Shower help!

erin3182011 · November 2010

I just have a question on how I should handle a situation.... I am a planner, thats why I am trying to take care of this NOW!

My mother, MIL, and best friend have all voiced their interest in having a baby shower for me.... I really prefer NOT to have 3 baby showers, and since all 3 of those people are friends, I thought... Why not just have them all get together and throw 1 large baby shower! Well, I suggested this to all 3 of them, and they all said "oh ya, thats a good idea" but have yet to make contact with eachother to plan any of the details. Is it rude of me to butt in (I guess I already have) and pick my OWN date and tell all of them, and then hopefully that will get them going, or just back off and trust they can take care of it? I just fear something will happen, and I will have the baby early and want everything to be done and taken care of/planned/out of the way! Thanks.

RoxyLynn · November 2010

Lighten up. There are 3 women who love you enough to host a shower for you, and it's up to each of them how they do it.

erin3182011 · November 2010

I know :-) I should feel lucky and just sit back and relax, but I have been a nervous wreck since day 1, and just cant help but over analyze everything! Hahaha

Antiquecharm · November 2010

I understand you. I am a planner and a control freak and it is so hard to sit back and just let things "be."

However, I did have to give the hostesses an idea of what day I would like it around because I would have to take off work one of the days! So, technically I did have some say-so in the date. At this point though, I still don't know exactly when it will be lol.

rhubarb123 · November 2010

There really is plenty of time but I know just how you feel. I'm a planner as well. Perhaps you could ask your mom if she has been in contact with your MIL and/or BF yet regarding the shower. I was always the closest to my mom and wouldn't hesitate to ask her anything - ever (including shower details).

Charlie'sAngel2009 · November 2010

rhubarb123:
Perhaps you could ask your mom if she has been in contact with your MIL and/or BF yet regarding the shower.

I agree with this. I wouldn't try to talk to all of them again about it because you might appear as a control freak (although I would feel just the same way). Just talk to your mom about it, and she should be able to contact the others and pull it together.

dani920 · November 2010

I understand how you feel. I am a planner and my mom is the biggest procrastinator there is. She and my aunts offered to plan a shower for me. My best friend is throwing me a shower the weekend after Thanksgiving and had invitations out 5 weeks in advance, has games and the menu planned, and just finished the favors. My mom is planning the shower the weekend BEFORE this and did not decide where to have it until yesterday and is sending out invitaitons today. I am worried that having that little notice will result in no one showing up. I wish I would have been a little more vocal about what I wanted. I was trying to be really laid back and not worry about it, but now I wish I would have motivated my mom to get going a little sooner. If you're close with your mom try to talk to her about her ideas, ask if they've set a date, or ask if she needs a guest list or something. They've already offered to throw the shower, so it's not like your requesting one! I think it will help her and save them all stress in the long run...

KyleTrigger · November 2010

Very very rude to butt in and pick a date. I would just let them handle it. You are only 21 weeks and I wouldn't stress about a date or them calling each other yet.

I know it is frustrating. I have a lot of frustration about my showers but they are a gift and I am happy so many people care. I cannot micro manage every single detail!!

ellybelly2011 · November 2010

WIth my baby shower I was very involved to a degree. I was working full-time, and a full-time student. I have a large family as did my ex, along with many friends and close family friends. I made it known that with my busy schedule I did not want many showers and felt there was no reason that everybody couldn't combine and thrown me one. This is what they ultimately did, and it was kind of a headache!! I should have let my ex-husband's Mom throw a seperate one at least for his family as she was very rude and controlling, and did not do much to compromise with my aunts and Mother.

If one shower is what would work better for you, and you know they are planning to throw you a shower though, I don't feel you should be uncomfortable giving your input to an extent.

erin3182011 · November 2010

Thanks everyone for your input. I spoke with my mother today and told her my thoughts. She actually appreciated my input (surprising!) and let me pick the date I wanted Big Smile

She is going to be in contact with MIL and best friend over the next couple weeks and decide all the details! YaY... I feel 100% better Smile

courtneyt13 · November 2010

I haven't had my shower yet but I wanted to give you my experience from my wedding shower.

My bridesmaids and my mom were suppose to throw me a shower. They are all procrastinators and very disorganized. They ended up sending out invites the week before the shower. Only two people said they could make it so we ended up canceling it. I never had a wedding shower.

So now the same people want to throw me a baby shower. I said okay, but I am checking in with them weekly and giving them tasks. I know it seems excessive but it was really I was really embaressed last time that all my friends received invitations a week before the party and then a call the night before telling them not to come.

Sometimes if you are a planner and those throwing the party aren't you should totally stay on top of it. Anyway it's not like your throwing yourself the shower.

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