Postpartum Depression
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maybe I was wrong (new)

I have a long history of depression/bipolar disorder/anxiety and am currently taking Zoloft but I thought for sure I was fine, thought I was not going to get PPD but lately I'm starting to think I was wrong. I'm fine all day, and then at night I wonder why we had another baby (don't get me wrong please, I LOVE my baby and would not change having her for a second) but I know those thoughts aren't normal. I thought it was because I was beyond tired and was just too tired to feel normal, and most days still wonder if thats the reason for these feelings (but I know deep down it's not). I have an almost 4 year old and don't remember feeling this way...I just want to cry and cry, but have to keep a happy face on or else my DS will get upset and I don't want him to see his mommy upset.

I love my baby so much, and am so happy to have my family complete...so why do I feel like this???

 

Sorry for the rant..just looking for some support I guess..

Re: maybe I was wrong (new)

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    I just had my first and I feel like why did I have one.  I also am worse at night as that is when I am the most sleep deprived.  I have been depressed throughout my whole pregnancy and pretended to everyone that I was fine as I thought it was just hormonal changes.  Looking back I know I should have told someone that I was depressed and got help as now that my daughter is here I feel even worse.  It would also help if she slept at night as she screams all night and wants to eat every hour and then she poops all night long too and that makes her mad.  I feel for you and I hope you start to feel better or go talk to your OB.  I am planning on calling my OB on Monday as it does not hurt to call. 
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    Don't be sorry about ranting, that is the wonderful thing about this board this is what it is meant for. While there is great hope that when a women is already being treated for a mood disorder that she will be okay after the baby is born there is a good chance that medications will need to be adjusted even if its just slightly. You have acknowledged yourself that the feelings aren't normal and that right there is your answer, if you don't feel like things are right then they aren't. There is no shame in admitting it and getting the help you need, and you shouldn't have to force a happy face for your family that you sound to be happy with with in every aspect except the bipolar/depression rearing its ugly head. Call your prescribing doctor on Monday and ask for an appointment ASAP and talk openly about the thoughts and feelings you've been having, there are plenty of options for PPD, anxiety and bipolar and they can find something that will work for you. GL hun!
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