June 2011 Moms

Other teachers here...I need some help!

I have been a teacher for 5 years and I am in a new school this year after being reduced in force last year from my first school. I have a class this year that is the worst class I have ever had and I am really not dealing with the stress very well. I worry all the time that this is SO bad for me and LO. I try to stay calm and not get too worked up but this combo of kids is just terrible! I come home so pissed every day and it takes me a while to stop thinking about them and I just don't know what to do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I should be able to handle this after 5 years esperience but wow...I'm so not doing well! TIA!

Re: Other teachers here...I need some help!

  • Well, I'm not a teacher, but I understand the process of taking work home with you. I'm an in patient psychiatric social worker. so more than the patient's, it's their families that get to me sometimes. One suggestion is to think of things that relax you. Things that are just for your own self care to help you rejuvenate. I try to do stuff that takes care of me physically too. Even if it's silly like a home facial.  (since it sounds like your kids are sucking the life out of you).  I'd then go stock up on those things (or if its activities write a list so it's on hand-walk, phone call, music, pedicure, etc).  What I'm actually describing is part of a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP).  You might not be able to have the kids managed (or changed all together) as you'd like, but you still gotta take care of yourself and not get consumed by the bad. Also, maybe specific visual cues that help distract you or put things into perspective. I have a rainbow bracelet (which is a happy set of colors) that has the word "relax" spelled out. It's in my car on my visor and it's a reminder to take a deep breath. Which does help.  I also used to listen to really angry music on the way home (that was when I did work in the schools - ES, AS, and alt ed classes. I haven't tried this, but you could give yourself 5 or 10 minutes when you come home to journal or *** about it, but no more. It's not fair to you or your LO to let them consume you. You have better things to think about anyway. Soon you'll have thanksgiving off. then a little stretch and the xmas break. then easter/spring break. Focus on those?  Maybe it's all hookie. I don't know. Good luck though.
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  • I'm a teacher too.  It's difficult to change classrooms or schools, even if you think it won't be.  I changed jobs a year a half ago and thought it would be fine, and I ended up being very stressed.  Try and stay relaxed and try and get a handle on your classroom.  Last year I had a very difficult year and am very lucky that although this year has it's own craziness, it's better than last year.  Try and remember that it will get better.  And, ask for help from others if you need it!
  • Your situation sounds similar to mine.. I've been working 6 years now as a teacher, and even though I haven't changed schools, they gave me the most difficult class this year with a ridiculous amount of kids with issues. ?I guess because they assigned me an aide, they figured it wouldn't be a problem. ?WRONG! ?I come home many days angry, upset, and crying. ?It's very stressful, but I keep telling myself that I won't let my job interfere with my own family, including the baby growing inside of me. ?Have you told anyone at work? ?I've told a few of my close friends at work, and they seem to be able to calm me down more than other people outside the teaching field (they just don't seem get it). ?Secretly I think to myself "well if I'm going to have to leave the year early for maternity, it might as well be a year with kids like these!" ?Terrible, I know, but you get to a certain point where you have to pick your family or your job, and I'm sorry my family will win every time. ?Keep your chin up.... After Christmas, I always tend to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
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  • I have been a teacher for over six years and I feel your pain.  Each year it seems that my classes come in with more issues and more behavior problems.  As a primary teacher in a tough district, I worry about my students home life and well being each day.  BUT I know that right now, my number one priority is my health and the health of my baby.  No matter what, I put myself first right now. I know it sounds selfish, but I can be right now.  I get worked up and stressed about my students during the actually work day, but try my best to leave it all behind me when the bell rings.  As a teacher, we do anything and everythng to help our students.  I know that we all have a passion to help children reach their full potential and usually safrifice and forget to balance our own lives with that of our job. 
    But this year for the first time, I am taking days off when I don't feel well, leaving early when I am tired, and not taking work home with me.  It is easier said than done I know that.  But just dream of the breaks and release days, take it easy, go in early and leave early, and listen to your body.  Take some personal days. Set up your room for the next day and then leave all the students and work behind you for the night.   Put your health first right now.  It's ok!  Your students will not suffer if you don't worry and stress over them.  Nothing good comes of that!  Chin up and soon it will be Thanksgiving break, grading days, and winter break.  Time has already gone by fast this year...think, soon it will be June!
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  • I understand.  My class isn't the worst, but we have an awful administration, and our school is pretty much a zoo this year.  Combined with 3 weeks left till my grad school graduation, tons of IEP's to do, teaching three different preps, and being pregnant, I don't know what to do to keep myself sane.

