a therapist and got on some meds. I found talking through all the stress and sadness that surrounded dd's birth was very helpful. PTSD in preemie parents is very common. This article was in the nyt last year https://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/health/25trau.html?_r=1
I encourage you to seek help. It is real and you can feel better. You are not alone.
I asked the Resident for a med a few days after my c-section/vag delivery. I had so many feelings of guilt for my early delivery/PTL....and it was so hard having them in the NICU. I wanted them in my room with me, and they were fighting to live and breathe in an ICU.
I wasn't sure if I needed something, but I felt it couldn't hurt. GL to you.
I think what you are experiencing is completely normal given the circumstances, but not to be ignored. You should feel proud of yourself for recognizing your negative feelings and choosing to do something about them. Here's another link you may relate to. I know I did.
https://www.preemie-l.org/ALEXIs21.html