What do your Step Kids Call You?

EvergreenKali · November 2010

I picked up my two SD's last night for the first night of our week on after an entire week off schedule and usually after we haven't seen them for a week they mistakenly call me "Mom" or "Mommy" when addressing me.

Well last night they did it again and then said "It's okay if we call you Mom because you are now our step mom" and then asked if I was okay if they called me Mom too. I told them that I was okay with whatever they were comfortable with and they both very much want to call me Mom. It's a little foreign sounding to me right now and I was wondering what your step kids call you?

normajeane6126 · November 2010

SD calls me "Kay" and she calls her mom's SO "Babe". She's 2, if that makes a difference.

Phantomgirl · November 2010

SS calls me by my name.

LorelaiOctoberBride · November 2010

by my first name... they're 11. I met them when they were 5 and they called me Miss Lorelai -sort of. Sometimes, they still call me that, but mostly, it's my first name.

Blue1299 · November 2010

They call me Ms. *myfirstname*. I asked them to come up with something different once we got married but it didn't happen.

aggy34 · November 2010

My SD calls me by my first name but that is because BM threw a fit when she found out SD was calling me mommy. I can understand where BM is coming from but it upset SD when BM told her that she is never to call me mommy and then tells her that she has to call BM's BF daddy because he lives with them. Way to confuse the poor child. DH and I believe she should be able to call me what she is comfortable with when she is in our house but BM doesn't see it that way she wants to have control even when she is with us. DH has never told her she can't call BF daddy if she wants to but BM actually punished her with taking away toys and privilages when she called them both by their first names when she was 3 (she is now 5). So now she calls both DH and me by our first names because BM has her so confused as to who is who in her life. I am hoping as she gets older she will start to understand better but I am not holding my breath with BM.

candicemmann · November 2010

my sd calls me step-mommy or step-mom (she is 6)

Ginlyn0 · November 2010

We let the kids decide what they are comfortable calling their stepparents.

My SKs call me Mommy. They also call their SD, Daddy. DD calls DH by his first name and she calls her SM by her name as well.

Erin0922 · November 2010

Bean.

mrslucid · November 2010

It alternates with SS. His BM is not in his life so sometimes he calls me by my first name and other times he calls me mom.

Littlejen22 · November 2010

I would make sure that BM is not going to flip out over this before you tell them it is fine. My SD always called me by my first name and my LOs are with DH but I can promise that if I were divorced and my kids had a step-Mom I would F-R-E-A-K if they called her Mom, I would be very upset not made at them but would be mad that someone thought that marrying their father somehow made her a Mom. It is great that they can see their step-Mom as a parent but unless you have unusual circumstances plus their Mother did not have at least 50/50 custody then you are not their Mom. Come up with something cute together even if it is what someone else said like step-Mommy.

karatechrissy · November 2010

SS calls me 'hunnie'. That's all he has heard me called (by his dad) since before he was 2. He is almost 5 now. Everyone in the family now refers to me as hunnie, and so do SS's friends. It's pretty cute. SS will be talking to a friend and will say 'my hunnie said I can't play right now' or whatever... the kids at our karate school call me hunnie (unless I'm teaching of course, than I'm Mrs. X). SS's mom even calls me hunnie.

JThomas221 · November 2010

karatechrissy:
SS calls me 'hunnie'. That's all he has heard me called (by his dad) since before he was 2. He is almost 5 now. Everyone in the family now refers to me as hunnie, and so do SS's friends. It's pretty cute. SS will be talking to a friend and will say 'my hunnie said I can't play right now' or whatever... the kids at our karate school call me hunnie (unless I'm teaching of course, than I'm Mrs. X). SS's mom even calls me hunnie.

That's cute!

SD's call me by my first name.

gosse1km · November 2010

Mom or any variation there of. I've been in her life since she was 3, we have 50/50 and live in the same town as BM. BM knows she calls me mom and has no problem with it. If BM and I are together SD will usually call BM "Mommy" and me "Mama" to avoid confusion.

Funny thing, when she's ticked at me, instead of calling me by my name, which I expected, she calls me "Mother". I'm not sure what's worse to be honest

nickelbabi · November 2010

When we first got married, SS said he wanted to call me mom but that his BM told him he wasn't allowed to. I told him he could call me whatever made him feel most comfortable and he calls me by by name, but sometimes refers to me as mom to other people when he's with us.

AimesH · November 2010

My SS is 5 and calls me Momma. I've been around since he was 16 months old and he started calling me Momma before he was 2 by his own choice - I've always told him he can call me whatever he wants when he asks.

For a while he would get spanked at his BM's house if he called me Momma or DH (his bio-dad) Daddy. He was told he had to call us by our first names and he was to call his BM and StepDad Mommy and Daddy only.

When we found that out (along w/ some other things) we took them to court and won custody. Now he calls me Momma, DH Daddy, his BM Mommy and his StepDad Dad. No one seems to have a problem with it and SS is happy

mommydale · November 2010

Depends on his mood, he's 3 and he rotates back and forth between Mommy and Nikki. lol. I don't care one way or another as long as when he's talking to me its not hey you!

Shel77 · November 2010

My first name.

She asked & I explained that she had a great mommy and that should be what she calls her-this happened at 6yo and she was absolutely fine with it. She slips occasionally, but I also get called Mrs. -, her second grade teacher.

J&A2008 · November 2010

Mom

McNursey · November 2010

It goes between E and Mommy E depending. She does the same with BM's BF so we just let her decide what she wants to call her "steps".

circe811 · November 2010

90% of the time I'm "Kelly" and about 10% of the time she'll call me "Mom."

knmommy · November 2010

I am a BM, but DS calls my DH dad. He was about 13 months when he met him. At first it was "Tom" then it was "daddy Tom" finally it just became dad.

tumble · November 2010

They call me by name which I am so ok with.