    Let me know when you find the answer.

  • Girl... I've had that class!  It's miserable.  

    First off, what systems do you already have in place?  And what do you teach?   

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    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

  • imageamberpro:

    Girl... I've had that class!  It's miserable.  

    First off, what systems do you already have in place?  And what do you teach?   

    I am a Family and Consumer Sciences Teacher in H.S. I teach foods/nutrition, Child Development and Human Development. I LOVE what I teach but this one Foods class I have is just crazy! Bad combo of BD kids and ED kids...suspensions all the time...the things they say and call me sometimes...awful!  Thanks so much to everyone who sent advice...you all are so supportive and helpful!

    I feel like I don't go a day without write ups...our administration kinda sucks...so it all falls on me I feel. It makes it worse that I am new this year too. I should say it has gotten better but I still feel like this stress is so bad for me and baby.

  • I had to change schools this year also, because class sizes increased and my old school lost 3 teachers.  My new school has more demands and my class is huge.  I have a lot of really low students this year. 

    When I got my BFP, I had this moment of clarity on the way to work like, "I'm pregnant, and that is the most important thing in my life.  Any problems and stress I feel at work is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things."  It may sound harsh, but the students you have this year (and their parents) are people that will be in your life for several months, which if you look at the big picture is not that long.  So they don't matter that much. 

    Do what you can to help the kids.  Take them from whatever level they are at to as far as they can go in those months and know that you did your best with each child. 

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  • imageMelissa2216:

    When I got my BFP, I had this moment of clarity on the way to work like, "I'm pregnant, and that is the most important thing in my life.  Any problems and stress I feel at work is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things." 

     

    This!!! Times a million! I have a couple really terrible sections this year and when things get bad I really just take a step back and think about LO. It helps to put things into perspective. 

  • imagelincrane:
    imageamberpro:

    Girl... I've had that class!  It's miserable.  

    First off, what systems do you already have in place?  And what do you teach?   

    I am a Family and Consumer Sciences Teacher in H.S. I teach foods/nutrition, Child Development and Human Development. I LOVE what I teach but this one Foods class I have is just crazy! Bad combo of BD kids and ED kids...suspensions all the time...the things they say and call me sometimes...awful!  Thanks so much to everyone who sent advice...you all are so supportive and helpful!

    I feel like I don't go a day without write ups...our administration kinda sucks...so it all falls on me I feel. It makes it worse that I am new this year too. I should say it has gotten better but I still feel like this stress is so bad for me and baby.

    Ouch.  ED kids are challenging.  And, unfortunately, other kids often feed off their behavior making it impossible to teach.  Although I agree with what everyone is saying... the stress isn't worth it... I also understand that it's easier said than done.

    Have you thought about involving a counselor?  I had a miserable class 2 years ago and I often worked very closely with the counselors when things were out of control.  Anger management was the biggest problem.  Maybe have a system that allows you to send behavior outbursts to her instead of the office.  

    Or a team teacher?  Do you have someone across the hall you can work with?  Have a station set up to get the kid out of the room when he's out of control?  I don't know how this will work in HS, but we do it in elementary school quite often.   I've found that even though it seems like the entire class is a behavior problem, it usually boils down to just a couple who get everyone else riled up.  When the one student is gone, everyone else seems to settle down.

    Have you talked to your administration?  I COMPLETELY understand having admin that is lax in discipline, but maybe you need to sit down and talk with them about what's going on in your room.  You may just need to tell them how much it's hindering your teaching and your health.  Kick a kid out when they are disrespectful to you and don't allow them back in until a conference.  But you have to let admin know you are putting your foot down before hand.  

    Also, are these children officially labeled?  If so, have you checked out their BIPs and IEPs?  Have you spoken with the special education provider on your campus?   They might be a huge help and resource to understanding the students' behaviors.  Maybe help you figure out their triggers (if that's the case... sometimes you never know what will set an ED child off).  Oftentimes, children with these issues already have a reward/consequence system set up.  (Again- i know HS is an entirely different ballgame, so this may work differently than it does for elementary).  

    When it comes right down to it, if you need to write them up every day, then do it.  You can't allow the behavior to go unnoticed or it will get worse and other students will follow.  Write them up and don't let them see that it bothers you.  Almost like you're bored with it.  You said what?  Ok.  That means office.  Bye!  No discussion, so redirection.  Just Bye.  Do you give detentions?  Have there been any consequences that have worked for you in the past?  I'd help there, but you can't take away recess and computer time- lol :)  I know this seems mean, but I try to find something that is meaningful to the student, and take it away.  It's the only thing that leaves an impact.  

