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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
MamaSquish
member
Ferber Mamas
MamaSquish
member
How did you do it? I know how, I mean HOW?
I tried it for about 5 minutes last month and it was horrible-I couldn't listen to him cry like that. He was gasping for air, getting congested, it was torture. I went and got him and we're still cosleeping.
But I know that we are eventually going to have to let him cry a little to learn how to comfort himself.
Tips Please.....
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Re: Ferber Mamas
It's the hardest thing ever, to hear your child cry and not comfort them. I'm trying it as well, but can't let him go that long either without comforting my LO. When I told my pedi I was trying to get him to take naps in the crib, she told me to just walk away and take a long shower and hope that he falls asleep on his own...easy to say, SO hard to do! I'm right there with you.
On a side note, what part of N.CA are you from, I just moved from Chico to Boston last year.
We rented a movie and tried to watch it. Also... DH was there to "relieve" me. He went in a checked on DS when I couldn't bare to hear him cry anymore. Also, we turned off the monitor and went somewhere where it was harder (not impossible) to hear. DH kept telling me that it was necessary and that it would be better in the long run if he learned how to soothe himself.
If it makes you feel better - it has been MUCH better since, he's happier, more talkative and doesn't wake up screaming anymore. He's eating better and he smiles when I come in in the morning to get him. It was like a completely different baby. He wasn't unhappy or anything before that, but you could definitely tell that his lack of sleeping for longer periods of time was waring on him as much as it was us. Plus think of all the extra "fun" time you get to spend with LO... we would literally spend half the day rocking DS to sleep for naps... now we get to play for that time and he stays up a bit longer between naps.
Our Pedi says the same thing. He does well at naps but they're still in his swing.
I'm in Davis-about an hour south of Chico!
I agree. It was really, really hard. Honestly, it still is, and we've been doing it for 2.5 weeks.
Someone else posted that her mantra was, "I'm teaching him how to sleep. He and I will both be happier..." (or something like that), and it made such a difference to me, to know that ultimately we will all be better off.
Also, as the PP mentioned, I was spending 2+ hours crying with him over the course of a night, at a minimum. We were all so upset. The pedi said, if he's going to cry, you might as well get something out of it, and we do... he is definitely learning to soothe.
Last night, I fed him at 4:15. This is the WORST, because he has slept enough to be somewhat awake, and he ALWAYS fights going back to sleep (Ferber or not). So, I knew he was fed and changed and otherwise happy. I put him back in the crib, closed his door tight, closed our door tight, and turned off the monitor (if he cried, I could still hear him, but it would be very muted). I didn't hear anything. I have no idea if he slept or not, but he was quietly in his crib for another 90 minutes, and I taught him that 4:15 is not awake time.
(ok, LOL at "taught", as if he'd learn this lesson so quickly... but you get the picture)
If I didn't have my DH to help me through it, I would have caved. He kept telling me that we were doing a good thing and it would benefit her, not harm her. I *tried* to not check the monitor and I had 2 baskets of laundry to fold. I had to keep busy doing something, I couldn't have just sat there doing nothing.
Looking back, I'm soooo glad we did it. She STTN now and is so much happier for it. She takes better naps during the day (usually) and hasn't been as fussy. She's just a happier baby. We needed to help her learn how to do it on her own and she's really benefited from it.
I know it's hard and I cried so much the first night. It's one of the hardest things we have to do as parents. But your LO will be better in the end for it. You're teaching them sleep habits for life! GL!