Ilumine · November 2010

It does not matter what happens in OUR situations really. All that matters is how the BM and BF feel about the step parents being called these very distinctive and emotionally ladden title.

You can ask anyone here, I believe that StepParents should get EQUAL respect, decision making and control in their own home, but that does not translate into EQUAL RIGHTS to the TITLE MOM/DAD.

The other biological earned that title by, well being the biological parent. And unless the other parent has lost that title through THEIR actions, the title or any close derivitave is off limits.

There are a gazillion other terms of endearment, even different languages that can be used instead. And it is not difficult enforcing this. I mean, we enforce the no touch tv remote, no pull dogs tails, no hit other kids, no sass back rules, so why is this one so "hard"?

This is a show of respect on OUR (step parent's) PART. That we understand the very strong connection between a parent and child.

And really and truly, why do YOU need to be called Mom?

shoeboxx · November 2010

He calls me by my first name. He tried calling me mom, but I asked him not to because I knew his mom would call the media claiming I was trying to take her kid.

FutureMrsDrew73110 · November 2010

My Skids were 2 1/2 18 months and 3 months when I came into their lives. My youngest SS has always called me Mama (even after correcting him for so long. BM agrees that he knows no difference than having 2 moms and 2 dads in his life) SD calls me Step-Mama (drives DH's family and mine nuts b/c of the negative view of the word stepmother but she likes it and I do too) and the oldest SS calls me by my first name.

Littlejen22 · November 2010

Ilumine:
It does not matter what happens in OUR situations really. All that matters is how the BM and BF feel about the step parents being called these very distinctive and emotionally ladden title.

You can ask anyone here, I believe that StepParents should get EQUAL respect, decision making and control in their own home, but that does not translate into EQUAL RIGHTS to the TITLE MOM/DAD.

The other biological earned that title by, well being the biological parent. And unless the other parent has lost that title through THEIR actions, the title or any close derivitave is off limits.

There are a gazillion other terms of endearment, even different languages that can be used instead. And it is not difficult enforcing this. I mean, we enforce the no touch tv remote, no pull dogs tails, no hit other kids, no sass back rules, so why is this one so "hard"?

This is a show of respect on OUR (step parent's) PART. That we understand the very strong connection between a parent and child.

And really and truly, why do YOU need to be called Mom?

Ilumine makes a great point, if it means so much to SK and they would be upset by being told not to use Mom/Dad for their step-parent then use the name from a different language, and I mean a language that is not so similar that they use Mama for Mommy.

MrsMcC781 · November 2010

My 15 yr old step daughter calls me by my first name, but what she calls me behind my back is another story Hmm

KatjaJoy · November 2010

My stepdaughter calls me by my first name. Well, she says "My Katie" which is sweet (she's 4).

It's very important to her mom that she not call me "mom" or "mommy" so we honor that. At first, she naturally said "mom" but we trained her to use my name.

It can be pretty touchy. I think it really depends on the age.

simplysins · November 2010

My SS calls me Auntie, thats because in our culture, anyone that is and adult even if it is one of your parents friends you call them Auntie or Uncle. So since he first met me when he was 5 he calls me Auntie.

anj0409 · November 2010

I've been around SS since he was 18 months just for some background. He calls me by my 1st name usually but sometimes mom. Either is ok with me, whatever he's comfortable with.

It was a little foreign when it first happened but I just smiled at him when he said "hi mom" and said "hi honey!" I think it's all about what's comfortable for the child(ren).

EvergreenKali · November 2010

Wow... it's a touchy subject for some.

I think what's important to remember is that every family is different. I don't think anyone should or shouldn't do anything a certain way. Some families might feel a lot more comfortable with two "Mom's" and two "Dad's" than others. I've noticed that those who have been most forceful and vocal about this insist that step parents aren't "Mom's" and "Dad's"...

To tell the truth, having been called "Mom" for one day was enough for me. They have been calling me "Mopje" for a long time and it means "sweet girl" in Dutch (which is what I am... Dutch, I mean.... and hopefully a sweet girl!). I like being Mopje. I'm not Mom and one day I will be, and I'm really okay to wait until then. But that being said, I also respect the families where step mom is also "Mom". Whatever works in creating a healthy and happy family.

YellowRibbon · November 2010

They both call me by my first name but refer to me as their mom or mother. For example, "I have to go ask my mom."..."YellowRibbon, can I go to the park?"

I think if we ever have another child that calls me mom, they may start calling me that but I just want them to be comfortable with whatever name they choose.

Phil&Corinna · November 2010

Ilumine:

It does not matter what happens in OUR situations really. All that matters is how the BM and BF feel about the step parents being called these very distinctive and emotionally ladden title.

You can ask anyone here, I believe that StepParents should get EQUAL respect, decision making and control in their own home, but that does not translate into EQUAL RIGHTS to the TITLE MOM/DAD.

The other biological earned that title by, well being the biological parent. And unless the other parent has lost that title through THEIR actions, the title or any close derivitave is off limits.

There are a gazillion other terms of endearment, even different languages that can be used instead. And it is not difficult enforcing this. I mean, we enforce the no touch tv remote, no pull dogs tails, no hit other kids, no sass back rules, so why is this one so "hard"?

This is a show of respect on OUR (step parent's) PART. That we understand the very strong connection between a parent and child.

And really and truly, why do YOU need to be called Mom?

This. My SS calls me by my name, but once in a while calls me Mom by accident... or Grandma... LOL As long as we both know who he's talking to, we don't make an issue of it!

MonkeyMadness · November 2010

Lozza or by my first name.

she introduces me as her step-mummy or says 'oh thats my other mum'

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