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January 2011 Moms
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L&D, stress & frustration

branlynnbranlynn
in January 2011 Moms

I started having some pretty intense contractions on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning that were waking me up in the middle of the night. I woke up Wednesday and was still having them, not to mention being exhausted from getting almost no sleep (I woke up every hour at least). I ate and took a shower, and fell asleep. I woke up and *thought* I wasn't having them anymore, so my mom and I went to Hobby Lobby, where I almost passed out in line. I ended up in L&D again, having some pretty major contractions. My cervix was closed but soft, so they kept me overnight. I got a shot to stop the contractions before I fell asleep last night, but apparently it didn't completely stop them because I'm still having them.

My doctor came in this morning and said that yet again there's no reason for me to be having contractions (no infections, no signs of pre-e, I'm way hydrated, etc), and while they were real and not BH, they weren't active labor, so he sent me home.... but told me I'm not allowed to work anymore. He said there's nothing wrong physically with me, that I'm just super stressed, and since I can't quit school, especially being so close to graduation (36 days!), he doesn't want me to work anymore. I've always been a really stressed person, but being in the 3rd tri is not the time to be this stressed, clearly.

The frustrating part is that I'm so used to being super independent - since I turned 16, I've had a job, paid for my own gas, extras, and since I went to college I've paid for pretty much everything myself (even though I live with my parents still/again). It's frustrating that I'm 22 years old and have to rely on my parents for everything again. My mom went through the same thing when she was pregnant with me when she was my age, except she even had her own apartment and everything and had to move back in with my grandpa. What's worse is that my parents were finally going on their honeymoon (20 years later), leaving the day after Thanksgiving and going to Hawaii for a week, but they're postponing it until the end of January/beginning of February for their birthdays instead - and it's 50% because of me and the baby. (The other 50% is that we're being let out of our lease from the most poorly built house ever a year early so we're looking at houses now to start moving next week).

I just feel like a major pain in the ass... I know that baby comes first, but this isn't how any of this was supposed to work out, at all.  

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Re: L&D, stress & frustration

  • nic84nic84 member
    Hang in there! I am sure that your parents understand and only want what is best for you and your baby. Try to focus on finishing school, which is a great accomplishment. Just remember that this is all better for your baby and will be worth it! Good luck!

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  • starsmaycollidestarsmaycollide
    I'm so sorry! That really sucks. :( But you really shouldn't blame yourself and think about it in terms of what your parents are having to do-he most important thing is that you and the baby are okay, and I'm sure that is more important to them than Hawaii any day! Just don't feel bad for what you can't control. Take it easy and try to do things to help you relax.  I hope moving will go smoothly for you and that you don't have any more contractions.
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  • ffejsGirlffejsGirl

    I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It sounds like although you feel like a burden on your parents they are more than willing to help you which is great.

    My co-worker had her baby 2 months ago. She was having contractions just like you starting at 24 weeks. She'd be doing her job and double over from a contraction then go back to work, it was crazy. She ended up being induced at 40 weeks, despite all the contractions she never had any progress, go figure.

    Hopefully everything works out good for you. I'm sorry you can't work anymore.

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  • sandylousandylou member
    It sounds rough but it will all be worth it in the long run! Try not to feel like a pain and remember you can always make it up to them later!!
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  • AppleMommaAppleMomma member
    Big bear hugs and thoughts of warm bubbly baths coming your way. Hope you get some good rest and good luck with your upcoming graduation!
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  • hot_tamalehot_tamale member

    You can't change any of it, so I wouldn't waste all that time and energy focusing on it. Would it have been better for you to be more financially secure before having a baby? Sure, but that isn't your reality. It sucks that your parents have to step in, but that is was loving families do. 

    It could be a lot worse. At least your family is willing to help you. I would just focus on being grateful for their support and make sure that they know you appreciate everything they are doing. Really all you can do to make their sacrifice worthwhile is take care of your health and focus on doing better for yourself in the future.

    In a couple years when you are back on your feet and supporting both yourself and your LO, I am sure your parents will feel like the investment they are making now, in supporting you, was worth it.  

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  • futuremrscohickfuturemrscohick

    This is exactly how I feel - I'm very independent and I feel so guilty that my mom has taken FMLA leave at a reduced pay to come take care of me.  I started crying last night telling her I'm so sorry I'm a burden and she told me that's what moms do... they take care of their kids and someday Ella will need me like this.  She's so right - that is part of being a parent.  Believe me - they wouldn't do it if they didn't want to :)

    In the mean time, try and relax and keep that baby in there!

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  • kpmd1kpmd1
    You sound like me a little. I was/am SO independent. I started working and paying for most if not all of my own stuff at age 14 and not because I had to but I was just driven to for some reason. I moved out at 19 and ended up in a situation where I was going to college, working and had just broken up with a guy I'd been dating for 4 years and I couldn't do it anymore. I felt so bad moving back in with my Mom. I felt like all the independence I had shown was for nothing and that it was ridiculous for me at the time (age 24) to be back living with my Mom. I quit my job and focused solely on school and had to let her help me out with a lot of things so I could finally graduate. It embarassed me to no end, but then she told me that because I had been so independent she had never had the chance to help me with anything before. I would never let her. She never had given me money, paid for my education, nothing, so for her it was nice to be able to do this for her daughter. I think you have to choose to look at it that way. At 22, it seems like a travesty, but I'm telling you that there will be many, many times in your future that you will need help and may not be able to get what you need, so you just need to accept their love and help at this time and realize that as parents that is what they and WE signed up for. Good luck. Keep your chin up. You're almost there with both the baby and school and you have your whole life ahead of you to do it your way.
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