Annoyed with in-laws....WDYT?

praline · November 2010

My MIL and FIL live about 40 minutes away. We see them on average a few times a month, usually because we have invited them over/somewhere. My MIL has some health issues and has doctors near our house. Recently they have started calling me randomly during the week and saying, "MIL had a doc appt. and we are five minutes away and would like to come see you."

Now, I find this annoying. I know they were aware they were coming up here...why couldn't they let me know a little ahead of time so I would be prepared for their visit? Often my girls are already down for naps, the house isn't super presentable, I have other plans (things I need/want to do) etc.... I would like the girls to see them, so I have been saying yes and coming home or putting off whatever I was going to do. The thing is, I think they don't want to tell me they are going to be up here so they don't have to deal with telling me they don't want to come if that's what they decide but I just find this annoying! WDYT?

championmama · November 2010

I'm iwth you. I have two yappie yorkies and they alert the dead when someone so much as drives their tire over the edge of my driveway. Thanks DH for teaching them to bark years ago.

I *** more about it when IL's do it, but it bugs me when my sister, mom, etc do it. Usually though MIL does it more. Like the other day, S & N were sleeping and woke to the dogs barking as MIL was standing at the door, and trying to open it no doubt. Of course, everybody was up after that. And she left, probably b/c I scared the *** out of her after screaming at the dogs to shut the f-up. It had been a stressful day.

Snowbride02 · November 2010

If it was inconvenient, I'd tell them it wasn't a good time or I had plans to go somewhere or something. I'd be annoyed too, but at least they are calling before they show up at your door, right?

hairpasta · November 2010

Annoying. I would need more than 5 minutes to prepare for a visit. My in-laws showed up unannounced recently and my husband later asked them to call first. My MILs response was "do her parents have to call first?"

WTF? Yes they call first. It is not hard.

Andrewsgal · November 2010

That would really annoy me because the Dr. apts are obviously planned ahead of time. I am super anal when it comes to my house with my ILs I want everything perfect. Can you just not answer the phone?

ljlkm · November 2010

I'd just tell her you love that they stop by when they're in the area, but it would be great if they could let you know ahead of time so that you can be sure to be free.

jlw2505 · November 2010

My DH set down the law so to speak with his parents over things like this the day we bought our house which is about 10 miles from his parents (before we were married/had kids). The law was (and my SILs have since followed suit and have had the same conversations) that there were to be no last min drop in visits unless something really last min came up. A phone call in advance of a visit is required - this goes both ways by the way. My ILs are great with this - my ILs always call even if they are just dropping something off for us and not staying or anything - I always get 20-30 mins advance notice even if its just a drop off thing. We honestly have never had any issues with them just wanting to stop by without pre-planning by at least a few hours. I have gotten emails at work during the day asking about meeting us for dinner but they have always been totally understanding when we say - even if they don't like our answer. Trust me, dealing with my MIL is not easy but when it comes to this - she gets it as its a matter of respect for the other person.

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