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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
AMYfromKY
member
I want to shake MIL
AMYfromKY
member
We are making a short (less than 2 day) trip to our hometown this weekend and DH called MIL to let her know. He asked her to visit DS at my parent's house since that is where we stay. I hate carting him around town after a longer car ride and DH agreed.
MIL goes on and on how we need to visit her because she doesn't want to have to worry about sharing DS with my mom...blah blah blah.
DH pointed out that we stay at my parent's house because they have a crib (DS won't sleep in a PnP) and she got really angry and said she had a crib too, but we were too good for it. 1. This crib was recalled and a dropside. 2. She lied about both of those things. 3. The crib was already going to be given away in September so she wouldn't even have it still.
She drives me so crazy. She is insistent that the people who have the crib now and GREAT parents and that we were just being brats by not letting DS use it. In the end, she basically said it was our fault we don't stay with her and that she doesn't want to see DS at my parent's house.
Blah...I am so not ready for drama this weekend!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want to shake MIL
My parents would be happy going over there to see him if we said it was best for him.
Also, they NEVER come up here to see him so it's hard to make much of an effort when we make the trip home. Especially if it's a short one. They say it's too much of a hassle to travel here, but they travel out to Arizona, NY, etc to see their friends.
I do see your point! Honest
But, I think for the most part the dad's parents usually get the short end of the stick. It's easier to stay at your mom's b/c they're your parents and even if they also drive you crazy... they drive you crazy in a comfortable way.
Maybe ask MIL if she will come visit at your parent's this time, and next time you will stay with her. You could suggest splitting the cost of a new crib for her house. There are cheap ones from IKEA that rate well with Consumer Reports. I'm sure she didn't buy a recalled crib on purpose... and the older folks tend to be clueless about stuff like that (even IF your mom is not like that). It sounds like your MIL is being defensive and her feelings are hurt.
Fair enough. I'd have a hard time making any effort if they didn't either.
Well here is the thing. We said something about that and she said "Well how much use is a crib really going to get." I said a lot because H isn't our only kid we are having. Then she said "well can your dogs stay at your parent's house." umm no, that wouldn't be fair to my parents who have 2 dogs themselves. Then she said, well we had a perfectly good (recalled) crib for free and you guys didn't want H to stay in it."
So that is where we left it.
Yes, you did not include this info in your OP.
Yeah, I should have. There is definitely an ugly history with MIL and FIL. Most people really like me, but for some reason they hate me. haha
So THAT is the reason you aren't taking your LO to her house. But you told her that it was because she didn't have a crib and what have you. I can see why she is annoyed - because she knows you are lying. The problem is clearly the underlying stuff, you know? Maybe you and your DH and his parents can sit down and work some of THAT stuff out.
This isn't about sleeping arrangements and the hassle of toting DS across town.
I agree. I'm sure OP wouldn't tell her own parents to meet her at her IL's house if the roles were reversed.
I agree. I have two sons. I would be hurt if my DIL told me that I had to go to her parents house to see my grandchildren. Why can't you spend an afternoon and dinner at their house.
Even with the backstory, I would go to MIL's house for a short visit. Especially if she lives in the same town. If it's an hour plus drive to get there, then I wouldn't.
But I do think the IL's get the shaft when it comes to kids and I think at some point you have to put this stuff behind you and be the bigger person.
I agree. We do the same thing once a month. Drive nine hours to our hometown to visit both sides of family. I think what you are asking for your ILs is unfair. If I was the IL I would want the one on one time with my Grandson. If G didn't like a PnP we would suck it up for one night because a relationship with her grandparents is more important that a really good nights rest. Even if they never come visit you. (Mine never visit us but its still important to me that at least I try to create a relationship btw my daughter and her grandparents.)
DH: 31, no issues
4-6/2012 100mg of Clomid + trigger + IUI/TI = BFN
7/2012 150mg of Gonal-f + trigger + IUI = BFN
8/2012 Surprise unmedicated BFP!! Due May 8, 2013
Totally agree!
I also agree that the father's parents tend to get the short end of the stick. Just take a few hours and go and visit them. You may not like your MIL, but it is your baby's grandma.
Go Phils!!
TTC#2 October 2011. June 2012 diagnosed with mild PCOS and both tubes blocked.
10/1/12 miracle BFP 11/12/12 missed m/c (9w2d), baby stopped growing at 7 weeks
1/16/13 BFP, EDD 9/27/13, m/c 1/19/13
2/12/13 BFP, EDD 10/25/13 Please stick little one
A stowaway on board!
I'm sorry...there may be more to the story than what we know, obviously, but I'd still make the effort to visit at least once while we were there.
Having a full nursery for your grandchild is great, but just because they don't and she's a little nuts doesn't mean you shouldn't let your son visit.
Just my two cents, but if your DH is in agreeance with your reasons for not visiting, then just politely let him handle the dirty work (as it seems you're doing).