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My grandma thinks BFing is gross

ash.fleaash.flea
in North Dakota Babies

Or, I guess I should say, BFing a newborn is fine but only for a few months...

I had lunch with her & my mom today.  At one point Mom asked if I had brought a bottle of pumped milk and I told her no.  Gavin is still fighting the bottle and it's not worth it to have that battle in public, it's just easier to BF him right now.

My grandma said "Well you better break him of that soon!"

I said "Yeah it's annoying but since I'm a SAHM it's no big deal right now.  We're working on it, though."

Then she says "You'd better hurry.  He's going to have to start formula any day now."

I said "Why?  I'm not planning to ever give him formula if I don't have to."

Her face looked something like this: Indifferent She said "You're seriously going to breastfeed for an entire year?"

I said "Well, if everything goes well.  I'm hoping to BF until he self-weans."

She then decided to tell me that a year old baby is "way too old" to BF and that it is "disgusting" once they are that big.  Really?  I know some people think it's gross to BF toddlers (like 2+ years) but I've never heard anyone say it was "disgusting" to BF a one year old.  According to her BFing is gross once they are mobile (crawling, not even walking...)  No wonder my mom wasn't able to BF with that kind of support system...

Oh well, she's going to be really disgusted.

She also griped at me for not giving him juice or cereal yet.  It was such a fun meal!

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Re: My grandma thinks BFing is gross

  • AshleysredAshleysred

    Grandmas are ridic.  I think if it were up to my grandma I would never have started to BF. 

    Did you just laugh at her?!  I always just shug my shoulders and laugh at my grandma.

    Sidenote - WTF is up with people wanting to give babies juice?  I am going to try to avoid giving K juice for as long as possible. 

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  • natalie115natalie115 member
    Why should she even care? It's not like she's the one BFing him which means it's no concern of hers. For the record I nursed for a long time, we're talking 2+ years (FWIW it was never in public, but I was the last child and my mom was a SAHM so I was spoiled) and nothing bad ever came from it. In fact there's an OWT that says the long a baby nurses the smarter he/she will be...grandma's always love OWT...lol

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


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  • trevesstrevess
    Even in their day, it was a status thing to BF or not. Only poor people who couldn't afford formula were forced to BF. This is also the same generation that glamorized smoking, so the old adage of "the older, the wiser" doesn't always necessarily apply. I don't say that to offend, but rather shed some light on why people of that generation have that mindset. Good for you for sticking to your guns!
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  • Kahtie41Kahtie41

    imagetrevess:
    Even in their day, it was a status thing to BF or not. Only poor people who couldn't afford formula were forced to BF. This is also the same generation that glamorized smoking, so the old adage of "the older, the wiser" doesn't always necessarily apply. I don't say that to offend, but rather shed some light on why people of that generation have that mindset. Good for you for sticking to your guns!

    My grandma said something similar to this.  Her generation was the first where women really fought to be in the workplace, and she said BFing was something that "kept you tied up at home" so the "modern woman" would choose formula.  I asked what kind of formula she used and it was crazy!  She said they made it at home and two of the ingredients she mentioned were PET milk and karo syrup.  I think that's more gross than BFing. 

    Anniversary
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  • ash.fleaash.flea

    imageKahtie41:

    I asked what kind of formula she used and it was crazy!  She said they made it at home and two of the ingredients she mentioned were PET milk and karo syrup.  I think that's more gross than BFing. 

    And we wonder why Americans have so many health problems...  Wow!

    I learned a long time ago to just ignore most of what my grandma says.  She and I have vastly different parenting styles.

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  • WendellsWendells
    wow, crazy!  My grandma is 89 and had 4 kids.  She never once said anything like that to me!  Sorry :(  I'm glad that I didn't have to deal with that kind of attitude from anybody around me.  it can't be easy but you're doing a great job.  I BF'd G until he was 13 months
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  • dani_girl08dani_girl08
    Wow!
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  • MrsLC11MrsLC11
    OMG! He's not even FOUR months old! I'm sorry ash, that's super lame.
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  • libertadwlibertadw
    My MIL and SIL used to give me the same lecture. They were disgusted that I bf Ian past 6 weeks.
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  • MmeBPMmeBP
    Wow!
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  • sillybiochemistsillybiochemist

    My mom (a nurse BTW) told me I was trying too hard to breast feed the day after we came home from the hospital and that it wasn't worth it.  I think she fully doesn't understand the whole breast feeding trend of today in part because of what others mentioned about being able to afford formula and if you couldn't then you breast fed (rather than it being considered a more equal option like it is today).  My MIL is really supportive about it even though both of her boys were formula fed, like I was.  Then again she's more open minded about things so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.

    My mom was also shocked that they told us not to give the baby sugar water to prevent dehydration.  Then again things change and since my mom doesn't work in L&D she has no reason to be up on the newer literature except from me having a kid.  So I don't fault her for that but I've had to tell her to back off a bit on occasion.  I think she realizes that this is a decision that is up to me and isn't worth the argument (FINALLY).  I'm not looking forward to finding out what my dad's mom (my only grandparent remaining) thinks of me breast feeding since I'm sure it will be like the example from above that it just isn't right/gross even though JJ will only be about 3 months old when she meets him.

    Try not to let it bother you too much.  It sounds like you're mom is at least trying to be supportive even if her mom isn't.  And more of us are in the same boat with the criticism which I hope makes you feel like you're not alone. 

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