if you have a child already, when will you tell them you're pg?

CantWait2Be · November 2010

wondering when others decide to tell dc that they are going to be a big brother/sister? And did you or do you plan to do something special or how did you tell them? We hadn't told dd yet with our last loss, not sure when we'll tell her assuming all goes well with this one.

kaw2723 · November 2010

We told our DD just before my 13 week appt. and let her go with us to hear the heartbeat. We made the mistake of telling her too early with both of our losses and that was really hard to explain.

lovethebosox · November 2010

We told DS (who is now 3 1/2) the night before the NT scan, and then brought him to the scan to see his little brother or sister. It felt risky to tell him before the scan and before we felt confident about how things were going, but once we did it, it felt right. (I can't even think of how it would have been if things hadn't looked good.)

DS doesn't at this point know about any of our losses since they were all early and he was much younger.

Zed58 · November 2010

We made the mistake last time of telling dd after we saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks. It was REALLY hard to explain the loss to her and she still doesn't fully get it I don't think. Every now and then she still asks where the baby went. This time we're waiting til after the NT scan to fill her in......so a week from tomorrow...if all goes well, that is.

shaysmom05 · November 2010

With our last pregnancy, we told DD right away. This time we wanted to wait until 2nd tri, but she ended up finding an u/s picture and was wondering why it wasn't in her baby book. (She's 5 and has all of her u/s pics in a scrapbook.)

We told her it wasn't her picture, but she started to argue with us. So we asked how she would feel about having a little brother. She said, "No, I'm good." Then we asked how she would feel about a little sister. Again, "No, I'm good." So we ended up telling her she didn't have much choice. lol She loves the thought of it now and swears it's her baby sister in there.

Shemico · November 2010

We waiting quite a long time. Told DD after the full amnio results came in. I was 18 weeks.

It was still scarey telling her because we didn't want her to have to deal with a loss (she's close in age to your DD). She was very excited.

far_more_than_rubies · November 2010

DS will be 2.5 when the new baby comes. I'm guessing we'll wait until I'm really big, or until he moves into his big boy room at Christmas. I haven't put much thought into it because I don't think he'll understand really.

cintim · November 2010

Though we wanted to wait for after the NT scan, we ultimately wound up telling her before as she wanted to know why I was always sick & sleeping. She was very worried so we ended up telling her when I was about 8 or 9 weeks. She was well aware that we lost a baby since she was at the u/s where we found out. She still refers to that baby as her brother if sister in heaven. So when we told her with thud one, she prayed everyday that this baby would be OK. BTW, DD turned 5 in August.

Winter*Mommy · November 2010

We told them early with our last loss and had to untell them, which ended up being really hard, especially on DD. So for this baby, we waited until we'd had two good ultrasounds and then told them... still a little too early for me, I would have waited until we knew the gender, but thankfully all worked out well.

smiles1123 · November 2010

we told dd at 11 weeks and lost the baby at 12 weeks. this time we waited until 15 weeks to tell.

redstars93 · November 2010

DS is 2y3m; we won't "tell" him until I'm too big to ignore. He's too young to really understand so no need to start telling him until it's closer to the due date.

VivianLee · November 2010

With our first loss, DS was only 2.5. We told him immediately. We had a nick name for the baby and he would mention it in passing on occasion but we quit taking about it and he has long forgotten. With our 2nd loss, we didn't have time to say anything to him.

With this baby, we also told him right away. He was almost 3 when I got pg this time and I don't know that he even really comprehended until my belly started to grow. Now he asks questions about this baby and is very excited about his little sister. I didn't feel any need to wait to tell him.

julyjennifer · November 2010

Our DD is 3. We waited till 15 weeks to tell her. We hadn't told her about the last pg, which we lost at 11.5 weeks (she was just over 2 then).

We wanted to wait until we were ready to tell the world, because she was certain to do that on our behalf once she knew. It was really fun telling her--we were just sitting around together as a family hanging out and DH and I told her--her eyes got so huge with a gleam in them and she immediately pulled my shirt up and started hugging the baby and asking about it. It was great. The next day we gave her a t-shirt that says "i'm going to be a big sister" and that night she didn't want to take it off and so she slept in it, and the next morning she didn't want to change out of it for church, because it was so special to her. It was really cute.

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