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Husband asked if i can put some make up on...

AshleyD9AshleyD9
in 3rd Trimester

So my husband and are about to have sex, he's going to take a shower first. I'm shutting the bathroom door and he stops me and says "Can you put a little make up on?" My jaw dropped and i walked away. Then he follows me and says "Don't be mad i just thought you could get done up a little. Never mind, it will be dark anyway." With that my jaw dropped even lower. He went to take a shower and i just started crying. 

Is this something i should be upset or offended by or am i just being emotional?  

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Re: Husband asked if i can put some make up on...

  • ChelStefaniChelStefani member
    I would be super upset if it were me.
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  • mspatchemspatche
    omg! he needs to get his act together! He should be happy you are letting him come anywhere near you this far along!
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  • DeAnna&DavidRyderDeAnna&DavidRyder member
    imagelaurelannie:

    ...no you can be upset, really upset. I'm pretty sure I would cry for an entire day if DH said that to me. Hopefully he realizes how much that hurt and apologizes and doesn't do it again. I don't like making the "guys are clueless" comment a lot, because I think they are capable of more then we give them credit for and I don't like making excuses for horrible behavior, but hopefully in this case, he really was just clueless as to how insulting that sounded.

     

    I agree.

    Obviously we don't know your husband but it sounds to me like he didn't mean it as rude as it sounds.

    I'm thinking, he was picturing, fun sexy night where you guys get kinda done up for each other. Instead of the usual sex? There's nothing wrong with that thought IMO, but he sure didn't go about it correctly.

     

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  • BabyyMammaBabyyMamma member
    That is a terrible comment and I would be VERY hurt  BUT.....when I have makeup on and my hair is done, I feel the most beautiful and  im more confident. which leads to better sex. 
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  • DeAnna&DavidRyderDeAnna&DavidRyder member

    imageBabyyMamma:
    That is a terrible comment and I would be VERY hurt  BUT.....when I have makeup on and my hair is done, I feel the most beautiful and  im more confident. which leads to better sex. 

    Ya. . . IDK for some reason I just don't think he meant it in a jerk way. Maybe its because I know if my H said something like this it wouldn't be because he's an ass.  

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  • DeAnna&DavidRyderDeAnna&DavidRyder member

    imageBabyyMamma:
    That is a terrible comment and I would be VERY hurt  BUT.....when I have makeup on and my hair is done, I feel the most beautiful and  im more confident. which leads to better sex. 

    Ya. . . IDK for some reason I just don't think he meant it in a jerk way. Maybe its because I know if my H said something like this it wouldn't be because he's an ass.  

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  • Bredins wifeBredins wife member
    I just read this to DH and he can't believe that 1. at 37 weeks your willing to have sex, and 2. that he actually said the second part about it being dark so it wouldn't matter. I'm sorry he said that, I am sure you are beautiful with or with out make up! And your DH might have sympathy pregnancy brain and not know what he is talking about. Hopefully he will realize how mean it sounded and give you hugs and flowers tomorrow! 
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  • AshleyD9AshleyD9
    Thanks for your compassion everyone. Honestly im over it already. I can't let too many things bother me these days. I've got more important things on my mind. But thanks to everyone! 
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  • BabyyMammaBabyyMamma member

    imageAshleyD9:
    Thanks for your compassion everyone. Honestly im over it already. I can't let too many things bother me these days. I've got more important things on my mind. But thanks to everyone! 

    I have to explain to my husband all the time why its important to me that he makes me feel beautiful. Men think about the way they look different than we do. Its not that their "clueless men" they just dont understand why we are touchy about that type of comment, because they could care less if you thought they needed to loose a few pounds or wanted them to shave or something. (in most cases) 

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  • lizsiteslizsites
    Oy. Good for you for moving on from it, but reading that almost hurt *my* feelings! My DH has never said anything like that to me (I dare him to!), but he does ask me to change if I'm trying to leave the house in sweats. Even if I'm just running to the gas station to get the newspaper. But that's about as much as he has the balls to comment on. hehehe!
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  • insertclevernameinsertclevername member

    imagesylwill:
    wow, just wow. I don't think there's ANY explanation for that. He shouldn't have said that. Even if he meant the first part as a "oh let's have a fun sexy night," the comment about it being dark was douchy. My husband just read that and asked if your husband is still alive?

    Lol.  There is no excuse for saying something that douchy, especially when you are 37 weeks pregnant.  My DH would never say something like that, but if he did he definitely better run afterwards because otherwise he would have to endure a swift kick in the nuts or possible death.

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  • MrsJohnnaJohnsonMrsJohnnaJohnson member
    UGH!! I would have cried too! That's horrible thing to say. He could have tried to put it in nicer terms of he wanted to see you in make-up. I remember always thinking that men really didnt care whether we wore makeup or not, that It was really more us that cared so much, until one day I asked my husband if he liked me wearing makeup and he said yes because it made my face look different and sexy. I'm sure he loves the way you look at all times. men are weird when it comes to sex. BUT with that being said, he should have just kept his mouth shut because his wording makde ME want to cry. If my husband said that to me I would probably cry for days!!! But im SUPER emotional! :)
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  • mrsf123mrsf123 member

    He'd. Be. Dead.

    Then again, DH doesn't like it when I wear makeup so it wouldn't happen in my house.

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  • MJHersheyMJHershey member

    imageAshleyD9:
    Thanks for your compassion everyone. Honestly im over it already. I can't let too many things bother me these days. I've got more important things on my mind. But thanks to everyone! 

     

    I commend you because I would not be able to let a comment like that go without him knowing that it hurt my feelings.  Then I'd let it go.

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  • mommy2bex3mommy2bex3
    He asked you to put on make-up just to have sex?OMG!My feelings would be super hurt.Maybe he didn't realize how asinine that was!
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  • MrsTechieMrsTechie

    After a comment like that, I sincerely hope that there was no sex last night.

    Mr Techie would have been sleeping alone. And I probably would have forced him onto a different floor of the house to get away from him.

     

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  • kensbride08kensbride08
    OMG Id kill him. The way I feel right now he'd be grateful to get some let alone telling me he'd like it if I had makeup on>!>!>!>
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  • monimonimonimonimonimoni member
    Um...WTF? You're married to this piece of work? Yeah you should be offended, what an awful thing to say. Ugh.

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  • lulu3061lulu3061 member
    I hope he didn't mean anything by it but, if he did he is the opposite of awesome.
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  • beautifulsin90beautifulsin90
    imagelaurelannie:

    ...no you can be upset, really upset. I'm pretty sure I would cry for an entire day if DH said that to me. Hopefully he realizes how much that hurt and apologizes and doesn't do it again. I don't like making the "guys are clueless" comment a lot, because I think they are capable of more then we give them credit for and I don't like making excuses for horrible behavior, but hopefully in this case, he really was just clueless as to how insulting that sounded.

     

    This, every bit of it... That was really rude of him and he should apologize. Men just think they can say stuff like that and we will go "Oh, boys will be boys" 

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