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And it gets worse...

kerri_wookerri_woo
in TTC After a Loss
DH just gets home (see Avoidance and F/U to avoidance to catch up) and shows me the bday cards he got from in laws and SIL.  SIL's card is signed ____, ____, & baby_____.  I immediately start crying and DH asks what's wrong so I tell him (even though I shouldn't have to).  He says well we'll do things like that, too.  I said I wouldn't if she had just gone through a loss.  I said I went out of my way to be sensitive to her when I heard she was stressed about how to talk to me after she found out she was pg, but nobody has gone out of their way to be sensitive to me and the loss.  Did she really have to sign baby____________.....it's not even born yet so what was the point????
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Re: And it gets worse...

  • KK1109KK1109
    That's just wrong.  I give her a big "booooo"!  
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  • luckymrs.luckymrs.

    I'm so sorry.  Big ((((hugs)))))

    That's very thoughtless of her.  No

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  • JMH1124JMH1124

    Ugh!!!  How obnoxious.  People just don't understand, and they will never understand unless they have been through this themselves.  I am so sorry you are having to deal with this Sad

    Lila Vivian born 7.20.11
    BFP 3.13.10 - Missed MC discovered 5.13.10 at 12w1d - D&E 5.17.10 TTCAL Buddies with kerri_woo and W111MRP
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  • maymaymiamaymaymia
    So sorry. Hugs!
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  • anonomityanonomity
    I'm sorry, that really sucks.  You would think people could have some common sense and be more sensitive.  ((hugs))
    TTC since January 2010
    BFP 5/9/10. U/S - no heartbeat 6/2/10 (7 weeks). Induced miscarriage 6/7/10.
    Chemical pregnancies 12/2/10, 1/3/11, and 2/7/11.
    dx: RPL due to poor quality uterine lining; begin progesterone January 2011
    BFP 3/10/11. EDD 11/19/11. E arrived 11/15/11!

    Loss Blog | Life Blog

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • lookingformommylandlookingformommyland member
    That's pretty insensitive.
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  • jenniann87jenniann87 member
    Im sorry. That sucks. (((HUGS)))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ANGELS ARE GIVEN WINGS AND TAKEN BACK TOO SOON --- We love and miss you soo much Kacie Rae --- 9/11/10 --- born sleeping at 29wks2d
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  • kerri_wookerri_woo
    Thanks ladies...after a half hour of crying in the shower and now an hour of talking to DH, I feel worn out.  I tried to explain to him that the first insensitive thing she said (drink one for me) was hard but he made an excuse for her and said she wasn't thinking...so I swept it under the rug...this is the second thing and it just is unacceptable.  I told him everyone knows how she felt when finding out she was pregnant and I helped her out with that....does anybody else in the family know I made that effort?  also does anyone else know how hard this is for me?  He said no...but how would they?  I said, her sister sure as he** made sure you knew, and you sure as he** made sure I knew...but I guess that's the difference, nobody has made sure people know how hard this is and they I deserve a little sensitivity....
    Sorry ladies but this has just been building...he has no idea that I think about how she is pregnant and I'm not every day....with the wave of BFP's and my BFN on Sunday (I haven't been able to bring myself to test again...) I just feel so frustrated and SAD Crying and alone....
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  • tdmd09tdmd09 member

    That really sucks. Even if you haven't been through a loss yourself, it's hard to imagine not using common sense. When we told our friends we were expecting, one of our friends had just had a m/c a week or two before. We ended up indirectly telling her husband first (because we ran into him and some friends, and someone else made a comment to me about being pregnant), and let him tell his wife when he felt she would be okay (which was a few days later, per her). We were very conscious of not rubbing it in their faces or being insensitive, even though we had not yet experienced any losses.

    I'd poke your SIL in the (sore) boobs if I were you.

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    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
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