    I've worked inner city for 9 years.  Nothing is the same for me from year to year.  You have to find something that works for each class.  I really hope that things get better and that you find a way to destress.  HTH! 

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    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

  • 5th year teacher here!  I've changed schools every year until now.  I'm prolonging a maternity leave replacement that I had last year....and will be continuing here until January....anyway...that's irrelevant.

    I wish I could say don't stress but all I can tell you is that I understand.   Last year I had a class of 28 kids (only 4 girls!!!) and more than half of them had IEPs and about 4 others that needed them but parents refused services.   It was a REALLY challenging year even though I ended up very attached to a lot of them.  Well, this year they ended up making a split group so I actually have half of the students again.  Fortunately I've been on a preventative leave since my BFP.  We aren't allowed to work until we prove we have immunity to 5th disease and I only got the results on Friday.  I'm really nervous about going back on Monday.  One student in particular is a high risk of aggression and while I don't think he would purposely attack me I do fear getting caught in the crossfire if he decides to blow up at another student in the class :(

    I'm basically just going in there refusing to allow them to get to me.  I have friends at work (and I'm really lucky that one of my BFF teaches in an adjoining classroom) and have no guilt asking them for help.

     

    Hope we can share war stories and be of some support to each other!  I love teaching but difficult years are hard enough when you aren't pregnant.

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  • I'm in my 18th year in an at-risk district and have had many years like you describe.  I think the PP have given you some great ideas-- I have a go-to teacher (with a bathroom off her room) that is my life-saver right now.  I'm not comfortable telling everyone yet, even though they were all super supportive throughout the past year, so I have my "team" of friends to lean on, be nervous and panicked around, and to help when my emotions are getting the best of me, and I can't seem to be rational about maintaining discipline and order amongst the chaos.  I think the idea of getting the counselors at your school involved is a good one--especially for the ED and BD students.  I have many kids with IEP's and 504's, and I keep in constant touch with their case workers, sp ed teachers, parents, and the counselors.  Sometimes the only sane thing I can manage is to put student who is driving me crazy in a separate part of my classroom and give myself a timeout in the hallway or by my door for a few moments.  I use my yoga breathing a lot. :)

    You have to remember that you are only one person, who is growing a life inside.  I refuse to take on any extra stress this time.  It's not always easy, but I am no longer the "yes" person I have been in the past.   We don't teach because we don't care, so that makes it hard to let it all go and take care of ourselves sometimes.  I hope you can find a good balance in your life/school. 

    oh, I won't ever admit this to anyone at school, but I am guilty of grabbing a quick nap during my prep/lunch, and sometimes will just go outside and walk around the soccer field to help relax and let it all go.  Good luck!

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  • I didn't read all the posts, but it sounds like my friends class last year. It's only a year. A sense of humor is well worth investing in. It'll lighten the stress for you and the "street-smart" kind of kids respond to it. One of her terror students wore a dragon hat one day and ran around running a growling. I told him that dragons don't belong in school and started thinking of better animals for him to be in school if he had to be an animal. His classmates joined me- dove, owl.

    So laugh a lot and start thinking of comebacks.

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  • I hate to spoil the fun, but I don't think it gets any better. I'm in my 11th year teaching high school and every year I hate it more and more. School is not how it was when we were there (in my case 15 years ago) thanks to state standards and testing. That's not even considering the advances in personal technology that possess students' minds today. The brashness and boldness of today's kids is outrageous. It sounds terrible, but I only teach now because I need the paycheck. I can't quit because I have a family to support. Flame away, but sometimes I don't care if they're learning anything....why should I, they don't! ...and YES, this year's students are especially bad....disrespectful and lazy!
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  • I have been there! I'm a 5th year HS teacher too. I would keep up with the write ups, and make sure you are contacting parents regularly. Also, if administration sucks, you can send them to a buddy teacher. I give the other teacher the 1 page essay that they are "supposed" to copy so the kid isn't just sitting in another classroom.

    Does your school have OCI? We are allowed to call OCI (security) and have them pick kids up and they spend the period in on campus detention.

     If they have IEP's you can contact their case carrier as well.

    Lastly, if the kids are disrespecting you that is a direct ticket out of class. There is no way a kid is going to say something to me and stay in class (mainly because if they did, they'd get hurt). 

     

    Good luck! Make sure you have something in place to deal with stress! I bought a punching bag my first year of teaching (because I had the classes from hell!) and it worked wonders for my stress level! =) 

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