Semi-NBR: Abstinence only education

goodtobethelarkster · October 2008

Since it's slow in here and I am feeling mischievous...

I was watching Palin's biography a few days ago and so started thinking about abstinence only sex ed.

I can see the "it's not the government's responsibility to teach kids about sex; it's a family matter" rationale. While I don't agree with it, I get it - kind of a "keep the government out of our bedrooms" thing.

And I can see the agrument for giving kids age appropriate information about sexuality, birth control, STDS, etc. Parents should do that, but a lot don't. And having basic information about your body and how it works seems vital. Plus, if a parent really objects, they can sign a waiver and the kid doesn't have to do sex ed.

But I don't get the "teach sex ed, but only teach abstinence" angle. Is it basically an anatomy lesson, then? Like a "Here is how babies are made. If you don't want a baby then don't have sex. That's the only thing that works 100% of time." That seems like it's leaving out an awfully big piece of the puzzle, especially given the "horny teen" factor, I'm thiniking sex is going to happen whether you tell them not to or not.

So anyway, what's your take on abstinence only sex ed?

Brookie-Cookie · October 2008

i think it's irresponsible.

brandonswife07 · October 2008

damn my having to leave for a dr's appt. i have so much to say on this topic.

marking for later...

twopeasinapod · October 2008

I believe we should publicly fund chastity belts until marriage.

jenifairies · October 2008

Irresponsible and stupid. You can try to raise your kids not to have sex, but there comes a point where they make their own decisions and they should be informed and have the resources to protect themselves.

There are too many kids out there who think you won't get pregnant if you jump up and down/pull ou/douche/do a rain dance.

Marie Tourville · October 2008

It obviously doesn't work.

akiernan · October 2008

Teaching abstinence only is like telling a teenager:

"Here are the car keys. The car is in the driveway. But don't drive!"

You need to teach kids abstinence AND safe sex.

Because they're still going to have sex and STDs will still run rampant. And girls will still get pregnant.

If they make the choice not to be abstinent, then they need to know how to protect themselves.

I'm just being realistic, here.

ABMcKinney · October 2008

I tend to agree with it to a point, but the bottom line is that it's irresponsible and won't work.

emmelen · October 2008

I went to Catholic school. We learned how babies are made. We learned about all the different options for contraceptives. We learned that the Catholic church's take on pre-marital sex is not to do it. Then we moved on to CPR training.

I don't know if this is the norm for Catholic schools or if ours was kind of progressive, but that is how I think we should teach our children. You have choices, here is what they are, class dismissed.

And for the record, I had sex before I was married. I used bcp and condoms. Good thing I listened in health class, because the first time I had unprotected sex, I got pregnant. I really ought to send a thank you note to the makers of ortho-tricyclen...

pamarshea · October 2008

While I believe in abstinence and do believe it's the only thing that works 100% of the time, I do believe kids need to know how to protect themselves. You can't always leave it to the parents to teach them so I do think sex ed is important. Does it work when teachers do teach them, probably not all the time, I can remember when I had sex ed we all just giggled or felt embarrassed about the whole thing, I don't think that we were ready for it at the time, but times have changed and there are more and more teenagers and even younger having babies or getting STD's. I am not going to rely on a teacher to teach my kid the facts of life but there is a need. In a perfect world you could be for abstinence only teaching, but this world is getting meaner and uglier by the minute and kids are learning things way too young now.

goodtobethelarkster · October 2008

akiernan:

Teaching abstinence only is like telling a teenager:

"Here are the car keys. The car is in the driveway. But don't drive!"

You need to teach kids abstinence AND safe sex.

Because they're still going to have sex and STDs will still run rampant. And girls will still get pregnant.

If they make the choice not to be abstinent, then they need to know how to protect themselves.

I'm just being realistic, here.

That's the thing... I totally agree with you - it doesn't work.

And given that Palin gave birth to her first kid 8 months after she got married and her 17 year old daughter is now pregnant, she must *know* that pre-marital sex happens / abstinence only education doesn't work. Yet she is so anti-sex-ed.

I don't get how that can be your life experience and you can still be anti-sex-ed...

KittenGator · October 2008

My Human Sexuality professor did an experiment in our class.

He took a poll of the room and asked where we learned about sex, our parents, peers, school, a magazine, television or another source.

When he asked who learned about it from their parents, I was the only one who raised my hand. He concluded with "98% of parents believe that they should be the one to talk to their kids about sex. Only one of you actually learned about it from your parents."

He then said to me "thank your parents for me."?

chalmette · October 2008

It doesn't work. Period. Just ask the kids in my graduating class who were always missing school because their kids were sick. Huh?

Breezy.Lives · October 2008

I'm not a good person to give opinions on this because a) my mother educated me about sex very openly and without giggling, so I already knew everything they taught us in sex ed. Heck, I probably could have taught it myself... and b) I intend to talk to Bennett the same way.

So, I think abstinence-only sex education is a bad idea but, if that's what's taught in his school, it won't mean my own son doesn't know alllll about the birds and the bees - he will.

ETA: I know other parents don't/won't take this approach. I'm just saying, I find it hard to get worked up about it because I'll probably be giving my son a condom every night of Hanukkah when he turns 15 or 16, just so he never has to ask and has them handy (so doesn't have to buy them with embarassment either).

They do make condoms packaged as gold coins, right? Think they make any imprinted as gelt?

KittenGator · October 2008

Breezy.Lives:
I'm not a good person to give opinions on this because a) my mother educated me about sex very openly and without giggling, so I already knew everything they taught us in sex ed.? Heck, I probably could have taught it myself... and b) I intend to talk to Bennett the same way.?
So, I think abstinence-only sex education is a bad idea, but it also won't mean my own son doesn't know alllll about the birds and the bees - he will.

Mine did too. I already knew everything and plan and doing the same with Alana. My Psych teacher recommended you start as soon as they'll understand and that's definitely what we're going to do with Alana!?

arm721 · October 2008

We were taught abstinence is the best but if you are going to have sex here are steps you can take to protect yourself from getting pregnant and getting a STD. We were taught the effectiveness of each form. We also had to wear a pregnant belly (boys and girls had to wear it) and walk the halls for an hour. Also we had a baby for 24 hours that would cry anytime it wanted and you had to put a key in until it cried again to tell you to take the key out. Then the teacher got a report from it like if you neglected or abused your child.

It was an elected class in high school but I think every student should have had to take it. I really learned a lot in that class.

KittenGator · October 2008

Heck, I was Miss Waiting Until Marriage and I had pre-marital sex! Teenagers are going to do it no matter what you try to say/do, so you might as well teach them how to do it safely.

Heather R · October 2008

all the research shows it doesn't work!

I get the Republican party's point that it should be a family's responsibility, but unfortunately, you can't trust the American family anymore. Some families are too screwed up to do it. Some people are too embarrassed to approach this subject. Some families are neither of those things,but just assume the school is doing it and don't even think to do it.

Breezy.Lives · October 2008

Yeah - I should probably state clearly that I don't think abstinence-only education is a good idea, and that I would vote against it and speak against it in front of a school board.

I was just making the point that it's not one of my own hot button issues in the current election, even though I *am* taking responsibility for it within our family.

Heather R:
all the research shows it doesn't work!

I get the Republican party's point that it should be a family's responsibility, but unfortunately, you can't trust the American family anymore. Some families are too screwed up to do it. Some people are too embarrassed to approach this subject. Some families are neither of those things,but just assume the school is doing it and don't even think to do it.

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