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I think I need some reassurance

stbmittlemanstbmittleman member
in Natural Birth

I've been focused on having a natural birth since before getting pregnant. Having an epi has never interested me, in fact it freaks me out, and am also not interested in any of the other medication that can be offered.

I've hired a Doula and started my sessions with her and feel so reassured about my decision and have even looked forward to using the techniques I've learned with her and through the books I've read.

Well here's my concern, I've been having contractions over the past several weeks. (I'm basically a step away from bed rest. Baby is sitting really low and my cervix is soft. If the contractions keep up my doctor wants to put me on a blood pressure med to stop the contractions at my next appointment). So far, the contractions haven't been that bad. Just light to moderate period-like cramps. Well last night I had one that caused me to double over in pain as DH was making dinner. I ended up going to lay on the couch and started crying because of the pain. It went away after a few minutes, but it hurt so much that all I could think about the rest of the night was "How am I going to do this when I'm really in labor?" I even told DH that I could now for the first time see why women choose medication. I was so scared yesterday that I would have to go into L&D that I wasn't focused on trying to get through the pain just on being scared of preterm labor. But now all I can think about today is whether or not I'm strong enough to get through labor. I know what I experienced yesterday is nothing compared to what's to come and I am absolutely terrified.

So I guess what I'm asking is for you strong ladies who have done this before, could you please reassure me that it can be done and maybe some tips on how you were able to make it through labor and delivery? I need some encouragement to put my mind at ease. I feel like months of prep work and the confidence I've built up was depleted yesterday. . .

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Re: I think I need some reassurance

  • JoelsGirl07JoelsGirl07

    Oh, hugs! First, you were scared. It's not time for your baby to be here, and therefore, like you said, you aren't focusing on working through the pain. Second, when it IS time, it is so different. It's exciting, and some of us even think it is fun. It is such a different feeling when you can relax because you aren't scared for the safety of your child like you are right now. Have you thought about the hypnobabies program? You still have time to do it, and if you do get on bed rest you can still do it. Plus, there is a "baby Stay in"! track.

     GL!

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  • mrs.larrymrs.larry member

    how are you going to get through labor? one contraction at a time.  that's all.  you don't have to think about the next one or the last one or all of them together.  Just one contraction. Feel it build. Feel it peak. Feel it subside. That's it.  Transition will be scary because the contractions might not be singular, they might go one right into the next.  But know that when you get to that point, it's so close to being over and that the hardest parts, the waiting, are behind you.

    Read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth https://www.inamay.com/?page_id=38

    it helped me immensely. 

    also: remember how you felt when you were scared of going into preterm labor.  contractions hurt more when you are scared, tense, or fighting them. relax and know that you are built for this.  practice relaxation techniques. 

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  • MallratsMomMallratsMom
    I had preterm labor with DS and it was so scary. But by the time I went into real labor (36 wk 3d) I was so over all the false labor and pre term labor that I was just ready to get the show on the road. The fear was gone and I was just ready. And like PP said you just have to take it one contraction at a time. I ride them like a wave waiting for the peak and then I get a break before the next one comes. When the pain is so bad that you think you need the epi just know that it's almost over. The only time I asked for one with DS was during transition and then it was time to push. Never thought about it with DD because things happened so different and so much faster with her.
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  • stbmittlemanstbmittleman member

    Thanks ladies. I've been reading the Hypnobirth book (Mongan Method) and already read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (such a great book). I'm going to look around to see if I can pick up the Hypnobirth CD's anywhere cheap. My Doula also suggested a few more books for me to check out.

     

     

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  • CTri17CTri17 member

    (((hugs))) to you momma, first I think there is something to be said for the fact that your LO should not be coming yet and that stress is going to change things as far as how you feel pain.

    Do what you need to do to keep that LO in there first of all.

    Second  know that you CAN do this, when the time comes you CAN handle the "pain" you will be using that to push you through to getting your baby out and meeting LO. The "pain" is there for a feason, to tell you it's time and to help get baby out , the contractions work WITH you to allow the baby to descend.

    If you have questions about it / what it feels like I think most of us would be more than heppy to help/explain.

    GL

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  • d.cubedd.cubed

    Like pps, you take it one at a time.  It will be hard!  I reminded myself that I was made to do this and just worked to get my head out of it.  

    My midwives love to quote me, as I started saying, "I feel like a wild animal!" when I was in transition.  

    I had 48 hours of prodomal labor, and some of those contractions were just as hard as the ones that I got when I was in transition.  So I was also scared.  Once the "real" thing hit, though, I knew that "there was no way out but through" and, for some reason, that was reassuring.

    You CAN do this.  I won't lie and say that it wasn't painful.  It was, but I also got the endorphins that come from doing it naturally.  And the painful memories have faded very rapidly.  I definitely was on the biggest high ever after I had him!   

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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member

    It is totally different when your baby is full-term.  I did not feel scared--just excited!  Also, I had a lot of false labor, in some ways it is more uncomfortable than true labor (except for transition, of course) because the contractions are very disordered. 

    How you are feeling now is not an indication of how you will feel when you go into labor at term.  Good luck, I am sorry you are going through this.

    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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