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Ilumine
member
So my Friday was fun (not)
Ilumine
member
DH is home from work because he had gum surgery on Thrs. Friday we are to meet with SS's therapist to go over the tests done with the NeuroPsychiatrist (the ultimate specialist in children's mental health issues).
We leave early to go get SS's b-day presents. As we are pulling into BestBuy, SS's school calls. The farking kid. A pack of girls are teasing him right now, because he has a crush on one girl and has become a bit obsessive. So one of her friends tells him he has a funny head (?). He tells her to F Off (he said the full word).
She tells a teacher. Who asks him if he did say that. SS says no. Teacher says "If I ask the other kids who were around, what would they say?"
SS replies something along the lines "You don't believe me so why does it matter. I am going to kill myself." Teacher gets counselor who talks a bit more with SS. SS tells her that he has tried in the past (he sorta implied it and BM sent him to a hospital) and that since he hurt his arm last week and it hurt, he is going to starve himself instead of cut himself.
School says come get boy and he is not to return until his therapist shows us he is not a danger to himself or others.
So we get tests back, find out that yes he is NOT Bi-Polar (as we thought) and that we now have proof to use against BM and her crazy shrink she found (can we say medical malpractice suit).
However tests DO say that he has anger control issues AND his processing skills are way below normal, ie it takes time and ton of reiteration for him to "process through" situations, both educationally AND emotionally.
So immediate lecturing/reasoning is not going to work. He needs immediate consequences to his immediate REACTIONS (he reacts to stressors, not thinks things through) first, then discussion (again not lectures because he gets defensive and won't listen to learn).
And since we are not going to be around him at school, when he has these issues with his peers, we need to be on the same page as his counselor/teachers/principals.
AND we need to start pushing his buttons to get him to learn to recognize when he gets stressed/angry and then work through appropriate responses. So my house is going to be purposefully argumentative for the next few months. FUN
Which is another story for Friday night, but I just do not feel like getting into THAT one.
We DO go back to therapist's office and work out consequences for his actions (ie saying he was goign to kill himself to get out of being in trouble). He is on suicide watch for the weekend. He is not allowed out of our sight until Sunday am. That means no going outside, no closed doors (even for the bathroom) until Sun and no friends until this afternoon.
Of course he balked at the no friends (he claimed punishment) and therapist said that as a licensed employee of the court, SHE could not allow HIS actions negatively affect another child.
And that these are the consequences of using such a harsh threat. That by law she must work under the thought that he COULD actually harm himself and therefore SHE, by law, must insist on certain actions by us the parents to follow or he would be sent to another hospital.
And since this would be his second threat, he would not be going to a fun hospital, but would HAVE to be kept isolated (without tv or books or DS) for the entire time, most likely a full week next time.
She scared the carp out of him. He knows now that if he even hints at killing himself again, he will not find it to be an easy way out of getting in trouble OR get him sympathy/attention.
Now, we are 100% sure that he was not going to kill himself because a) he threatened starvation and b) at the therapist he even said, well they had to know that I was not serious if I told them first (little brat was trying to get out of not having friends over)
*************************************************************************************
So in all my focus on SS, I never tracked Friday's baby kicks (OB wants me to count 10 kicks a day). I go to bed and fall asleep (Reagan's normal active time is when I first get into bed) immediately. Until DH wakes me up at 1:30 with snoring.
I go to the spare bedroom and lie down. I lay there and get NO action. NONE. And I sit there and think back and realize that I DID NOT FEEL HER AT ALL on Friday. I didn't even get gas pains.
I drink my diet coke, as OB told me too and wait an hour. NOTHING.
So I go online to confirm what my OB said and all of the websites and my two books say that if you do not feel baby for 24 hours, yuo call. I called. OB says go to ER.
So at 3:30 we are off to ER. We breeze right up to Obstetrics and get on a monitor. And guess who gets crazy active as soon as the monitors are put around my belly?
Good god was I in a panic, especially after I drank the diet coke. I was not worried that she was not there, but that we would have to take her early (she has 12 weeks to finish gelling).
TURNS OUT, its not the caffeine but the SUGAR in the coke. So diet coke does nothing.
Poor DH. He was just as worried as I was. And we are both very tired. But I am feeling much better now. But for an hour there, I was so scared.
Arg.
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Re: So my Friday was fun (not)
OMG Girl! You need some Milanos or something. What a mess! SO glad to hear Reagan is fine. I was just thinking as I laid there last night that I hadn't felt the baby move much, but it's still really faint for me. SO - even though I had no reason to worry, I was stessing. I can only imagine how much worse that was for you.
Sorry things aren't going to be much fun while you work things out with SS. I guess it's good to have a plan for how to deal with things, right? And now I'm going to go google neuro-psychiatrists to see if we have any in the area. If we could get a definitive answer with SD, maybe it would help us make progress rather than perpetually spinning our wheels.
Holy crap Ilumine you hard my heart pounding there - still though i kinda figured you would not be posting if anything was wrong.
As regards SS, what can i say other than - i do not envy you. What a ridicilous idiotic thing to say. Sorry your having a hard time.
Thanks girls. It was definitely scary there for a moment. So just remember - SUGARY colas to get them moving.
As for SS - I actually feel 95% better now that we have a diagnosis AND plan. Not to say that it isn't going to be rough, but we see that light and it is no longer faint.
I am really happy to know that SS is way above normal in his verbal skills. His reading level is 2 grades a head. So I am going to really foster his love of books. I will have no problem buying any books that he wants to read, as long as he does read them.
And I really have to suggest the neuro-psychiatrist. Not that I am knocking regular shrinks. But when it comes to diagnosing kids, I want someone who specialized in the BRAIN and how it works, not just the emotional side.